Fellows please check my INTRODUCTION

[Khezar]

ESSAY TOPIC: Problems in Pakistan's education system

INTRODUCTION:
Nelson Mandela once said,"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."There is no denying the fact that throughout human history,education has changed the destiny of nations.Despite its key role in nation-building,education in Pakistan has never been a top priority for the ruling elite.Decades of neglect have led to an education system that paints a gloomy picture.Enrollment and literacy rates remain fairly low with high dropout rates further complicating the situation.Moreover,there is an inequality of opportunity in the education system.The four provinces,urban and rural areas and the two genders do not have equal access to quality education.Apart from that,issues such as multiple media of instruction,outdated curricula,poor infrastructure,low student to teacher ratio and poor service delivery further undermine the system.At the policymaking level,low budgetary allocation,poor policy implementation,rampant corruption and no priority for technical and vocational education remain daunting challenges.Education in Pakistan thus faces serious problems at different levels which warrant attention and several measures should be taken to bring it at par with other developing countries.

[irsalanJK]

Amazing expression. These are the mistakes, of grammar and punctuation, as per my knowledge.

There is no denying the fact

recheck, grammatically, this sentence.

human history,education has changed the destiny of nations.

wrong use of comma. Single comma is not use this way; you can use full stop to separate two sentences or you can use comma with connecting word e.g.
,and plus you can use a pair of comma. Please consult Penguin guide for punctuation. Punctuation is very important for writing correctly.

been a top priority for the ruling

use of instead of for

Finally, please give space between full stop and starting word of new sentence-same goes with the comma.

hope this helps.
regards

[Khezar]

Originally Posted by irsalanJK

Amazing expression. These are the mistakes, of grammar and punctuation, as per my knowledge.

recheck, grammatically, this sentence.


wrong use of comma. Single comma is not use this way; you can use full stop to separate two sentences or you can use comma with connecting word e.g.
,and plus you can use a pair of comma. Please consult Penguin guide for punctuation. Punctuation is very important for writing correctly.

use of instead of for

Finally, please give space between full stop and starting word of new sentence-same goes with the comma.

hope this helps.
regards

Thank you so much for your guidance.working on that. One more thing, is my intro long enough (192 words i guess)?

[Zohaib Islam Kalwar]

INTRODUCTION:
Nelson Mandela once said,"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."There is no denying the fact that throughout human history,education has changed the destiny of nations.Despite its key role in nation-building,education in Pakistan has never been a top priority for the ruling elite.Decades of neglect have led to an education system that paints a gloomy picture.Enrollment and literacy rates remain fairly low with high dropout rates further complicating the situation.Moreover,there is an inequality of opportunity in the education system.The four provinces,urban and rural areas and the two genders do not have equal access to quality education.Apart from that,issues such as multiple media of instruction,outdated curricula,poor infrastructure,low student to teacher ratio and poor service delivery further undermine the system.At the policymaking level,low budgetary allocation,poor policy implementation,rampant corruption and no priority for technical and vocational education remain daunting challenges.Education in Pakistan thus faces serious problems at different levels which warrant attention and several measures should be taken to bring it at par with other developing countries.

Apart from some grammatical mistakes, you have written a good introduction.

But I would advise you to practice argumentative topics instead of explanatory ones. Nowadays, majority of the current CSS essay topics are from that category.

[Khezar]

Thank you Zohaib.
I will be writing an argumentative one next time.

[Ayesha sar]

it is good.