Miss Naqvi please comment on my essay...

I attempted 'Can women be equal to men in Pakistan?' Main theme of my essay was that : Yes women can be equal to men.. they are already traveling towards the road to equality.. True there are some injustices to women but they are few and mostly in Sindhi and tribal areas. We can not paint the picture of whole Pakistan as a women-oppressor nation based on few unfortunate events that happen now and then.

I stated that in most civilized Western nations too, women are subject to ill-treatment but they bring to light the more brighter side of picture. Same should be done by us.

I gave examples from social, economic, legal, constitutional and political points of view. Do you think I have been right in my theme? My outline and writing plus grammar is good enough. 3 pages' very neat outline and total 22 pages ka essay

[QUOTE=God Fearer;176493]Miss Naqvi please comment on my essay...

I attempted 'Can women be equal to men in Pakistan?'
Main theme of my essay was that :

Yes women can be equal to men.. they are already traveling towards the road to equality..
True there are some injustices to women but they are few and mostly in Sindhi and tribal areas.
We can not paint the picture of whole Pakistan as a women-oppressor nation based on few unfortunate events that happen now and then.

I stated that in most civilized Western nations too, women are subject to ill-treatment but they bring to light the more brighter side of picture. Same should be done by us.

I gave examples from social, economic, legal, constitutional and political points of view.

Do you think I have been right in my theme? My outline and writing plus grammar is good enough. 3 pages' very neat outline and total 22 pages ka essay[/QUOTE]

Well brother in the light of your ideas the direction of your essay is very right. As you have mentioned that your writing, grammar and flow was good then I think there is no serious blunder. I hope if you have rightly said about your writing skill then there is no hurdle in your way to qualify Essay paper.

Wish you good luck for your CE 2010

[QUOTE=DEADLYDOCTOR;176480]@ kawish
thanks
where i discuss problems i also mentioned or correlate it with "women can be equal to man but these problems are hurdles"
also in conclusion i wrote women cab equal to men ,efforts been done,but male dominance and other factors are not allowing the efforts to implement in right direction
to deal with these problems will lead towards women empowerment
and more of something like that,suggestions include improving status of women and their benefits like economic uplift,increase labour ,gdp increase,less dependacy,more educated society,political right and say,national improvement and other suggestions
i cannot remember it now in detail
what do you think now[/QUOTE]

well i had this thing in my mind that u might had discussed the related things in detail in the essay,but as long as ur outline is concerned,to my mind,wasn't that persuasive in the only,but the major context,that it should have said on the face of it which u had to state by another set of explainations....
anywaz i do believe examiners do go far far beyond outlines,or outlines could have been sufficiant.so no worries but best wishes

@all
my request regarding sharing the terrorism essay's outline.pls those who attempted the topic help me.thnx

Essay is not just an 'Outline'
 

Many members have been commenting on the outlines of different aspirants appeared in the recent css exam. I would like to add that outline is not standard in evaluating essay paper. None can assay the quality of essay by just looking at the outline. Also outline is not a mandatory part in the examination and many candidates have cleared this paper without having written the outline, but yes it helps you in getting 3-5 additional marks. What matters most in this paper is the relevance of ideas, structure and correct usage of english language. It must not beat about the bush and hence should be to the point with supplementary examples, events and quotations. Organization of ideas, sequence of ideas, simplicity and clarity are its necessary ingridients. All these things can only be examined by looking at the details in addition to outline. Considering the outline is superb but the detail that follows does not comply with the requirements, there is no guarantee to pass the essay paper.

A very important factor in essay paper is your luck. No matter how good you have written in the paper, its the examiner and his/her mood which decides your fate. There are many examples of brilliant candidates failing in this paper and many candidates who attempted this paper casually without even a minute preparation got through. So there is no hard and fast rules to examine essay paper.

Luck Matters
 

true, luck matters in defining your fate.
sometimes even your own mind is not supporting you on simple and logical things.

what I have learnt from my attempt of essay is one should distinguish between an essay and a research paper. An essay is based on a thesis which is already given in the paper, the most important thing is to understand the thesis or the title of the essay. the blunder which i had committed in my essay paper was my deductive approach to arive at the main topic instead of direct approach.

I had attempted "Dialogue is the best course for combatting terrorism"
I thought I would come to the main thesis using deductive method. which led me to a long course and i couldn't justify with main thesis "Dialogue".
Though, I concluded well, but my approach seems to be in wrong direction. I heard we should be direct in posing the thesis in Intro and develop and defend the thesis in essay till the conclusion.

best of luck for all

regards

@ Miss Naqvi
 

Thanks a lot for ure kind reply. I am a freelance journalist. I have written more than 250 articles in DAWN and The News... so you can well imagine my writing skill. I was confused only because no where in my essay i discussed in detail the problems of women in Pakistan... I just focused on the fact that problems exist everywhere. There is no need to make brouhaha of few unfortunate aspersions that happen in Pakistan as compared to the overall scenario where women are actually progressing in all fields of life.

i am not much hopeful about my essay.but i have no spelling mistake ,no grammar mistake, as i checked the paper 2 times. problem is i answered the question at the end of essay. the main theme of my essay : '[I]women can be equal to men in Pakistan but they are not because of these factors. can become equal if following steps are taken.if become equal following advantages to country'[/I]
i think its all going to be on examiner checking the paper on that particular day.:bow
lets keep fingers crossed till then.:dd

[QUOTE=DEADLYDOCTOR;176937]i am not much hopeful about my essay.....problem is i answered the question at the end of essay. the main theme of my essay : 'lets keep fingers crossed till then.:dd[/QUOTE]

your case is similar to mine's
better to prepare for next, css examiners are not that much "Merciful"

[QUOTE=Sabah Hunzai;177043]your case is similar to mine's
better to prepare for next, css examiners are not that much "Merciful"[/QUOTE]

aoa i read ur outline,n if im not forgeting something,i did comment on it.i do believe u did miss the essentials in ur outline to mention.unlike when on forum u once post ur outline on terrorism it was good.anyways i want to say that it can be lack of practice as well as pressure,we feel due to exam that we commit mistakes like this.my essay was on same topic as yours,n im confidant n hopeful that i did good job,if not best.remember me in ur prayers.n i ll definatly pray for u:))

@all
pls pls pls dear members help me in evaluating myself.its about sharing the outline on essay reg terrorism,im asking since one week.pls those who atempt the topic help me n share thier outlines.pls.......
regards

@kawish
 

1st u should past ur own outlines then after getting comments u can improve better your skills n thoughts in right direction . it is much better if u like



Regards