[QUOTE=Da Skeptic;506368]Thnkx.. No error?????? It can't be so.. :waiting:waiting[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]I tried my best. It was good according to my little knowledge. Any senior can sort errors out. :) [/COLOR]

Where do u reside these days??

[QUOTE=Da Skeptic;506384]Where do u reside these days??[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="SeaGreen"]I reside in Thatta. I will be living in Jamshoro After 6th January. I think we are not following the rules. Send me msg, there is Id and mob number in my profile. :) [/COLOR]

Alimallah-Zuhaib-and other respected members please check it out
 

Where there is will, there is way

[COLOR="DarkOliveGreen"]We often make our targets for doing some thing good. That we will do our best studies and cover our whole course, will wake up early in the morning for jogging, will do hard work for our job. But often, we do not fulfill our targets. It is because of due to laziness and some other so-called works. Infact, we have strong will power but we are unable to fulfill it in the targeted times. We need to be strict with our targeted plans and have to get them done by any how. As it is said where there is will, there is way. In this regard, some instances can be taken from history. Our legend leaders such as Allama Iqbal had seen a dream for a separate homeland and then he worked for it with outstanding determination. He did not give up from his determinations and will power. Similarly, Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah fought a case for the nation to get a separate homeland and got it succeed. Eventually, Pakistan came in to the world map on 1947. Thus, This is what where is will, there is way. Therefore, we have to work hard and not to give up from our targets by any how. Because where there is will, there is way. [/COLOR]

I have attempted my first expension. Please check it out and point my mistakes so that I can improve. I am sure you will help me. Thanks

it is because of due to laziness is repeatation either use because of or due to. He did not give up from his determinations and will power in this sentence from should be removed and rewritten as He did not give up his determination and will power.

[QUOTE=faixa;506609]Where there is will, there is way

[COLOR="DarkOliveGreen"]We often make our targets for doing some thing good. That we will do our best studies and cover our whole course, will wake up early in the morning for jogging, will do hard work for our job. But often, we do not fulfill our targets. It is because of due to laziness and some other so-called works. Infact, we have strong will power but we are unable to fulfill it in the targeted times. We need to be strict with our targeted plans and have to get them done by any how. As it is said where there is will, there is way. In this regard, some instances can be taken from history. Our legend leaders such as Allama Iqbal had seen a dream for a separate homeland and then he worked for it with outstanding determination. He did not give up from his determinations and will power. Similarly, Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah fought a case for the nation to get a separate homeland and got it succeed. Eventually, Pakistan came in to the world map on 1947. Thus, This is what where is will, there is way. Therefore, we have to work hard and not to give up from our targets by any how. Because where there is will, there is way. [/COLOR]

I have attempted my first expension. Please check it out and point my mistakes so that I can improve. I am sure you will help me. Thanks[/QUOTE]

Sir ZUhaib and other members Kindly check it out

[QUOTE=faixa;506609]Where there is will, there is way

[COLOR="DarkOliveGreen"][COLOR="DarkRed"]We often make our targets for doing some thing good. That we will do our best studies and cover our whole course, will wake up early in the morning for jogging, will do hard work for our job. But often, we do not fulfill our targets. It is [B]because of due to[/B] laziness and some other so-called works. Infact, [/COLOR] [COLOR="SeaGreen"](I think these things are not necessary. In the very first sentence of the expansion , the topic should be hit. Somewhere you have missed it. )[/COLOR] [COLOR="DarkRed"]we have strong will power but we are unable to fulfill it in the targeted times.[/COLOR] [COLOR="SeaGreen"](When one has will power can easily get the way. Will gives an outlet and you say we become unable to get our targets.)[/COLOR] We need to be strict with our targeted plans and have to get them done by any how. As it is said where there is will, there is way. In this regard, some instances can be taken from history. Our legend leaders such as Allama Iqbal had seen a dream for a separate homeland and then he worked for it with outstanding determination. He did not [COLOR="DarkRed"]give up from[/COLOR] his determinations and will power. Similarly, Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah fought a case for the nation to get a separate homeland [COLOR="darkred"]and got it succeed.[/COLOR] Eventually, Pakistan came in to the world map on 1947. Thus, [COLOR="darkred"]This is what where is will, there is way. [/COLOR]Therefore, we have to work hard and not to [COLOR="darkred"]give up from our targets[/COLOR] by any how. [COLOR="darkred"]Because where there is will, there is way.[/COLOR] [/COLOR]

I have attempted my first[COLOR="darkred"] expension.[/COLOR] Please check it out and point my mistakes so that I can improve. I am sure you will help me. Thanks[/QUOTE]
[COLOR="SeaGreen"][B][SIZE="2"][FONT="Arial Black"]
. Try to hit the topic in the very start of expansion.
. You have made your ideas complex. You say we can achieve our targets if we have will power and at other hand you go against your point.
. You have given good examples but these are not well united and chained.
. Try to avoid making repetitions as you have made 'where there is will, there is way.', 'Due to and because'.
. Read the same expansion by Da Skeptic to know well.
. Give quotations to take impressions of reader.
. Bring brevity and coherence.
. Overall good efforts. As it is your very first expansion, it is quite well.
. Keep on writing.

Regards,[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

Thank you Sir Zuhaib. I shall attempt continuously. I will be needing your help. Please help me as I do not have any source except internet. If you keep checking my pieces of writing. I can not give you any thing. Off course you will have my precious prayers.

Waiting for your response :thinking

[QUOTE=faixa;506972]Thank you Sir Zuhaib. I shall attempt continuously. I will be needing your help. Please help me as I do not have any source except internet. If you keep checking my pieces of writing. I can not give you any thing. Off course you will have my precious prayers.

Waiting for your response :thinking[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="2"]Sis, don't call me 'SIR' call me LiL bro. :)
Undoubtedly, I will be checking your expansions. Keep on practising and posting. [B]Other seniors[/B] are also here to guide you well. :)
We don't expect anything from you but Allah.
Feel free to ask anything.

Stay Blessed.[/SIZE][/COLOR]

I really like your sentence Zuhaib bha[B] " We don't expect anything from you but Allah.
Feel free to ask anything. "[/B] Saalam aahe awhan khe ada hin sentence je kare