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seher bano Wednesday, September 04, 2013 08:49 PM

[B]Check this also please.[/B]

[COLOR="Blue"][B]THE WINDS ARE ALWAYS ON THE SIDE OF ABLEST (CSS-2002)[/B][/COLOR]


Edward Gibbon rightly observed that a determined man always shapes his own destiny. He is never afraid of hardships and hurdles rather he looks for an opportunity in every new chance. This is the only reason which leads him to the heights of glory and success. This saying can be proved in the technological advancements of today’s man. The man of ancient time faced with many hardships for a long time. He was ignorant and discarded, but he did not give up; he continuously pondered upon the bounties of the world. He tried a lot to use the blessings of God in this world. Resultant, he made many invaluable inventions possible in shape of airplane, Bullet Train, Computer to name but a few. The man of today’s world flies in the air and has reached up to the moon. What made all this happen was his determination and perseverance. By the same token when America was the colony of Britain, the people of America experienced a bitter tyrannical rule of the monarchs. Britain imposed unfair taxes on the oppressed people of America. They had no say in the affairs of their mother country. They had just to serve their mother county. However, they never gave up and ultimately stood up against that tyranny. They fought for their rights and freedom and compelled Britain to give them independent status. This also happened just because of their determination and courage. No wonder man faces many problems in his life, but brave man never gives up. He always tries to make his goal achievable, because it is the only formula to be successful in this world. [B][COLOR="Blue"](Words 273)[/COLOR][/B]

rayma qaiser Wednesday, September 04, 2013 08:57 PM

kindly check my expansion seniors....
[U][B][COLOR="DarkOrange"]
“Commitment and aptitude as the basis of success”[/COLOR][/B][/U]
To be successful in this world, there is no other way except commitment and attributes of a man. The success which is achieved on the basis of merit sustains long. It cannot be harmed by anyone. Even the successor would not be afraid of anyone. Self satisfaction can be seen on his face and in his behavior. He would be invincible to any hypocrisy or vindictive approach of society. Although people would be jealous of his success but they cannot harm him at all. As aptitude defines itself as “talent” of a person and with the help of determination in his decisions, he becomes a great achiever of the world. Moreover, commitment gives stability in a man’s personality and people trust on his credibility. He becomes the man of his words, who fulfills his promises and stand by his commitments. He may get some jobs of high profile and with his abilities he proves himself as the most apposite candidate for that job. A class of our society always busy in searching shortcuts for the success but meanwhile, they get nothing as there is no another way of success but hard work. Those people who firmly believe that they cannot touch the apex of success without any source or money usually they achieve it by such means but they must face disastrous results in the end. In repercussion, they have to produce something and they do not have ability to do this in real. They face embarrassment in front of everyone. In contrast, those who are recruited on the basis of merit embellish their success with the help of their strenuous hard work and devotion.
As Shakespeare said,
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust on them.” (300 words)

umarabbas Wednesday, September 04, 2013 10:46 PM

[QUOTE=seher bano;645119][B]Check this also please.[/B]

[COLOR="Blue"][B]THE WINDS ARE ALWAYS ON THE SIDE OF ABLEST (CSS-2002)[/B][/COLOR]


Edward Gibbon rightly observed that a determined man always shapes his own destiny. He is never afraid of hardships and hurdles rather he looks for an opportunity in every new chance. This is the only reason which leads him to the heights of glory and success. This saying can be proved in the technological advancements of today’s man. The man of ancient time faced with many hardships for a long time. He was ignorant and discarded, but he did not give up; he continuously pondered upon the bounties of the world. He tried a lot to use the blessings of God in this world. Resultant, he made many invaluable inventions possible in shape of airplane, Bullet Train, Computer to name but a few. The man of today’s world flies in the air and has reached up to the moon. What made all this happen was his determination and perseverance. By the same token when America was the colony of Britain, the people of America experienced a bitter tyrannical rule of the monarchs. Britain imposed unfair taxes on the oppressed people of America. They had no say in the affairs of their mother country. They had just to serve their mother county. However, they never gave up and ultimately stood up against that tyranny. They fought for their rights and freedom and compelled Britain to give them independent status. This also happened just because of their determination and courage. No wonder man faces many problems in his life, but brave man never gives up. He always tries to make his goal achievable, because it is the only formula to be successful in this world. [B][COLOR="Blue"](Words 273)[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE]

:bow commendable! there are hardly any mistakes in the way you put it up. however, I need you to tell me the relation between being able and being determined? A person may be able but not determined or determined yet unable :) think about it and you will find out the flaw with this idea :) Grammatically good, however on wrong footings

engr sarakhan Thursday, September 05, 2013 12:53 AM

Every Cloud has a silver lining
 
kindly check my expansion........
The quotation reflects a reality of life. After a bad time there is always a good time. In the life of a person there comes numerous occasions when he encounters challenging and difficult circumstances but one may see that such conditions remain only for a specific duration of time and after this time span the person may enjoy some good time. So in difficult time one should not get disappointed and one should hope for the best.
If we study the life of Muhammad (PBUH), when He, for the first time, announced openly that he is the last messenger of Allah, the Quraish and most of the close relatives of Muhammad denied the fact. Only a few persons believed Him. The non-believers started teasing Muhammad and his companions and after a short time they were get exiled from Mecca into Abi-thalib,a region near Mecca. The Quraish socially boycotted the Muslims. Every one was directed not to help the Muslims and there were sanctions imposed on the supply of food and other necessary goods to them. This was a very tough time for the Muslims. The Quraish further increased their torture, they did not allow the Muslims for prayer. And the Muslims were compelled to leave Mecca and finally they left Mecca for Madina. The Muslims started leading a peaceful life there, they preached Islam openly in Madina and after a very short time a huge number of people get entered into the circle of Islam. The Muslims get strengthened and they conquered Mecca and this was the end of the bad time and start of golden time for the Muslims. Similarly when a person starts his education, with the passage of time his challenges and work load increases and sometime he gets disappointed due to the exponential increase in the challenges that he faces and hence he thinks that he will always be busy in tackling such type of problems. But this is not the case, after passing through all these difficult stages, he reaches to a point where he is awarded a degree for all that hard work, challenges and problems that he faced. And this is certainly a time for him at which he feels joy and happiness. In short, good and bad time are parts of life. Whenever we are facing a bad time, we should not be disappointed but should hope for the best time and this is also the teaching of Islam.

umarabbas Thursday, September 05, 2013 09:25 AM

[QUOTE=engr sarakhan;645209]kindly check my expansion........
The quotation (use adage. a quote is something that can be traced back to the source) reflects a reality of life. After a bad time there is always a good time. In the life of a person there comes numerous occasions when (where) he encounters challenging and difficult circumstances but one may see that such conditions remain only for a specific (short) duration of time and after this time span the person may enjoy some good time. So in difficult time(s) one should not get disappointed and one should hope for the best.
If we study the life of Muhammad (PBUH), when He, for the first time, announced openly that he is the last messenger of Allah, the Quraish and most of the close relatives of Muhammad denied the fact. Only a few persons believed Him. The non-believers started teasing (persecuting) Muhammad and His companions and after a short time they were get (remove get) exiled from Mecca into (to) Abi-thalib,a region near Mecca. The Quraish socially boycotted the Muslims. Every one was directed not to help the Muslims and there were sanctions imposed on the supply of food and other necessary goods to them. This was a very tough (trying could be used as well) time for the Muslims. The Quraish further increased their torture, they did not allow the Muslims for prayer(s). And the Muslims were compelled to leave Mecca and finally they left Mecca for Madina. The Muslims started leading a peaceful life there, they preached Islam openly in Madina and after a very short time a huge number of people get entered (replace get entered with embraced Islam) into the circle of Islam. The Muslims get (got) strengthened (strong) and they conquered Mecca and this was the end of the bad time and start of golden time for the Muslims. Similarly when a person starts his education, with the passage of time his challenges and work load increases and sometime he gets disappointed due to the exponential increase in the challenges that he faces and hence he thinks that he will always be busy in tackling such type of problems. But this is not the case, after passing through all these difficult stages, he reaches to a point where he is awarded a degree for all that hard work, challenges and problems that he faced. And this is certainly a time for him at which he feels joy and happiness. In short, good and bad time are parts of life. Whenever we are facing a bad time, we should not be disappointed but should hope for the best time and this is also the teaching of Islam.[/QUOTE]

Good Miss. Engr! Splendid work. I have highlighted any grammatical mistakes that I am able to identify (in brackets)

well a tip or two:

-8000+ candidates appear. and there may be 5 expansions (let us assume). So there is an equally probability for the expansions to be attempted (although it will be skewed in reality). So 1600+ candidates may be solving this particular expansion in the paper. There is this fine line between ordinary and extra-ordinary. You have to try to catch the checker's eye/attention. He should like what you have written (like = enjoy reading it).

To get that, you could have used an adage to support this one. For example IF autumn is here, can spring be far behind. This will immediately tell the checker that you know what you are talking about.

Start using clever analogies and lesser of the example: in your case, the example takes more than half of your expansion. I mean (and people are requested to differ) if I am going through your expansion, this is the series of messages that I get:
(1) This is a quotation and pretty much reality of life (I substituted adage here). But an adage is supposed to be a reality :) Anyways a good start because I know that you know that at least this adage is true
(2) Message = After bad times there are good times.
(3) Message = a person MAY enjoy good times after bad times. MAY Enjoy? Miss you are writing in favor of this topic and you should write, WILL enjoy good times.

Till now, you have had me as confused as you were while writing it.
(4) Message = Bad times will be over and one should hope for the best. Why not make a struggle to change things? why wait for the divine intervention?

So the message is: This is a reality of life and there will be good times after bad times. I may enjoy good times after this bad times. during this time all I need to do is hope for the best :)

(5) Quraish Example. Okay they were bad people
(6) Next line = Quraish were bad people
(7) Quraish = the worst zalimeen on the planet.

but how does that relate to what the topic is. It is related to the topic but it could have been covered in a single line. "Even the Prophet SAW faced hardships during the start of his prophet hood but He never lost hope in His cause. He continued preaching regardless of the atrocities by his opponents." or something like that.

So a few important lessons for all us today:
(1) Coherency of Thoughts. The previous line should match this present line in terms of meaning and message (either support it or add substance to it)
(2) Choose the right words
(3) Small examples (just to prove what you have already written. don't turn it an Islamiat paper or an article on history)
(4) Use clever analogies and catchy statements. Reminds me of something from the movie Matrix "Hope, Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength.." !!!

engr sarakhan Thursday, September 05, 2013 03:34 PM

@Ummarabass
thanks ummar bhai for your critical analysis...........
also give us some tips for pushto as you have scored 72 in it......
from where to cover the mcqs??????????
in the above expansion "every cloud has a silver lining", did i missed the central idea???
m i distracted from the main theme of the topic???????
I think the main idea is after bad time there comes good time but should not be disappointed..........

umarabbas Thursday, September 05, 2013 03:40 PM

[QUOTE=engr sarakhan;645374]@Ummarabass
thanks ummar bhai for your critical analysis...........
also give us some tips for pushto as you have scored 72 in it......
from where to cover the mcqs??????????
in the above expansion "every cloud has a silver lining", did i missed the central idea???
m i distracted from the main theme of the topic???????
I think the main idea is after bad time there comes good time but should not be disappointed..........[/QUOTE]

Khoray! you did great and you did not miss the central idea. as far as Pashto is concerned, they will delete your post because it is irrelevant here. So even if you reply, you wont get to see the answer here. Post it in the Pashto section :)

rayma qaiser Thursday, September 05, 2013 06:37 PM

kindly check this one....
 
[B][U][COLOR="DarkOrange"]Revolution Vs Evolution[/COLOR][/U][/B]
In the context of above line, any adventitious change responsible for the makeover of a society is due to revolution. This revolution has influenced many societies and hence resulted in some biggest changes. For instance, the war of independence in 1857, responsible for the emergence of new ideologies which did not exist before. While evolution is a process of gradual changes, which has been under process since the creation of universe. It has been explained by several evolutionists like Darwin and Lamarck. They gave evidences of evolution with variety of examples. It includes the “legs of ancient snakes” and “necks of giraffe”. Some scientists also discussed the formation of universe and presented several theories. One of the most popular theories is “Big Bang” theory. According to this theory, a huge blast was taken place in the universe which resulted in the creation of planets and solar system. It took billions of years to accomplish. The change in man’s behavior, his accession from caves to buildings and beginning of his social life are all the part of evolution. But it took years to give such a drastic change in the life of human being. Nowadays people do not want to rally just on. They want some quick changes in their lives. They take help from revolution. By holding banners in their hands and having some interesting slogans on their lips, they try to bring a noticeable change in their society and somehow, they succeed to achieve their desired destination. Arab springs, middle-east civil war are all the part of these revolutionary campaigns. The universe has produced many revolutionists who brought a total makeover of the world including, Napoleon, Qutub-ud-din Aibek, Mandela, Sir Syed Ahmed Khan, Mohammad Ali Jinnah, Gandhi and so on.
They all believed,
“Better to live in reign in hell than serve in heaven.”

umarabbas Thursday, September 05, 2013 08:59 PM

[QUOTE=rayma qaiser;645122]kindly check my expansion seniors....
[U][B][COLOR="DarkOrange"]
“Commitment and aptitude as the basis of success”[/COLOR][/B][/U]
To be successful in this world, there is no other way except commitment and attributes of a man. The success which is achieved on the basis of merit sustains long. It cannot be harmed by anyone. Even the successor would not be afraid of anyone. Self satisfaction can be seen on his face and in his behavior. He would be invincible to any hypocrisy or vindictive approach of society. Although people would be jealous of his success but they cannot harm him at all. As aptitude defines itself as “talent” of a person and with the help of determination in his decisions, he becomes a great achiever of the world. Moreover, commitment gives stability in a man’s personality and people trust on his credibility. He becomes the man of his words, who fulfills his promises and stand by his commitments. He may get some jobs of high profile and with his abilities he proves himself as the most apposite candidate for that job. A class of our society always busy in searching shortcuts for the success but meanwhile, they get nothing as there is no another way of success but hard work. Those people who firmly believe that they cannot touch the apex of success without any source or money usually they achieve it by such means but they must face disastrous results in the end. In repercussion, they have to produce something and they do not have ability to do this in real. They face embarrassment in front of everyone. In contrast, those who are recruited on the basis of merit embellish their success with the help of their strenuous hard work and devotion.
As Shakespeare said,
“Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust on them.” (300 words)[/QUOTE]

Excellent work! a few grammatical mistakes but that is normal (due to typing and all). One aspect you could have worked upon was that: Aptitude + Commitment = Sustainable Success and that all other combinations (-Aptitude or -Commitment) may bring success momentarily but that is not sustainable. :) anyways Bravo!

umarabbas Thursday, September 05, 2013 09:03 PM

[QUOTE=rayma qaiser;645418][B][U][COLOR="DarkOrange"]Revolution Vs Evolution[/COLOR][/U][/B]
In the context of above line, any adventitious change responsible for the makeover of a society is due to revolution. This revolution has influenced many societies and hence resulted in some biggest changes. For instance, the war of independence in 1857, responsible for the emergence of new ideologies which did not exist before. While evolution is a process of gradual changes, which has been under process since the creation of universe. It has been explained by several evolutionists like Darwin and Lamarck. They gave evidences of evolution with variety of examples. It includes the “legs of ancient snakes” and “necks of giraffe”. Some scientists also discussed the formation of universe and presented several theories. One of the most popular theories is “Big Bang” theory. According to this theory, a huge blast was taken place in the universe which resulted in the creation of planets and solar system. It took billions of years to accomplish. The change in man’s behavior, his accession from caves to buildings and beginning of his social life are all the part of evolution. But it took years to give such a drastic change in the life of human being. Nowadays people do not want to rally just on. They want some quick changes in their lives. They take help from revolution. By holding banners in their hands and having some interesting slogans on their lips, they try to bring a noticeable change in their society and somehow, they succeed to achieve their desired destination. Arab springs, middle-east civil war are all the part of these revolutionary campaigns. The universe has produced many revolutionists who brought a total makeover of the world including, Napoleon, Qutub-ud-din Aibek, Mandela, Sir Syed Ahmed Khan, Mohammad Ali Jinnah, Gandhi and so on.
They all believed,
“Better to live in reign in hell than serve in heaven.”[/QUOTE]

Excellent work again! No need for additions etc (except that Revolution bring benefits and they have their baggage as well). For example: Industrial Revolution :) Evolution is more in line with nature since it is gradual and you have explained that already


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