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#1
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
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10 Commandments of Marriage
1. Prioritize Your Partner Over Everything Making your spouse the first priority in your life requires your attention. After years of being a divorce lawyer and watching couples grow apart and divorce, I became frustrated watching couples lose their dreams of a permanent marriage due to their lack of basic skills that we should have learned in kindergarten. Over the last 35 years, the statistics remain the same: 50 percent of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Many of these marriages are good people who have grown apart and look across the dining room table (if they even eat together) and do not recognize the person who sits in the other seat. How does this happen and what can we do about it? 2. Communicate With Your Spouse This second commandment offers four tips on strengthening your communication skills--including the importance of listening. It is almost impossible to share a life with someone with whom you can't communicate. Most relationships that fail are ones where people talk past each other, rather than to each other. How can one meet the needs of the other if they don't know what they are? And, how can you know what they are if you can't hear what's being said because you haven't learned to listen? Finally, what skills must you develop so that your thoughts, feeling and needs are recognized? 3. Make Dates With Your Spouse Lynne’s third commandment suggests ways to get out of the house and get the alone time your relationship needs--without kids! One of the primary reasons people get divorced, unlike what we see in the movies, is that they just grow apart. Husband or wife goes to work; the other person either goes to work or cares for the children. They live separate lives and one day look across the table and don’t even know each other any more. Other relationships have developed at work or the gym that appear even closer than the relationship with their own spouse. How did this happen? Where did the years go? 4. Argue Constructively 5 ways arguments can help build your relationship rather than destroy it. In every relationship there are disagreements. Just because we marry does not mean we give up our own thoughts, opinions or perspectives--it's important not to. We approach things differently for many reasons. For example, stay-at-home parents may see issues in another way than working parents; or religious differences can cause disagreements in a marriage. In every relationship, it is nearly certain that arguments will ensue. 5. Don’t Expect Your Spouse To Be a Mind Reader Speak up, express your feelings and watch your relationship grow. Relationships are difficult. A relationship takes work, compromise and a lot of understanding. Most of all, it takes communication. Just because you’re in love with your spouse doesn’t mean that all will run smoothly. 6. Leave The Baggage At The Door Don’t impose your pre-marital baggage on your new spouse. Let's face it. You're all individuals with your own histories, feelings and responses. That means that each new relationship into which you enter will layer on new histories and feelings and, probably new responses. This "baggage" is something you carry around forever. And, of course, when you marry you bring all your baggage from past relationships to the new relationship. By baggage, I also mean past hurts, happiness and attitudes. 7. Praise Your Spouse Keep the derogatory comments to yourself and instead say something nice. One of the most important things a relationship can and should provide is a supportive, loving atmosphere. What could be nicer than to go home at the end of the day to hugs and appreciation? Appreciation is a two-way street. To make a relationship grow, it should be watered with praise, compliments and thanks from one partner to the other. 8. Resolve Arguments One Issue at a Time Rehashing past arguments will not make the current issue easier to resolve, it will in face make things more difficult. There is a place for the kitchen sink. It belongs in the kitchen, not in any argument you may have with your partner. Many arguments deteriorate into the so-called "kitchen sink" form of argument, which does nothing to enhance the relationship. This commandment requires you and your partner to stick to the subject and not rehash all of the old disagreements that seem to come up over and over and never resolve. 9. Develop Mutual Interests With one commandment to go, the Ninth Commandment states that all relationships must find shared interests in order to survive. Marriage is for life. And life is a pretty long time to live with someone with whom you have no common interest. A couple is usually drawn together by attraction, physical or otherwise, and for the first few months or years that may be enough. Eventually, however, you'll need to embrace your common interests. 10. Make Special Time for Yourself Too often in a relationship, people forget about their own needs. The Tenth Commandment gives you that permission. There is nothing more wonderful than a good solid relationship where you enjoy each other, enjoy spending time with each other, and share common interests. That does not, however, mean that you have to be together all of the time and do everything together. http://www.hitchedmag.com/10commandments.php
__________________
When you try, you risk failure. When you don’t try, you ensure it. 
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Invincible For This Useful Post: | ||
anam047 (Thursday, August 15, 2013), courageneverdies (Friday, December 14, 2012), sabahatbhutta (Thursday, August 01, 2013), venomous sophie (Tuesday, December 18, 2012) | ||
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#2
Thursday, December 13, 2012
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lets Pray
That may God honour us religious, good and kind hearted, Loving, devoted, faithful, loyal, innocent, economist, virgin, beautiful girl having good character. Amin. Summaamin, Ya Rabullaalamin
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#3
Thursday, December 13, 2012
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Quote:
These characteristics & attributes demanded/prayed above must be found in MAN as well, I believe.
__________________
When you try, you risk failure. When you don’t try, you ensure it.
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Invincible For This Useful Post: | ||
canadian (Sunday, May 11, 2014), courageneverdies (Friday, December 14, 2012), maha786 (Saturday, August 03, 2013) | ||
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#4
Thursday, December 13, 2012
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To avoid these 10 commandments follow this one commandment.
Shadi na kerna yaroo. PS I am married 
__________________
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. –Napoleon Hill
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abidkhan (Saturday, August 03, 2013), canadian (Sunday, May 11, 2014), courageneverdies (Friday, December 14, 2012), jaris ojeran (Wednesday, July 31, 2013), qayym (Wednesday, December 19, 2012), saadat110 (Tuesday, December 18, 2012), Stunner (Saturday, December 15, 2012) | ||
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#5
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
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I've always wondered this that why marriage is called a beautiful relationship. There's nothing beautiful in it. People marry for personal gains. They usually find someone 'young' with 'pleasing' external appearance. Who's gonna love you in this material world when you've lost teeth and the lustre of your skin? Marriage is nothing more than a commitment over a piece of paper which allows one to treat and be treated happily as an object.
Love is beyond this all, like that of mother and father / guru and his follower.
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jaris ojeran (Wednesday, July 31, 2013) | ||
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#6
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
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Quote:
well, i wish good luck for your hunt.
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mani g (Saturday, August 03, 2013) | ||
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#7
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
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Quote:
__________________
Work until your idols become your rivals.
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#8
Thursday, August 01, 2013
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its better to get married rather than being alone forever.... after all its an important Sunnah...
__________________
"Whomever Allah guides, no one can misguide, and whomever Allah misguides, no one can guide." Al-Qura'an.
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#9
Thursday, August 01, 2013
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One can touch moon but can not fulfil these ten commandments. shadi se asaan hai CSS kerna
__________________
Everyone Dies But Not Everyone Lives!
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jaris ojeran (Thursday, August 01, 2013), sapphireg (Saturday, August 03, 2013) | ||
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#10
Thursday, August 01, 2013
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Quote:
 If this is the case then why much stress has been laid on marriage and marital love by our Holy Prophet (S.A.W.W). Prophet Peace Be Upon Him once said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." ( Marriage quotation from Bayhqi) At another place, A person asked: "Who is the best woman?" Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam replied: "The best woman is one who pleases her husband when he looks at her, when he asks her to do something she obeys him, and she does not do anything that may displease him with regard to his wealth and honour." Read This: Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "When a woman troubles or displeases her husband in this world, the hûr of jannah that has been set aside for him says: "May Allah curse you! Do not trouble him. He is your guest for a few days. Soon he will leave you and come to me." And This: Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "When a man calls his wife to engage in sexual intercourse with him and she does not go and because of this he sleeps away angrily, the angels continue cursing this woman till the morning." And this also: Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "When the husband calls his wife, she should go immediately to him even if she is busy at her stove." In other words, no matter how important a task she may be busy with, she should leave it and go to him. Isn't it enough?? : Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: "Were I to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband. If the husband orders his wife to carry the boulders of one mountain to the next mountain, and the boulders of the next mountain to a third mountain, she will have to do this." Dear sister, Don't be too grim. Marriage is by no means a piece of paper or just formal document or Nikah nama, rather it is something special that binds a man and a woman in a sacred relationship for the lifetime. Even this relation doesn't end here with the worldly life, rather, they tend to live together too in heavens. A husband also has rights and duties: he should also be soft, kind-hearted, and loving to his wife.
__________________
Man is [a perpetual] Anguish !
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