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Please check my essay..
Hello everyone!
I've written essay for the first time, can anyone check it for me? Point me my mistakes, suggestions to improve! PLEASE POINT GRAMMAR MISTAKES ASWELL! Introduction The Founding Father of Pakistan achieved this state democractically and enforcibly. Greviously, destiny did not give enough time to delinate the socio-economic, religious and political chart of newly born country. As first democratic elections were held in 1970, December. There were hurdles and holes to democracy, in which dictators have ruled three times, as country becomes backward economically, state becomes weaken due to political feudalism, illierate people, self imposed leaders and inherited politics are few salient feature. In addition to this, Awareness of rights should be given to voter. so, that any elect-parliament, government officer could not get away by their performance. Therefore, we need reforms of our laws which are outdated, old laws are made 71 years ago, while we are living in 2018. These measures indicates that we need to call an emergency in overall country. (1) Democracy is a cultural rather than a process There are two types of democracy. (1) Direct Democracy: A direct democracy or pure democracy is a type of democracy, where the people govern directly. It requires wide participation of citizens in politics. (2) Representative Democracies A representative democracy is an indirect democracy where soverignty is held by the people representative. which includes liberal and illiberal democracy. (B)Merits and Demerits of Feudalism Feudalism is one of main factors of democracy, since, it is linked with politics. When, there is land own by the land lord, they simply make their laws after that, they join politics to create hold across the country. Once, they are elected in parliament, one have no knowledge of serving their people who elected them. Also there are many cases (i.e) "karo-kari, domestic violence, slavery in which, they are making decisions themself. However it is against the judicial process. Since, all cases including civil, criminal are decided as per law. only judiciary can decide or punish the perpetrators. Therefore, we need to aware public that choose a right leader who can empower them, as they fear of punishment by landlords of that area, which is why public don't go against them. A case study on feudalism *There is a case of ShahRukh Jatoi, known as killer of Shahzeb, son of DSP Police is running freely in public which is against human rights violation. *Mustafa Kinjo son of former federal minister is not convicted due to evidence was admonish by so called investigation officer. Currently, he is clear from all charges. (C)Rights of Voter in Pakistan Rights of voter is given in western democracies of world which is why, they are developed. Their laws are very strict, any voter can question their leader as freedom of speech is given due to that their country is so powerful and established. In Pakistan, one voter is not given right basic right of questioning their leader, when they come to area to ask them for a vote. As far I remember one incident of well known Politician in Shikarpur. One voter asked him about his performance, his reply was "who are you to ask me about my personal" meanwhile, voter replied, I'm the one whos family, who voted your family since centuries. His reply was, "I don't give a damn about your single vote!". This is what people should know and their voting rights so they can be served accordingly. D. Reforms of Laws. E. Foreign Intervention which shows Pakistan is not independent state. F. Socio-Economic Status of Pakistan (1.) Water Scarcity Issue (2.) Terrorism G. Social Media Impacts on Human Lives In Pakistan Conclusion: Pending yet. |
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