[QUOTE=exclusively;659765]@ammanan

Thanks dear, you have rightly pointed out my mistakes. I think we can use "but, and, because" in the beginning of the sentence. As it is not a mistake because I read dawn on the daily basis, I have seen most of the time that these are used in the beginning of the sentences. However, I must avoid them to use maximum times, because they disclose a bad impression in diction as you felt. Therefore, I will try my best as much as I can to the level of perfection in the upcoming attempts. Also I will try to use small sentences instead of big ones.

Please keep in touch with us, attempt two or one expansion daily, we need to improve our composition and expansions. In collaboration and coordination we can do miracles in composition inshaallah. These expansions are not fruitful for composition but also for Essay too. If we want kill two birds with one stone, then it is really better to do writing practice as much as we can in expansions, in this way we can improve our written to the level of perfection.

Thanks in anticipation...[/QUOTE]

As you said its allowed to use 'but', 'because' and 'and' when starting the sentence. Its quite true but many of the teachers do not like it and it was also suggested to me by some senior member.
I will try to do more expansions in sha ALLAH, please also have a look on the essay outline I posted on your other thread.
Waiting for your valuable comments there.
Thanks

Please every body evaluate my expansion
 

[B][COLOR="Blue"][CENTER][SIZE="2"] CUT YOUR COAT ACCORDING TO YOUR CLOTH:[/SIZE][/CENTER][/COLOR][/B]
This proverb reflects the notion that a man should not cross his limitations and resources to accomplish his wills and dreams. Wise men are those analyze their capacities and make best use of their abilities, and confine their needs. Those people who are intending to attain their desires and lead extraordinary life mostly suffer. It is no a good way to lead luxurious life by borrowing the money from others to seek the social approval. But it is essential to make balance of both the desires and resources available.
A man whose salary is twenty five thousand and his family's expenditures are more than his family, this type of man will be the victim of the troubles and distress if he do not confine his family expenditures. Similarly if we want to make a coat and go to the tailor, he measures the cloths and if the measurements meet the criteria of the coat, he will make the coat, otherwise he will not, same is the case of ones resources and desires. This proverb merely does not applicable to the man but the business and government policy making strategies too. An organization can raise it business by taking the loan ; if it do not make the balance of the investment and the revenue gained ,if the bank invest more and gain the less it will be bankrupt. Same is the case with the government which may take the foreign aids for the investment to keep continuing the country's development projects. if the government do not make the balance between the investment and revenue obtained , then economy of the country will be deteriorated. In the end it can be inferred that smart are those who are aware of their means and make best utilization of them because their fruits do not get them in troubles unlike those unaware men who to seek the pleasure for limited time undermine their means.

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="4"][B]Please every body evaluate my expansion and figure out the grammatical and interconnection mistakes .
Please dear help me.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

Dear Muhammad Ali your drafting is outstanding, excellent.... superbbbbbbb and of best standard but asper me as i have yet known such a proverb has nt such mean..... it could nt be stated for government but only for a person or family........moreover everyone has his own approach of mind & thoughts....................
Regards

[QUOTE=IRRAJ;663025]Dear Muhammad Ali your drafting is outstanding, excellent.... superbbbbbbb and of best standard but asper me as i have yet known such a proverb has nt such mean..... it could nt be stated for government but only for a person or family........moreover everyone has his own approach of mind & thoughts....................
Regards[/QUOTE]


Thanks a lot dear IRRAJ for evaluating my expansion and helping me . As far as the the government is concerned ,I had seen this example in the explanation of this proverb, given by many people.

Please every body evaluate my expansion
 

[B][COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"]The Nearer the Church Farther from God
[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]
This proverb is the implicit statement which is for those who are the most involved in religious system, and are the organizers and priests. They are perceived the most pious and devoted to God. But they are farther from God with the absence of the true devotion to God. A bond which makes the strong connection to God is the true love. Religion is the name of dedicated relationship between its followers and the God. This relationship is based on the faithfulness to the God. It is not merely to bow down before the God. It is not exclusively to spend days and nights in the worship places. It is all about the bond attachment and everlasting affection which binds stoutly with God. This proverb not solely applicable to the Christians, but it is for all. The nearer from the Mosque farther from the Allah, The nearer from temple farther from the Bhuddha.
Shaitan who was known the greatest worshiper was farther From God. He was worshiper not the lover. A poet said
Molvi tu itni ibadat na kr Ishaq ke siva
per lagta hai tu Ibless se Shaitan na ban jae.
Holy Prophet says "Worship your Lord as if you see Him, if you can not do so, worship as if He see you". Jalal Din Rumi says "without love, worship is burden". Indeed who live in the place of worship, are not pious unless they are lover of God.
At the end it can be inferred that if the God is not present in the heart of the believer though he worships day and night, is farther from the God. The Nearer from God are those in whose hearts God dwells.

[B][COLOR="Blue"][B]Please everybody evaluate my expansion and guide me. please point out he grammatical mistakes and other irreverent.[/B][/COLOR][/B]

Please every body evaluate my expansion
 

[COLOR="Blue"][SIZE="3"][B]figure out the grammatical mistakes and other irrelevant.[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[B][U][CENTER]Self done is well done
[/CENTER][/U][/B]This statement contains the two terms “self done” and “well done”. “Self done” term implies to the intentions and actions that a person performs by his own. The term “well done” refer to the effectiveness and efficiency of these intensions and actions in the organized way. A man is the architect of his own destiny. Destiny and success of the one relies on the efforts, deliberations, ambitions and dedication that one put in action in order to accomplish his goals and objectives of life. But they demand the inner and outer world satisfactions. Satisfactions are achieved when one carry out one’s tasks and work by oneself. Satisfactions groom the one’s abilities, self reliance and confidence which are pivotal in order to survive in the competent and modern society. The self dependent person learns the how to deal with the threats, menaces and disastrous situation. He repolishes his skills and potentials and learns new ways and tactics to deal problems. Our holy Prophet comes on the top of this list. He was used to perform his works by himself.
In contrast to the self sufficient man, a dependent man never thinks out of the box. He would be just like puppet. He will degenerate his expertise and talent. His thoughts and innovations will be limited. He will be unable to handle the problems that he faces in his life. Allay says in the Holy Quran “God help those who help themselves”. Hence the property of being self sufficient and self reliance opens the new chapters in the life of a person where he can write his own destiny.
[COLOR="Blue"][B][SIZE="3"]Everybody analyze my approach...........[/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

Dr saad please evaluate asn assess my expansions.

Please check the paragraph
 

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;451670][B][SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial Black"]I start expansion section, here. If any one is interested, please click the button "thanks".

I shall post five expansions and one will have to attempt one expansion.


Everyone can check, vote and mark anyone's expansion.


Moderators, CSPs and seniors please click the button THANKS for assurance. [/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/QUOTE]

"Rich men have no fault"
The money is an indispensable pillar of the economy.it is considered as the replacement of the respect and has ruined the beauty of the relations.
It has become a trend in the society to go for the financial values rather then moral values.
Money has become the symbol of social status.Achieving a social status means that on has got immunity from having a fault.It is because a rich man has all the
facilities for living an extra-ordinary life.The money is supposed to be the great weapon for hiding the faults.
Being rich man stamps the feel of being respectable.The authority and law in order institutions also salute the one which has money.Depending upon the social setup
and infrastructure ,an environment is itself created by the priorities of the communists in which everyone is busy in making money.Some of the communists are very desperate
and they even use unfair means the get money to enhance their status in the society.In ultimate words they use unfair means to get respect in the society.
The doctrine that a rich man has no fault has also affected the social and religious life of the people.They are also moving away from their religion.The role of media is like adding fuel to the fire.They show in their advertisements that a man with a good car has so many fans and how the people are desperate the become like that man.
We will have to change the routes and motives for the definition of a good person or a person without faults.We will have to identify a new criteria for that in which the moral values are sure to be preserved.We will have to devolpe a new concept in the society that money is not everything and it is the purity of soul that is everything.

[QUOTE=Engrnasirsattar;664373]"Rich men have no fault"
The money is an indispensable pillar of the economy.it is considered as the replacement of the respect and has ruined the beauty of the relations.
It has become a trend in the society to go for the financial values rather then moral values.
Money has become the symbol of social status.Achieving a social status means that on has got immunity from having a fault.It is because a rich man has all the
facilities for living an extra-ordinary life.The money is supposed to be the great weapon for hiding the faults.
Being rich man stamps the feel of being respectable.The authority and law in order institutions also salute the one which has money.Depending upon the social setup
and infrastructure ,an environment is itself created by the priorities of the communists in which everyone is busy in making money.Some of the communists are very desperate
and they even use unfair means the get money to enhance their status in the society.In ultimate words they use unfair means to get respect in the society.
The doctrine that a rich man has no fault has also affected the social and religious life of the people.They are also moving away from their religion.The role of media is like adding fuel to the fire.They show in their advertisements that a man with a good car has so many fans and how the people are desperate the become like that man.
We will have to change the routes and motives for the definition of a good person or a person without faults.We will have to identify a new criteria for that in which the moral values are sure to be preserved.We will have to devolpe a new concept in the society that money is not everything and it is the purity of soul that is everything.[/QUOTE]

[B]Dear you did not get the full idea of the statement "Rich men have no fault". You are somewhat divergent from the main idea. Even you can disagree with me. But what i got from your expansion i told you. Best of Luck. Use simple and relevant words. do not repeat the same words use substitute of the word. [/B]

Handsome is what handsome does. The above proverb is true in its meaning that handsome is what handsome does. Quaid e Azam was a great personality for Muslims of India. He was a hero for the nation. He proved himself handsome is what handsome does. Before partition, the condition of Muslims in India was critical. Muslims were treated with strict attitude by the Hindus and the British. In this scenario, a vigilant person, came and brought a hope for the Muslims. Qaida e Azam fought with brave and courage and got a separate homeland for the Muslims. He proved himself handsome is what handsome does.



It's my first effort plz members evaluate this