Respected seniors kindly evaluate my first ever attempted expansion which I wrote impromptu. It goes like this;

Bad workman complains of tools
The world is composed of two types of people, both falling at the opposite extremes. There are good workers who struggle in the face of all odds and obstacles. On the other hand, there are certain people who do not have the definite sense of direction and greatly lack in following the criteria defined for them. When they end up with little or no fruition for the activities they carried out toward achieving their goals, they blame the externalities and misfortune.

In the realm of the individual development while simultaneously taking an active part in society which is characterized by many evils and heinous crimes, the majority of the people adopt an apologetic attitude that completely freeing one’s soul and body in such unfavourable and dismissive society is an impossible act. Such citizens resort to the same anti-social and anti-developmental acts to fit themselves into the common populace. But the glorious examples of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) negate so-called norms. The Prophet (SAW) developed himself to such a magnificent station in history while living in Arab society which was completely infested with multitude of evils. The Prophet (SAW) remarks, “A Muslim who lives in a society and happily bears the difficulties put in his way is better than a Muslim who shuns society.”

Some people are, by nature, reluctant to work honestly and seriously. They tend to engage in easy and luxuriant ways of getting the same reward. They maintain that if they do not follow the social norms, they would be lagging behind those who are benefitting from engaging in odd ways. With this mental tendency, a student adopts a relaxed and popular strategy of passing the board examination through copying. With utter disregard to the hard work and discipline, he/she incurs a loss in the long-run because when he/she aims to seek an entrance in higher educational institute, where merit reigns, he/she is usually on the back burner. Then the indigenous society further pulls him/her in its grip firm and he/she ends up doing mediocre courses when the world is touching the competitive heights. He/she finds no avenues for employment and becomes a liability on society. In order to conceal the self-destructive adopted formerly by him/her, he/she attributes the failure to the society.

After every transition of government in Pakistan, the current one attributes all failures and wrongdoings to the former government till half tenure, without any interest in forming effective and integrated policies for the future. For the second half of tenure, they overlook the efficacy of their policies and simply resort to make score on issues by staging ploys to make themselves appear attractive for the next tenure. The sum-total of this is the vicious cycle, which Pakistan is experiencing since its birth.

In fact, Fortune favours the brave. Those who own internal locus of control and ascribe their success or failure to their own policies, strategies and acts are the real achievers. They are always honoured. They do not care of the conditions they dwell in because their reward is promised by Allah Almighty Himself in these words, “A man is for nothing but what he strives.”

Well attempted dear. only the matter is that your paragraph contains more than 500 words, you have to make it precise. the more you write to the point the more it will impress,

Thank you dear. You are right regarding its length but I had to sublimate my free time so I wrote it at length and filled two sides of the page without caring for standard length. Thanks again.

confusing dear..you have a very circumlocutory approach..stick to the topic..you should write 250 words..

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cene on hAi dost..