Energy Crisis:Causes and Consequences

[sarmadalimahar]

It is requested to senior to evalute my general statements and thesis statement. And point out any shortcoming in my intoductory paragraph, so that i can ward off myself from any future blunder in the essay paper.

Energy crisis in pakistan is the burgeoning menace which has played havoc with Pakistani nation.It has caused widespread social, economic, and political, and psychological problems in the country. However, there are still two ways to curb this growing peril of energy crisis. firstly;the underlying forces and factors which are producing devastating effects on pakistan should be sorted out; secondly, a comprehinsive strategy ought to be formulated to deal with the crisis.

i appeared in the examintion and attemped the topic and got 29 marks in the paper. therefore, please find out any fault in my paragraph. even juniors are also encoureged to comment on it............

[Khan Nasar]

please would you like to share your outline

[Workaholic]

I believe, an essay is all about structuring the piece of information you have in a proper order. All candidates more or less have the same information regarding a particular topic so the way you present your arguments and structure your essay is going to set you apart and would probably earn you more marks.

Your introductory paragraph seems more like a concluding paragraph to me. Its not wise to give solution to the problem right in the beginning. You do have a grip over the language so that's not an issue. This was not an unexpected topic and I am sure you do have enough material on it but that material was probably not presented properly.

Unless you have your points presented coherently in order;starting from explaining the problem followed by causes,consequences and lastly, your recommendations, chances are that your essay would leave the examiner confused as he/she would have to look for the points him/herself if they are presented in random order. Therefore, I stress on the importance of organizing the essay. It goes without saying that content is important too and of course you have to state evidence to justify your take on the topic. Facts and your own analysis go side my side but unless structured properly it won't do much good.

Hope this helps. Best of luck.

[Workaholic]

side by* side

[sarmadalimahar]

thanks for your kind suggestion. And i want to know difference between introductory paragraph and concluding paragraph as someone told me that concluding paragraph is the restatement of the introductory paragraph. also, please tell me how to move from general statement to thesis statement.

[sarmadalimahar]

this was my outline for the' Energy Crisis:Causes and Consequences
1.Introduction
2.Sources of energy
A.Non-renewable energy resouces
a. petroleum
b.natural gas
c.coal
d.Lpg
B. Renewable energy resources
a.wind energy
b.solar
c.biomass
d.hydal energy
C. Alternative energy
a.nuclear energy
3. factors of energy crisis
A. Growing demand for energy
a.Increase in population
b.Increase in consumerism-oriented economy
c.Higher Growth of industrial sector
d.Greator transportation needs
B.Lacking proactive and integrated planning for production of energy
a rental pwer plants(rpp)
b.IPP
C.Increasing imbalanced energy mix
D.Non-utilization of enormous indigenous energy resourses.
a.Thar coal
b.Hydal power
E.Circular debt:The formidable challenge
4. Way forward
5.Conclusion

I borrowed the information from the senior member of this forum; i can't recall his name but i borrowed most of my outline form him

[nice051]

Originally Posted by sarmadalimahar

this was my outline for the' Energy Crisis:Causes and Consequences
1.Introduction
2.Sources of energy
A.Non-renewable energy resouces
a. petroleum
b.natural gas
c.coal
d.Lpg
B. Renewable energy resources
a.wind energy
b.solar
c.biomass
d.hydal energy
C. Alternative energy
a.nuclear energy
3. factors of energy crisis
A. Growing demand for energy
a.Increase in population
b.Increase in consumerism-oriented economy
c.Higher Growth of industrial sector
d.Greator transportation needs
B.Lacking proactive and integrated planning for production of energy
a rental pwer plants(rpp)
b.IPP
C.Increasing imbalanced energy mix
D.Non-utilization of enormous indigenous energy resourses.
a.Thar coal
b.Hydal power
E.Circular debt:The formidable challenge
4. Way forward
5.Conclusion

I borrowed the information from the senior member of this forum; i can't recall his name but i borrowed most of my outline form him

No need to mention the stuff which is highlighted in blue colour.moreover, consequences of energy crisis are missing in your outline.

[Bozdar Iqbal]

Originally Posted by sarmadalimahar

this was my outline for the' Energy Crisis:Causes and Consequences
1.Introduction
2.Sources of energy
A.Non-renewable energy resouces
a. petroleum
b.natural gas
c.coal
d.Lpg
B. Renewable energy resources
a.wind energy
b.solar
c.biomass
d.hydal energy
C. Alternative energy
a.nuclear energy
3. factors of energy crisis
A. Growing demand for energy
a.Increase in population
b.Increase in consumerism-oriented economy
c.Higher Growth of industrial sector
d.Greator transportation needs
B.Lacking proactive and integrated planning for production of energy
a rental pwer plants(rpp)
b.IPP
C.Increasing imbalanced energy mix
D.Non-utilization of enormous indigenous energy resourses.
a.Thar coal
b.Hydal power
E.Circular debt:The formidable challenge
4. Way forward
5.Conclusion

I borrowed the information from the senior member of this forum; i can't recall his name but i borrowed most of my outline form him

If you have to pass essay just write that material which is asked.I passed essay paper 2012.wrote essay on energy crisis.i gave inroduction current scenerio,causes,consequences and conclusion.I mentioned way forward and suggestions in conclusion.I didnot write in outline.outline must be as question is asked.

[sarmadalimahar]

you are right sir. i hadn't had written that stuff which not only wasted my valuable time, but throw cold water upon my burning passion for the CSS. Also, i wrote suggestions in bullets and conclusion was absolutely absurd, so i failed in the essay. Please point out any mistake in my introductory paragraph as well as give me some suggestions for improving it. finally, i wrote consequences in the essay which i forgot to write here.

[sarmadalimahar]

sir Bozdar Iqbal sahib will you please write your introductory paragraph that you wrote in the exam so that i can learn from your writing skills. thank you..