[B][COLOR="Magenta"]Please check it out and point out my mistakes. [/COLOR][/B]

[B]The [COLOR="Olive"]golden [/COLOR]words of History about Muhammad Bin Qasim[/B]

Muhammad Bin Qasim was a great hero, general, well administrator and a good person. He attacked on Sindhi in 712 AD. His name is written with golden words by the historian on the histories books. The aim of his attack was not his own aim but it was a result of Raja Dahir's cruel act which he had done. Actually, long before the rise of Islam in India, there were trade relations between arabia and selone (modern Srilanka), arab traders usually used to visit coastal areas of south aisa and some other regions. Some Arabs had been died in Coastal areas of the Subcontinent and their widows and orphans wanted to go home back. The ruler of Selon, who had also good relations with the ruler of iraq(Hajaj Bin Yousif), who told them that they could go their home back. Therefore Orphans, widows and some gifts for the ruler of Iraq were going by ships and when they reached near Daibal, they were looted by the pirates of Raja Dahir. When this news was reached to Hajaj Bin Yousif, he immediately sent a letter to Raja dahir in which he demanded his people and gifts back and also wanted cuprits to be punisted. But the Hajaj Bin yousif said him that he had no control on Pirats and he did not know any thing about it and he could not do any thing about that. To listen this news Hajaj Bin Yousif became frustrated and finally after getting permission from the head of Arabia he sent his first expedition to learn a lesson the Hajaj. But his army could not defeat Dahir and were defeated. Again Hajaj bin Yousif sent his another military to crush the power of Dahir but again it was defeated by Dahir. Finnaly, Raja Dahir sent his own well learnt and brave son-in-law, Muhammad Bin Qasim who made his journey and attacked on Sindh with the help of the leader of Makran. He sent his military into two parts, one part was sent by road and another part was sent by sea. Muhmmad Bin Qasim attacked on Sindh in 712 and conqured Daibal fort. At later on he defeated Dahir and his wife. From Sindh to Multan Muhammad Bin Qasim conqured entire region. Unfortunatly, in 715, after the death of the leader of Arabia he was called back and was torchared and finnaly killed.

[QUOTE=faixa;514718][B][COLOR="Magenta"]Please check it out and point out my mistakes. [/COLOR][/B]
Muhammad Bin Qasim was a great hero, general, well administrator, and a good person. He attacked on Sindh[B](i)[/B] in 712 AD. His name is written with golden words[B] by the historian on the histories books[/B][COLOR="Blue"]( in the books of history by the historians).[/COLOR] The aim of his attack was not his own [B]aim[/B][COLOR="Blue"](will) [/COLOR]but was a result of Raja Dahir's cruel act which he had done. Actually, long before the rise of Islam in India, there were trade relations between arabia and selone (modern Srilanka). Arab traders usually used to visit coastal areas of south aisa and some other regions. Some Arabs had died in Coastal areas of the Subcontinent and their widows and orphans wanted [B]to go home back[/B][COLOR="Blue"]( to go back to their homes)[/COLOR]. The ruler of Selon, who had also good relations with the ruler of iraq(Hajaj Bin Yousif), [B]who[/B][COLOR="Blue"]( no need of this)[/COLOR] told them[COLOR="Blue"][B]( who?? Name it) [/B][/COLOR]that they could go their home back[B][COLOR="Blue"]( the same mistake).[/COLOR][/B] Therefore[COLOR="Blue"][B](,) [/B][/COLOR]Orphans, widows and some gifts for the ruler of Iraq were going by ships[COLOR="Blue"][B](.)[/B][/COLOR] [B]and[/B][COLOR="Blue"][B]( no conjunction) [/B][/COLOR]when they reached near Daibal[COLOR="Blue"][B],( no comma)[/B][/COLOR] they were looted by the pirates of Raja Dahir. When this news was[COLOR="Blue"][B](no need of it)[/B][/COLOR] reached to Hajaj Bin Yousif, [COLOR="Blue"][B](no comma)[/B][/COLOR]he immediately sent a letter to Raja dahir in which[COLOR="Blue"](wherein) [/COLOR]he demanded his people and gifts back and also wanted cuprits to be punisted[COLOR="Blue"][B]( restructure it)[/B][/COLOR]. But the Hajaj Bin yousif said him that he had no control on Pirats and he did not know any thing about it and[COLOR="Blue"][B](should be new sentence)[/B][/COLOR] he could not do any thing about that[COLOR="Blue"][B](and said that he was unable to help him out)[/B][/COLOR]. To listen this news Hajaj Bin Yousif became frustrated([COLOR="Blue"][B] This behavior infuriated the Hajaj Bin Yousaf).[/B][/COLOR] And[B][COLOR="Blue"](no conjunction)[/COLOR][/B]. Finally[B][COLOR="Blue"](as a result)[/COLOR][/B], after getting permission from the head of Arabia he sent his first expedition to learn a lesson the Hajaj[B][COLOR="Blue"]( what do you want to say)[/COLOR][/B]. But his army could not defeat Dahir and were defeated[B][COLOR="Blue"]( But his army could not defeat Dahir in the battle of war)[/COLOR][/B]. [COLOR="Blue"][B]Once [/B][/COLOR]Again Hajaj bin Yousif sent his anothe[COLOR="Blue"][B]r( no need of it)[/B][/COLOR] military to crush the power of Dahir but again it was defeated by Dahir[B][COLOR="Blue"]( but all in vain)[/COLOR][/B]. Finlay, Raja Dahir sent his own well learnt and brave son-in-law, Muhammad Bin Qasim who made his journey and attacked on Sindh with the help of the leader of Makran. He sent his military into two parts, one part was sent by road and another part was sent by sea. Muhmmad Bin Qasim attacked on Sindh in 712 and conqured Daibal fort. At later on(meanwhile) he defeated Dahir and his wife. From Sindh to Multan Muhammad Bin Qasim conqured entire region[B][COLOR="Blue"]( restructure it).[/COLOR][/B] Unfortunately, in 715, after the death of the leader of Arabia he was called back and was torchared and finnaly killed.
[/QUOTE]

Although i have checked it critically but still there is a room for more improvements in the draft. you should focus on the structure of your sentences, spellings, and grammar. But you are going good. keep going. :)

[B]Dears members please point out my mistakes and their is need correct it. It is my final end of my essays' paragraph. Please be careful while checking it out in order to point out even a little or slight mistake and correct it. I will be highly thankful to you. [/B]

[B]lPolitical will power and implementation of policies [/B]
Making policies has never been the plight of our government. It is the lack of implementation which keeps the wheel of problems moving. Today our government not only needs to take initiatives and hard decisions, it also needs to give a boost to the dying economy by providing unimpeded supply of power to industries.

[B]Corruption and malpractice[/B]
However, corruption, misuse of funds, malpractices of energy consumption and wastage must be avoided and eradicated at all costs.


[B]Trust Deficit[/B]
Last but not least, the public trust and support is of utmost important. No policy can succeed if it does not enjoy public support. Media can play an effective role in creating awareness and trust that it is actually a global problem which can only be solved with help and conscious effort by every citizen.

[B]Conclusion[/B]
Conclusively, no country is free from Poverty. This problem is present in every country but the winners are those who overcome it. Though Pakistan is currently facing poverty problem but it does not mean that it is going towards its end. Nations face multifarious problems but together they work for towards the solution. The same is the need of hour. Government as well as every single citizen of Pakistan has to play its own specific role to bring about a positive change. Though the task is difficult and time consumer but not impossible. Commitment, trust and hope are the tools to overcome the problems. Well said by Jinnah: "quote".

[B][I][U][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Life succeeds in that it seems to fail[/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/I][/B]

There come ups and downs in life when man looses all his hope.Desires ,dreams ,ambition embodied man `s will whereas sufferings ,miseries and tortures test the trueness of these dreams and desires.These are tested best by quality of being determinant ,resolute and handwork. All of us granted by what we have and receive what we face.When we can get what we want by uninterrupted tries and efforts.As a result ,we get fruit of it like it has fallen from tree in our lap.


The survival for fittest is applied in today world.People become hopeless due to excessive competition .But we have example of Babur-the king, who was deceived by his courtiers and betrayed by his own subject did not loose hope.He had to travel from pillar to post and post to pillar .Ultimately ,he saw spider on the wall falling again and again while resting in the cave. But it did not left its efforts to climb and at last it wins.So he gathered army ,went back to battle.He won when there was no hope to win without much wealth and resources but with courage and will power.


We can win every thing by the wings of courage and will power .These are tested again and again and then we are rewarded according to our suit and metal.No one in this world has to remain empty hands because we are the creature of Allah.who knows what is best for us.

[QUOTE=SADIA SHAFIQ;515052][B][I][U][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkGreen"]Life succeeds in that it seems to fail[/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/I][/B]

There come ups and downs in life when man looses all his hope.Desires ,dreams ,ambition embodied man `s will whereas sufferings ,miseries and tortures test the trueness of these dreams and desires.These are tested best by quality of being determinant ,resolute and handwork. All of us granted by what we have and receive what we face.When we can get what we want by uninterrupted tries and efforts.As a result ,we get fruit of it like it has fallen from tree in our lap.


The survival for fittest is applied in today world.People become hopeless due to excessive competition .But we have example of Babur-the king, who was deceived by his courtiers and betrayed by his own subject did not loose hope.He had to travel from pillar to post and post to pillar .Ultimately ,he saw spider on the wall falling again and again while resting in the cave. But it did not left its efforts to climb and at last it wins.So he gathered army ,went back to battle.He won when there was no hope to win without much wealth and resources but with courage and will power.


We can win every thing by the wings of courage and will power .These are tested again and again and then we are rewarded according to our suit and metal.No one in this world has to remain empty hands because we are the creature of Allah.who knows what is best for us.[/QUOTE]

Good attempt ... Seniors and other members will evaluate your expansion but here I want to say that your writing lacks "imagination" and expansion of some proverb demands it. Good luck! :)

[QUOTE=MisbahMalik;515109]Good attempt ... Seniors and other members will evaluate your expansion but here I want to say that your writing lacks "imagination" and expansion of some proverb demands it. Good luck! :)[/QUOTE]

Then you have to tell what is required. what type of imagination it needs and what should be the content .

[QUOTE=SADIA SHAFIQ;515114]Then you have to tell what is required. what type of imagination it needs and what should be the content .[/QUOTE]

It is simple but at the same time it’s not. Here is an example:

“I saw a boy who had no food and new clothes. He was sad and had tears in eyes”

We can rewrite the above sentence by using our imagination in this way:

“When I came across that poor child I looked at his eyes; there was shine in his eyes but this shine was of salty water”

Hope you get what I wanted to convey.

[QUOTE=MisbahMalik;515120]It is simple but at the same time it’s not. Here is an example:

“I saw a boy who had no food and new clothes. He was sad and had tears in eyes”

We can rewrite the above sentence by using our imagination in this way:

“When I came across that poor child I looked at his eyes; there was shine in his eyes but this shine was of salty water”

Hope you get what I wanted to convey.[/QUOTE]

dear ,you played with direct and indirect form but forgot to replace inverted commas in indirect speech;p:dd

[QUOTE=SADIA SHAFIQ;515123]dear ,you played with direct and indirect form but forgot to replace inverted commas in indirect speech;p:dd[/QUOTE]

Alas! You didn't get ...

[QUOTE=MisbahMalik;515128]Alas! You didn't get ...[/QUOTE]

That`s tragic :p:cry:pp