I have written this comic poem in my university days to welcome the new class of MA English to mock the new ones.

Thrice Welcome, O' you english bamboozle and clamorous owls,
You, that had come with your languorous aims and manial tasks,
You are welcome to this promising place and stamping ground,
Welcome like a bacon sandwich at a bar mitzvah,
Welcome like a flea in bed or as a pole cat at a picnic,
Or as water in leaking shoe and above all you are welcome,
As if you were the much loved family dog,
Who had gone missing for exactly three weeks.

O, you Jammy, goofy, doty, spooky, daffy and dopey,
Or jinx, nitwit, bumpkin, slob, husky, stunning, and toddler nippers,
Aye, what do we call you --- so and so, what not!
Now we will throw a party and you have to whoop it up,
We will well behave to you as a mouse in jar of nut crunch,
You will be staked like a timebeyard or groomed as a cat,
Further you will be well preserved like blackurrant Jam.

Be under the belt of your seniors, whom respect is due upon you,
And remember that you are wheeze who has just won,
A pie eating contest; you have to act like a compressed whispere.
Our guidance will make you innocent like a snow white,
Intelligent like lobotomized; emotional like fish, fresh as fruit,
If you use yourself in mud-slinging and muck-racking against us,
Then you will have to face the music and you will find a recieving end.

I have composed these words and fashioned with diction,
Like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter.
After reading this don't have a wronged feeling like Romeo,
If Juliet had shaved him off the balcony and
Then laughed like stink at his fractured leg.