*If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

*I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

*I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

*Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.

*Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.

*Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

*A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

*By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong.

*Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have.

*There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

*Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

*There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

*An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

*When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

*Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

*They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance

true

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" Woods are lovely dark and deep But i have promises to keep And miles to go before i sleep "

One thing else is that when you are doing good,good,good and good, you are really very nice and good but if you do just one thing bad or wrong so people forget aaaaaaaaaaaall your goods and remember one bad thing that you did.

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Marwatone.

AA
Coooool man!!!
i really liked all of them...
great yar

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nahin nigah main manzil to justaju hi sahi
nahin wisaal mayassar to arzu hi sahi

Thank you so very much all of you!!!
Will be posting some more 'one liners' soon Inshallah

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I don't give anyone a reason to HATE ME. They create their own drama out of PURE JEALOUSY...!!!

• Anyone in good enough condition to run three miles a day is in good enough condition not to have to.
• Many of us have excellent aim in life, but no ammunition.
• My wife found a way to save her money: she spends mine.
• What this country needs is more leaders who know what this country needs.
• Income tax is the fine you pay for thriving so fast.
• The difference between government and mafia is that one of them is organized.

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I don't give anyone a reason to HATE ME. They create their own drama out of PURE JEALOUSY...!!!

Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

The meek shall inherit the earth.....after we're through with it.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Attempt to get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

There's no future in time travel.

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

A good pun is its own reword.

For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

I have friends who swear they dream in color...It's just a pigment of their imagination.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.

It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs.

Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys

As I said before, I never repeat myself. As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.

Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.

Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.

Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.

Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.

Do not put statements in the negative form.

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Friction can be a drag sometimes.

He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

I couldn't care less about apathy.

Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.

I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.

I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.

If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

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nahin nigah main manzil to justaju hi sahi
nahin wisaal mayassar to arzu hi sahi

Don't you think that there is something wrong with it?

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Regards,
P.R.

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Regards,

Wahab Hussain

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen.

They go to the police station to make a full report.

Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime.

To their amazement, the car has been returned.

There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert.

The note reads, "I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital.

Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star."

Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed.

Valuable goods have been taken from thoughout the house, from basement to attic.

And, there is a note on the door reading, "Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly born kid through college somehow, don't I?"

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Regards,

Wahab Hussain