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  #1  
Old Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Smile Types of computer viruses

Types of computer viruses

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
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  #2  
Old Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Thumbs up awesome one...

you missed out one:

Musharraf Virus: keeps on displaying the following msg:
"Main wardee nahi utaaroonga, not even for Laundry!"





Regards,

THE 1
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  #3  
Old Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Assalam Alaikum,

No wonder why they clear all the Traffic when he comes to Karachi, BECAUSE HE STINKS....HEHE...

Thanks.
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  #4  
Old Tuesday, February 21, 2006
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Default hmm

hello

@ Babban Miyan ... im sorry im no moonch expert ..you can ask adil who is a big fan of your moonch, he might know

@ Faisal .... yes, the Musharraf virus was ignored in it ...

anything else guys
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Old Wednesday, February 22, 2006
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waalaikumsalaam

well mister godoo, as you have mentioned that bush refers to musharraf as his 'reliable' friend then surely musharraf is a virus too ... whose functions faisal & babban miyan have rightly guessed.

tata
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Old Monday, February 27, 2006
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Red face ----new Virus Alert ==== =====very Important ======

----NEW VIRUS ALERT ==== =====VERY IMPORTANT ======

There is a new virus going around, called "work". If you receive any sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague...DO
NOT OPEN IT. Work has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found
that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any "work" at all,
then to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words "Sorry...I'm off to the pub". The "work" should then be automatically deleted from your
brain. If you receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the "work" to your garbage can. Put on your coat and skip to the
nearest bar with two friends and order three pints of beer. After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no longer be of any relevance
to you. Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do not have anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has already
corrupted your life
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