[QUOTE=Innocent Hafeez;1092626][B] Men and machines[/B]
Though science has enriched humans with immense knowledge, they are oblivious of using it for their benefits. They made Machines to serve them. But, instead of getting any advantage, they, like servants, engaged themselves in caring of their instruments, and completing their needs to avoid any damage. Their reliance on these self-made tools was to such an extent that it has enabled them to rule mankind in future. (Words 71)[/QUOTE]

[B]My suggestions:[/B]
1- I think following sentence is wrong and not in context of original paragraph.
"[I] But, instead of getting any advantage,[/I]".
In original paragraph at no place it is written that humans are not getting any advantage of machines. Paragraph is about not proper use of machines.
Instead you can write " [B][I]But, instead of getting desired advantages,[/I][/B]".
2- Word like "[B][I]instruments[/I][/B]" or any replacement of it, is not used in original paragraph. So don't use "[B][I]instruments[/I][/B]".
Instead you can write,"managing them properly"
3- Don't use word "[B][I]tools[/I][/B]". Always focus and write keyword that is "[I][B]machines[/B][/I]". Keyword should not be replaced by any other word

[QUOTE=Saba Arif;1092632][B]My suggestions:[/B]
1- I think following sentence is wrong and not in context of original paragraph.
"[I] But, instead of getting any advantage,[/I]".
In original paragraph at no place it is written that humans are not getting any advantage of machines. Paragraph is about not proper use of machines.
Instead you can write " [B][I]But, instead of getting desired advantages,[/I][/B]".
2- Word like "[B][I]instruments[/I][/B]" or any replacement of it, is not used in original paragraph. So don't use "[B][I]instruments[/I][/B]".
Instead you can write,"managing them properly"
3- Don't use word "[B][I]tools[/I][/B]". Always focus and write keyword that is "[I][B]machines[/B][/I]". Keyword should not be replaced by any other word[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your analysis.
but i have used instruments and tools to symbolize machines as we have to avoid repetition. If you happen to go through any passage of English, you will have seen many synonyms for single word. For example, we use words like poor governance, crisis of governance and some others witin the same passage. But, they convey the same sense as that of the actual topic on governance. You can give your more opinions on this. Plus, kindly check my precis on the previous page

[QUOTE=Innocent Hafeez;1092693]Thanks for your analysis.
but i have used instruments and tools to symbolize machines as we have to avoid repetition. If you happen to go through any passage of English, you will have seen many synonyms for single word. For example, we use words like poor governance, crisis of governance and some others witin the same passage. But, they convey the same sense as that of the actual topic on governance. You can give your more opinions on this. Plus, kindly check my precis on the previous page[/QUOTE]
As far as I know, you need to replace other words in the precis. You cannot replace keywords with other words. Machines is a keyword and it should not be replaced by "tools"or "instruments".

[QUOTE=Innocent Hafeez;1092627][B] An ideal person[/B]
An ideal person spurns smoking and all sorts of bad habits. He speaks to others in mild words. He maintains optimistic views on all issues. He strives hard to promote his unchallengeable ethical ideas, and asks others to reject immoralities. Also, being morally educated, he opposes the appointment of ignoble and corrupt individuals, and demands the concerned elements to protect youth form them. (Words 63)[/QUOTE]

My options:
1- am not satisfied with the precis you made.
2-According to me, you are lacking main ideas of the original paragraph.
3- This passage is about ideal person who is optimistic and avoid bad habits and who is good by his behaviors with other person. He is professional in his work and restrict other people from doing bad deeds. He is hard working and assist other people for good.
4- I will suggest you one thing that make your precis in general. Don't use words or examples given in paragraphs. Just states them generally.

[QUOTE=Saba Arif;1092728]As far as I know, you need to replace other words in the precis. You cannot replace keywords with other words. Machines is a keyword and it should not be replaced by "tools"or "instruments".[/QUOTE]

Ok agreed.

[QUOTE=Saba Arif;1092731]My options:
1- am not satisfied with the precis you made.
2-According to me, you are lacking main ideas of the original paragraph.
3- This passage is about ideal person who is optimistic and avoid bad habits and who is good by his behaviors with other person. He is professional in his work and restrict other people from doing bad deeds. He is hard working and assist other people for good.
4- I will suggest you one thing that make your precis in general. Don't use words or examples given in paragraphs. Just states them generally.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your analysis.
But I have mentioned all that you have described in your 3rd point. Both are almost same. So, how i am lacking main idea. Kindly, shed some light on this. And, if you have precised this passage share it so that i could clarify myself.

[QUOTE=Innocent Hafeez;1092736]Thanks for your analysis.
But I have mentioned all that you have described in your 3rd point. Both are almost same. So, how i am lacking main idea. Kindly, shed some light on this. And, if you have precised this passage share it so that i could clarify myself.[/QUOTE]

[B]Your Precis:[/B]

[I]An ideal person spurns smoking and all sorts of bad habits. He speaks to others in mild words. He maintains optimistic views on all issues. He strives hard to promote his unchallengeable ethical ideas, and asks others to reject immoralities. Also, being morally educated, he opposes the appointment of ignoble and corrupt individuals, and demands the concerned elements to protect youth form them. (Words 63)[/I]

[B]Actually,[/B]
1- You have used some examples and words from original passage such as 'smoking '. Writer was giving more details by adding example of 'smoking '.This is irrelevant to write in Precis. [COLOR="Red"]Please note, in precis you have to skip irrelevant details.[/COLOR]
2- Other thing I noted, is that you are using some sentences from the original paragraph. You just need to comprehend the idea of writer and write in your own words in general.

[QUOTE=Saba Arif;1092891][B]Your Precis:[/B]

[I]An ideal person spurns smoking and all sorts of bad habits. He speaks to others in mild words. He maintains optimistic views on all issues. He strives hard to promote his unchallengeable ethical ideas, and asks others to reject immoralities. Also, being morally educated, he opposes the appointment of ignoble and corrupt individuals, and demands the concerned elements to protect youth form them. (Words 63)[/I]

[B]Actually,[/B]
1- You have used some examples and words from original passage such as 'smoking '. Writer was giving more details by adding example of 'smoking '.This is irrelevant to write in Precis. [COLOR="Red"]Please note, in precis you have to skip irrelevant details.[/COLOR]
2- Other thing I noted, is that you are using some sentences from the original paragraph. You just need to comprehend the idea of writer and write in your own words in general.[/QUOTE]

Ok I understood. But, what i have learnt is that we can use some originals words not all. Still, i will improve my expression.

Suggestion: each one day one!
 

[QUOTE=Saba Arif;1092230]Precis writing group. Post your precis and take part in precis writing.[/QUOTE]

Dear members,
You are requested to practice a precis everyday. For this purpose, one precis from past should be posted and all aspirants can solve and post their attempts for review. So that we can move to the next one.
In this way it will be practice continuously and member will remain on same precis for corrections.
Thanks , hope u like the suggestion

Precis 2002. Let's solve it!
 

Make a precis of the given passage, also give a suitable heading" (20)
'The official name of our species is homo sapiens; but there are many anthropologists who prefer to think of man as homo Faber-the smith, the maker of tools It would be possible. I think, to reconcile these two definitions in a third. If man is a knower and an efficient doer, it is only because he is also a talker In order to be Faber and Sapiens, Homo must first be loquax, the loquacious one. Without language we should merely be hairless chimpanzees. Indeed \vc should be some thing much worse. Possessed of a high IQ but no language, we should be like the Yahoos of Gulliver's Travels- Creatures too clever to be guided by instinct, too Self-centered to live in a state of animal grace, and therefore condemned forever, frustrated and malignant, between contented apehood and aspiring'humanity. It was language that made possible the accumulation of knowledge and the broadcasting of information. It was language that permitted the expression of religious insight, the formulation of ethical ideals, the codification to laws, It was language, in a word, that turned us into human beings and gave birth to civilization.

P.S. this precis is follow up to the above suggestion. Let's break this!