Essay Intros' checking for CE-13
 

[B][SIZE="5"][B][COLOR="Blue"]ESSAYS'S Introductions [COLOR="DarkRed"]FOR CE-13[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/B]

[COLOR="DimGray"][B][I][COLOR="RoyalBlue"][B]Salam to all hopefully you people are doing well.......[/I][/B][/COLOR]

I have opened this thread for checking our intros for CE-13's essays. Any one wants to get his/her intros checked by the members can post it here. We will try our best to help out each other. I am sure this would highly be beneficial for all the members who are extremely serious for the upcoming attempt.
[U]
[B][COLOR="DarkRed"]Note:[/COLOR][/B] Please post only introductions and present senario's paras and do not post outlines etc..[/U]

Therefore, all the members i.e. CSPs, Mods, and others senior and junior members are highly requested to take part in this thread. So that we can tackle our essay paper which is considered a monster one.


[B][I][COLOR="DimGray"]Thanks........

Regards........
Sara Abass.....[/COLOR][/I][/B]
[/B][/COLOR]

[B][COLOR="Blue"][B]ESSAY-[/B]Poverty in Pakistan[/COLOR][/B]

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Indigo"]1. INTRODUCTION[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

[B][COLOR="Indigo"][SIZE="4"]2. PRESENT SCENARIO [/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]
[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]a. Present state of poverty in Pakistan[/COLOR][/B]

Currently, Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces today. According to the Asian Development Bank’s estimate, nearly one third of the Pakistan’s population lives bellow the poverty line. Seventy-five percent of these poor reside in the rural areas. The poor people have not only the low-income levels, they also lack access to basic needs like education, health, clean drinking water, proper sanitation facilities and so on. All of these problems weaken their capabilities, limit their opportunities to secure employment. Reluctantly, social evils go to the rocket speed i.e. suicide committing, crimes, terrorism, child labour, vendetta between political actors and so on. Therefore, Poverty is an alarming situation, indeed, for a nation which is concerned with huge natural resources land and large labour force. There are a number of factors responsible for this state for affaires.

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Indigo"]3. CAUSES[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]
[B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]One of the causes of Poverty is ………………to be continue 4.Effects and till 5.conclusion[/COLOR][/B]
[B][I][COLOR="Gray"][B][I]
Please rate it. And if there is any mistake or error just let me know. This is my present scenario after intro. Because intro is ok. But I am confused about the second para of intro which is called present scenario.

Thanks

Regards....[/I][/B][/COLOR][/I][/B]

@ ssara

your effort is good and hopefully you can improve your writing skills using this thread.

In the beginning of your introduction of the essay ( currently................... Pakistan faces today)

currently and facing today holds the same meaning so in my opinion, in first sentence such mistake should be avoided. as essay writing should be precise and concise so you should be aware of this thing while starting an essay. In the middle of the essay such things could be ignored be the paper checker but as you know that first impression is the last impression so such minor things and mistakes should be avoided in the first sentence.

Your remaining introduction is superb.

Keep writing and best of luck.

[B][I][I][COLOR="DimGray"]Thanks sir Tamoor for pointing out my this mistake. Yes I was also thinking it that and yes you are certainly right that it is a BIG mistake in the starting. I am going to sort out it now.. And now the sentence would be..
[/COLOR][/I][/I][/B]

[B][COLOR="DarkSlateBlue"]Currently, Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces.

OR

Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces today/currently..[/COLOR][/B]

[B][I][COLOR="DimGray"]
Another thing is that, Sir it is my second paragraph of introduction. In first paragraph I have writing down in dramatically style .Right after Two paras I will have to go further with Causes, Effects and Conclusions..........

Thanks......

Regards[/COLOR][/I][/B]

Your Intro:

"[I]Currently, Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces today[/I]. (Rewrite as suggested by another post). According to the Asian Development Bank’s estimate, nearly one third of the Pakistan’s population lives bellow the poverty line. Seventy-five percent of these poor reside in the rural areas. [I]The poor people have not only the low-income levels[/I] (Those poor are not only earning low income), they also lack access to basic needs like education, health, clean drinking water, proper sanitation facilities and so on. [I]All of these problems weaken their capabilities, limit their opportunities to secure employment[/I] (Write at least three reasons). [I]Reluctantly, social evils go to the rocket speed i.e. suicide committing, crimes, terrorism, child labour, vendetta between political actors and so on[/I].(Needs complete rewriting, for example, Because of these reasons, social evils are on the rise, including but not limited to .......). Therefore, Poverty [I](level)[/I] is an alarming situation, indeed, for a nation [I]which is concerned with huge natural resources land and large labour force.[/I] (Rewrite the sentence, like, which has such huge natural resources at its disposal, for example, .....). There are a number of factors responsible for this state for affaires."

Currently, Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces today. According to the Asian Development Bank’s estimate, nearly one third of the Pakistan’s population lives bellow the poverty line. Seventy-five percent of these poor reside in the rural areas. The poor people have not only the low-income levels, they also lack access to basic needs like education, health, clean drinking water, proper sanitation facilities and so on. All of these problems weaken their capabilities, limit their opportunities to secure employment. Reluctantly, social evils go to the rocket speed i.e. suicide committing, crimes, terrorism, child labour, vendetta between political actors and so on. Therefore, Poverty is an alarming situation, indeed, for a nation which is concerned with huge natural resources land and large labour force. There are a number of factors responsible for this state for affaires.

[QUOTE=ssara;502322][B][COLOR="Blue"][B]ESSAY-[/B]Poverty in Pakistan[/COLOR][/B]

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Indigo"]1. INTRODUCTION[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

[B][COLOR="Indigo"][SIZE="4"]2. PRESENT SCENARIO [/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]
[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]a. Present state of poverty in Pakistan[/COLOR][/B]

Currently, Poverty has been one of the biggest problems that Pakistan faces today. According to the Asian Development Bank’s estimate, nearly one third of the Pakistan’s population lives bellow the poverty line. Seventy-five percent of these poor reside in the rural areas. The poor people have not only the low-income levels, they also lack access to basic needs like education, health, clean drinking water, proper sanitation facilities and so on. All of these problems weaken their capabilities, limit their opportunities to secure employment. Reluctantly, social evils go to the rocket speed i.e. suicide committing, crimes, terrorism, child labour, vendetta between political actors and so on. Therefore, Poverty is an alarming situation, indeed, for a nation which is concerned with huge natural resources land and large labour force. There are a number of factors responsible for this state for affaires.

[B][SIZE="4"][COLOR="Indigo"]3. CAUSES[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]
[B][COLOR="DarkSlateGray"]One of the causes of Poverty is ………………to be continue 4.Effects and till 5.conclusion[/COLOR][/B]
[B][I][COLOR="Gray"][B][I]
Please rate it. And if there is any mistake or error just let me know. This is my present scenario after intro. Because intro is ok. But I am confused about the second para of intro which is called present scenario.

Thanks

Regards....[/I][/B][/COLOR][/I][/B][/QUOTE]

good work.

[B][I][COLOR="DimGray"]Salam.........

I have a question is that what should be the length of introduction. And what should be length of a current scenario? means how many pages?

My Poverty's intro is about 1.5 page and current scenario is about 1 page?

And I have made my all conclusions for different essays half page 0.5...

I am little bit confused is it standard or not?

Waiting for your kind suggestions

Thanks...........[/COLOR][/I][/B]

the length of introduction(1-1.5 page) is enough. The length of current scenario may vary from topic to topic. Keep one thing in your mind, whatever the length of your paragraph of any portion of the essay, it should be precise, concise and to the point. Don't write irrelevent material to increase the length of your essay. Avoid repitition of ideas. Avoid repitition of vocabulary as much as you can.
If your introduction is good and striking then the length of current scenario does not matters.
Try to write a good introduction and then focus on your thesis statement and conclusion paragraph. The debate on thesis statement should be healthy and relevent.
The conclusion paragraph should be also striking as your introduction paragraph. Finish your essay in an optimistic manner.

Wishing you best of luck

[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]Introduction=1 to 1/5 or some times 2 pages

Scenario=Maximum 1 Page

Other Paragraph's length= half page to 1 page

Conclusion= Maximum one page

One thing should be noted, design your thesis from introduction to present scenario would be correct. Means from your introduction till Present Scenario one can get your essay's whole idea in other words gist of your essay. Simply, Just write down summary of your whole essay from introduction till present scenario.


If I am wrong do tell me.[/COLOR][/B]



[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]ALLAH BLESS YOU.[/COLOR][/B]