Where there is a will, there is a way.

LightWave · #1 Thursday, June 06, 2013

Please evaluate my expansion. It would be appreciated.

Where there is a will, there is a way

Sometimes we try to achieve certain things in life; we may face difficult obstacles in our way, we may fail many times and it would even seem impossible to achieve our goals but if we keep trying with a persistent will and do not lose hope, we would eventually succeed. Our human history is filled with such examples.

The thought of flying was considered absurd and near to impossible but it did not stop the Wright Brothers to keep trying, even though they faced many failures, eventually they invented airplanes. It is because of their persistent will that we enjoy flight today.

During the British Raj in Subcontinent; the thought of Pakistan seemed impossible to achieve but it did not stop our founding fathers to keep trying and eventually succeed. Today we owe our identity to their persistent will
It is our stubbornness and unwillingness to accept defeat that makes us humans so unique and sets us apart from animals. It allows us to achieve amazing feats, such as going into space, walking on the moon, drill through mountains, climb Mount Everest, travel into the deep sea, and make progress which has led us out of caves.

So we conclude we should not let obstacles and failures disheartened us and keep us from trying. With a persistent will we would eventually succeed, like many before us.

khalid hanif · #2 Thursday, June 06, 2013

Always try to avoid repetition of same word many times in your writing as you did "persistent".Apart from that it is nice effort on the whole.keep it up!

Muhammad Hussam Khan · #3 Friday, June 07, 2013

What I believe, when you write something you are bound to write in a way that the audience's mind and attention cannot go out of it, if his eyes even want to be reluctant, mind says "No". Expansion is okay but not hitting the top floor of a person. good luck

behzad hussain · #4 Friday, June 07, 2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by LightWave

Please evaluate my expansion. It would be appreciated.

Where there is a will, there is a way

Sometimes we try to achieve certain things in life; we may face difficult obstacles in our way, we may fail many times and it would even seem impossible to achieve our goals but if we keep trying with a persistent will and do not lose hope, we would eventually succeed. Our human history is filled with such examples.

The thought of flying was considered absurd and near to impossible but it did not stop the Wright Brothers to keep trying, even though they faced many failures, eventually they invented airplanes. It is because of their persistent will that we enjoy flight today.

During the British Raj in Subcontinent; the thought of Pakistan seemed impossible to achieve but it did not stop our founding fathers to keep trying and eventually succeed. Today we owe our identity to their persistent will
It is our stubbornness and unwillingness to accept defeat that makes us humans so unique and sets us apart from animals. It allows us to achieve amazing feats, such as going into space, walking on the moon, drill through mountains, climb Mount Everest, travel into the deep sea, and make progress which has led us out of caves.

So we conclude we should not let obstacles and failures disheartened us and keep us from trying. With a persistent will we would eventually succeed, like many before us.

If i am to evaluate it on the standards of competitive exam like CSS. I think this do not score more then 10/20.
Keep in mind that am just a aspirant with few months of study. My view should be taken as a naive approach and lets wait for some Senior to comment on your expansion

CHEERS

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to khalid hanif For This Useful Post:
LightWave (Friday, June 07, 2013), mahnoor fatima (Tuesday, July 09, 2013)

The Following User Says Thank You to Muhammad Hussam Khan For This Useful Post:
LightWave (Friday, June 07, 2013)

The Following User Says Thank You to behzad hussain For This Useful Post:
LightWave (Friday, June 07, 2013)