In my humble opinion, essay was composed of 2 statements. The first statement was presented as a fact and the writer was asked to justify it. Your essay tackles that part handsomely. But the second statement was a question. And you were asked to provide arguments either in favor or against it. I feel it is a bit lacking on that part. Keywords were 'minorities', 'nationalism' and 'inclusive'. You wrote a great deal about the first too but in the outline you just mentioned inclusiveness in a subheading.Again, its just my own personal opinion. Best of luck for the result..

Can you post your complete essay here?

I wrote my essay on the topic of minorities and nationalities. Here is my outline. Can seniors please tell me if it's any good or not?

1-Introduction
2-Current world scenario
* Rise of nationalism
* Donald Trump and US/Steve Bandon and anti Muslim rhetoric
* EU refugee crisis, Brexit
* Indian nationalism under Modi

3-Evolution of nation state
* Peace of Westohalia
* French Revolution
* Unification of Italy and Germany
* End of Colonialism

4-Minorities in a modern nation state
* often sidelined
* not granted equal opportunities
* lack of development
* often take up arms against the state

5-Real world examples of conflicts between minorities and state
* Balkans
* Breakup of USSR
* Kurdish independence movements
* Kashmir

6-Presence of minorities doesn't mean violence is necessary
* US, multiculturalism
* Modern Russia, more than 23 ethnic groups
* India, hugely diverse states with very few secessionist movements

7-Pakistan, a nation of multiple nationalities
* Pre 1971, Pashtunistan and Bengali movements
* Bengali independence, harsh lesson learned
* Post 1971, movements all but finished due to democratic process, rights for everyone

8-Nationalism isn't inherently violent
* Rigid Nation state boundaries only in areas with intense historic conflicts e.g. Europe
* Minorities can live peacefully in areas that have experienced relative peace e.g. US
* Peace, development guarantee that minorities feel inclusive

9-Reccomendations
* Equal opportunities for everyone
* Promote shared values and culture
* Promote education of other cultures to increase ethnic tolerance
* Justice and freedom for everyone
* Relative autonomy (Iraqi Kurdistan example, 18th ammendment)
* Development of all people equally
* Stop hate speech against minorities
* International safeguards for the rights of minorities

10-Conclusion

What do senior members feel about this, is it good or not?

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This is my outline:

1. Introduction
1.1. Peace - a prerequisite for human growth and sustainable development
1.2. Increasing military engagements by UN - a prevalent issue
1.3. THESIS STATEMENT
2. International military engagements by UN since 2000:
2.1. Afghanistan - the war on terror since 2001
2.2. Iraq - in search of WMDs
2.3. Syria - installation of democratic regime & fight against terrorism
2.4. Palestine - historical conflict
2.5. Iran - sanction & militarization of region
2.6. North Korea - deterrence against nuclear threat
2.7. South China Sea - militarization of region by UNSC members
2.8. Crimea - annexation by Russia & UNSC
3. Reasons for the engagements:
3.1. Historical legacy & conflicts
3.2. Fight against terrorism
3.3. Deterrence against nuclear devastation
3.4. National interests of super powers
3.5. Power politics
3.6. Regional conflicts - Syria, Kashmir
4. Is the world moving towards peace?
No. Why?
4.1. Dialogue & War do not go hand in hand
4.2. Military engagements promote mistrust due to security dilemma
4.3. Use of economy for militarization instead of development
4.4 Devastation due to military engagements
5. Can there by peace?
Yes. How?
5.1. Solution of disputes through peace talks
5.2. Use of diplomacy to avoid conflicts
5.3. Confidence Building Measures (CBMs)
5.4. Bridging the economic gap between Global South & Global North
5.5. Focus on social development
5.6. Promotion of interfaith harmony & role of UN
6. Conclusion

In your opinion, is it passable?

Aristocrat,

You were going so good. If you could only have continued like that! Saray points de k end pe aap ne keh dia progress ka is se taluq he nahi. Saari raat rotay rahay aur mara koi bhi nahi wala muhaawra hogya! The bold part is totally irrelevant and agar ap fail hue (which is a chance, as this is year of the essay) to isi liye haun ge. Acha bhala essay khud he bigar dia. Good luck anyway

Nazish Hina
Your points 1,2, and 3 are totally irrelevant. If this is essay year, you are also in the danger zone. Besides, your outline is not self explanatory. Good luck though.

Your first 4 points are totally irrelevant. Even after that, you failed to address the main question of the essay. Sorry to be so straightforward, but I think this won't make it.

I opted the same topic. But the following outline looks better than mine and the above.

By the way, mine is here:

Yeah, I'm not very hopeful of clearing the exams after some people have pointed out the obvious fallacies in my essay. I'm quite hopeful I'll be able to clear other exams though, and not everybody gets it right the first time, right. I'll practice harder for the essays next time

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Don't lose hope.
I went through similar issue in today's current affairs paper.
Not fully understanding the question and if initially I did understand, I got deviated later (while writing) from what was reuirement of the question.

Is this your first time taking the exams too?

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