If only you knew..(a poem about not being able to tell the person you love that you love them)

I guess I cant miss, something that never really took place,
I try to hide my pain, but people can still see it in my face.
Every day I wake up, and force myself to smile,
Cover my face in makeup, and try to convince myself that it’s worthwhile.
My house is still filled, with memories of you,
I try to hold on tightly, but my dreams and sanity are askew.
I close my eyes and rewind memories, that are now a chapter in my past,
I never thought we would be saying goodbye so soon, I thought that we would last.
You never gave me false hopes; I guess I put those in my head,
I guess I was like an open book, because every part of me was read.
It’s so hard to let go, of a love you held so near,
I can’t hold on to much longer, the pain is too severe.
I try to convince my self that the feeling will fade, if only I let you go,
Yet people still tell me, that I really should let you know.
But I can’t let you know what you mean to me, cant let you know about the pain,
But it’s really my own doing; so I guess I cant complain.
But how do you tell someone, that you love them more than words can express?
How do you tell them this, without seeming like you obsess?
Your everything that’s good to me, you are my motivation,
You are the hope that takes away, my fears and my frustration.
You may not feel the same, but I guess I’ll never know,
Yet I’ll come so close to telling you, next time we say Hello.
Then I will freeze again, and pretend that I forgot,
When I know that deep down inside, you know that I did not.
The pain nearly swallows me whole, to let go of your hand,
I’m sorry it has to be this way; this is not what I had planned.
So I guess I will have to force my heart, to detach myself from you,
But still I wonder what you would say, If only you knew.

Pain
Trails of salt down my cheek
Hidden pain as I weep
Tired of feeling this way
Wishing for it all to go away

Why does this have to be
Why can't I be set free
Of this pain that I keep inside
From my soul that has died