you deserve 35 marks for such a good essay writing. It was better organized.

@Red Max

A very good essay, infact, I would say it is exceptionally well written from a novice.
Some suggestions:

1. Your opening para starts as "A few things are best said when left unsaid. Similarly, a few rights are best exercised when they are left unexercised. The right to a thing must only be put into effect when its auspiciousness is ensured."
One minor suggestion is to add "for example" in the start of the last sentence i.e. "For example the right to a thing ........"
It will make clear what you are going to assert.

2. You can make your outlines much better. Your outline is given as:
Outline:
I. Introduction
II. State and the Individual
III. Israel and the International Aid Flotilla
IV. Executive of the State and his second fiddles
V. Media and the right to cover incidents
VI. Judge and a delinquent
VII. India, Pakistan and Indus Water Treaty
VIII. Conclusion

I would suggest to write this outline in more abstract terms, for example:

1. Introduction
2. State and Individual
3. Right to defence
4. Rights and Organizations Management
5. Freedom of Speech
6. Right to Punish
7. Rights in Inter States Affairs
8. Conclusion

3. The logic given in Israel Flotilla case is somewhat flawed. Because Israel has the right to defend its territories, but this right does not apply to international waters. This is more a case of pre-emptive strike rather than defending its own territory.

4. I completely agree with Viceroy about giving examples from history, religion etc. I will add more by suggesting that a blend of history and current affairs will make it more attractive.

Regards

Sorry I forgot about marks. I think you may get marks in the range of 33 to 37. (English professors number dene main boht kanjoos hotey hain ).

Dear Viceroy,

I beg your pardon for much delayed response. But I think you would okay it when I would tell you that I was on bed rest owing to high fever for the last whole week.

I am indeed very happy to see you have posted us a file containing sample essays and have already downloaded it and shall get a print in an hour. May you be rewarded for this. (Aameen)

__________________
Verily, His command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says "Be!" - and it is! (Al-Quran)

dear newstudent,

Thank you millions of times for taking some time out and going through my essay. I would surely concentrate on outline and other productive measures suggested by you and dear viceroy. I am grateful and downright.

__________________
Verily, His command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says "Be!" - and it is! (Al-Quran)