QUESTION.Write a Composition using the following opening sentence......Akbar tried to runaway as he could, terrified lest he may be caught red handed.... Marks[30]

ANSWER.
........Akbar tried to run away as fasr as he could,terrifief lest he may be caught red handed.......the opening sentence has a positive as well as a negative side but i would proceed with a positive side beacuse Akbar was a football player and he could run as fast as he could and this was the requirement of a player.He was not a thief .He was a player of an international rank .He won many gold medals and his fellows respected him very much .He worked hard for the betterment of his team.He was a man of determination.courage,and his soul was very pure.He did not commit any sin .He strategy of playing was tremendous .He was not a thief.He was humble.down to earth and very plote in his manners.He got up early in the morning and did whatever was good for his team.He thinked with longfellow who terrified death in the following way

Not enjoyment and not sorrow,
is our destined end or way
but to act that each tomorrow
brings us further than today

He was not a thief.He got immortal fame in this mortal world due to his game.His body was veryfit which is bascially a requirement of an athelet.H terrified lest of death not of being caught re handed.and also thought with longfellow again in the following words

He slept beneath the moon
he baskd beneath the sun
he lived a life of going to do
and died with nothing done

Above all he was feared of death.He did not want to lose his fame.and wanted to maintain his strength and his streangth was his team .Akbar formulated rules and regulations for his team and his team followed his rules and regulations .TO sum up he was a player and not a thief and was a man of character and will and he could run as fast as he could beacuse he was a player.....akbar tried to eun away as fasr as he could.terrified lest he may be caught red handed..... this is just glipms which i ve written in papaer

@ Zeeshan Saleem

Dear Aspirant please don't mind what I am going to write for your expansion.

I couldn't see any logicality behind the reason of assuming Akber as an athlete. If somehow you assume Abker as an athlete or a football player than why you have related that he ran fast due to the reason that he was a player.

And you fully changed the theme of the sentence as it required the reason why akber was afraid of being cought red handed? what wrong he did ? If he did'nt do anything wrong than what was the factor due to which he was afraid of being caught red handed? If it was an accident happened to him?

In spite of the blunder you made, you wrote with a good expression. And I personally think that your constructuion would be good grammatically. And might be this would give you an edge. All the best

And I'll give you 10 out of 30. 10/30

I will quote a verse of Allama Iqbal for you to keep you motivated.

Tandi-e-Baad-e-Mukhalif Say Na GHabra Ay OKaab
Yeh Toh Chalti Hai Tujhay Oncha Uranay Kay liye

__________________
Assistant Security Officer- BS-16
Ministry Of Defence, GHQ.

dear shah ,
what would you make of my self explanatory outline of essay as what i with caliber and context furnish was a rather comprehensive and composite outline with 10 points/strands of essay consisting of 4 to five sentences each and then a collective bottom line, THREE OF THESE STRANDS/POINTS I HAVE WRITTEN IN MY EARLIER POST IN the post ,,, SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE OF PMS. And as i told you i cold go to the extent of four pages in temperately expounding them yet may not have sufficiently entered the real spirit of my outline < as outline itself was was unconventional and non-stereotyped > and it was merely a take-off of the comprehensive explanation that time was finished .
Can i retain some hope to have survived ?? if my delineation of the topic was par excellent yet i could not make a sufficient and comprehensive explanation ?

i am repeating first three of points and stands, these are not word to word to what i wrote in the paper but you can suppose that caliber was the same.

-woman is both ecstasy and ego in the imagination of her male-counterpart, and thus in almost all cultural context she tends to become the ego-alter or ecstasy-allure of her male counterpart which give rise to most intense ego centric relations bearing the imprints of these two extremes.


2-In our religio-ideological aphorism, she is held to have caused the banishment of man from the garden of eden through her wile and enchanter and thus eternally becoming a symbol of a seducer and betrayer, which to me is a value judgement as faith and fidelity in the cradle of love is not the exclusive portfolio of either gender. both default on it and exalt on it in equal measure but only circumstances and role alters.

3-the dilemma and deviance arise from her having ushered in over -subscription of her charm, fancy and desire in false and plagiarized socio-cultural and socio economic circumstance of a society on one hand and her becoming a false ego-alter of male chauvinism on the other complex social and civilizational end

@zeeshansaleem

If only marks are the requirement of this post then I would assign 5/30 for the effort and time put in by the candidate otherwise written stuff doesn’t reflect the original sentence. Candidate has forcefully tried to divert that sentence towards a player / athlete.

Yes, of course there are two sides of everything positive as well as negative. Nonetheless, there should be a sound relation of your composition with the original sentence. I don’t negate your stance that sentence should be taken in positive direction rather I strongly believe in your stance and I always preach this strategy to take things in positive direction. But there are various ways and angles to write on any negative sentence with positive sense which is lacking in your effort. There could be various other relevant positive angles to write on this opening sentence but unfortunately your point of view doesn’t make me happy. Avoid frequent repitition in your composition.

Wish you best of Luck and hope to see an improvement in your thought process while writing on incomplete sentences.

Regards

__________________
"Tumhary nafs ki qeemat Janat hay isy Janat say kam qeemat pey na bechna."
"Jiyo to istarh ky log tum sy milny ko tarsy; maro to istrah k log tumharee mot par royain"

@ Dear Blossomberrry

Actually it depends over the mind of examiner/ paper-checker that how he or she takes your thoughts. But one thing is crystal clear that every essay demands a sizeable lenght. Your outline only gives a comprehensive view of your essay in a compact manner, but the role of explanation is to prove your outlines which has great importance. The second aspect of explanation is to check that how much prolific writer you are and how you tackle the topic and how you reflect your thoughts over paper in form of sentences. In a nutshell I would say that essay means explanation of a topic and if you were unable to expand your essay you did injustice to your essay paper.

All the best

Regards and Reverence

__________________
Assistant Security Officer- BS-16
Ministry Of Defence, GHQ.

I would mark it as 7/30. It is not a good compositon , as the requirement is just marking on composition so i would not comment on it.

thanks to all but plz tell whether i am not able to get zero according to examiner plz dont say it depends on examiner give ur view

5/10!

__________________
Hu$nI --- Need I say more?! :)

I would mark it as 5/30. It is not a good compositon , as the requirement is just marking on composition so i would not comment on it.

sir thanks for being neutral sir plz tell whether this composition would get 4 0r 5 easily and the examiner would nor regard it zero plz dont say it depends on the examiner sshare ur view and consult oit with ur seniors and teachers or the academy where u ve prepared urself i would be thankful to u