hello forum members... this is my first post...i have written an essay...want your honest opinions... your free to criticize if i need to change my style of writing or anything . please let me know

Can women be equal to men in Pakistan?

Equality is a relative term. For every person it has different meaning. Especially if we consider the situation of Pakistan we can find many different meanings of the term equality. So we will first look at the current situation of women in Pakistan. Then I will define what kind of equality is actually required. Then to support the arguments examples from our society will be presented.

So let’s discuss about the current situation prevailing in the country about equality of women. Ask any middle class married guy and he will clamor that women have all the rights in Pakistan; it is the men who suffer. Here is how he will support his claim to show that women are benefiting from the society much more then man are benefiting.

“Women in our society are respected. If there is a long queue of men in the waiting hall and a woman comes then every one gives her way so see can finish her task and go home. In the lecture rooms of college girls have designated seats and they always find the place to sit. Even if a girl is late in the class the poor guy has to vacate his seat for the girl. The teachers in class never scold a girl, all the bashing is reserved for the boys. In the bus we hardly see any women standing, because there too the girls have reserved seats. Even in the CSS exam girls have reserved seats and then they can also compete on open merit.”

Although the claim made is based on facts but the actual situation is quite different. We give way to a girl because we think that she might have to go home early and cook food for her parents. The teachers do not argue with the girl because they know that girls are emotional and sensitive and since they are not going to be in practical job life it is better to treat gently. The image of a woman in the mind of people is that of a mother, wife and daughter. And we perceive that it’s the only best possible image. Because we are ethnocentric, we think that our norms and values are perfect and there is no need to tinker with it.

But this is not equality. Equality in its true sense will be achieved when we are willing to admit that there is some problem in our norms. There is no harm in respecting women but what we need is to give them space in the professional field. If a woman is allowed to work or pursue any career she wants and she is not forced to give up on her dream when she gets married, then equality will be achieved. If there are laws in the organization that allow woman to take maternity leave then equality will be achieved. If we start believing that apart from a mother a woman can be a banker, an engineer, a lawyer etc then a woman will gradually start to find her true, desired status in the society. These facts explain the true form of equality that women are allowed to compete with men in every field.

So can women be equal to men in Pakistan? Well there is every reason to believe it. The stereotype image of a household wife is changing by all the role models we have around here. When Benazir Bhutto became the prime minister of Pakistan many people thought that the emancipation of women had started. But cynics claim that she belonged to the Bhutto dynasty that’s why she was destined to be a prime minister. There is some truth in the claim. So I will not be presenting her as the role model. Dr. Noor-ul-Ain Fatima topped the css exam in 2008. Her story is very interesting and related to our discussion. She was married and she had a five months old son when she started preparing for the examination. Her husband and his family fully supported her, since her son was young so somebody needed to take care of her. Now it was not her mother but mother-in-law who took care of her son. She was allowed to pursue her dream and she is now working in the DMG department. Now again cynics might say that once in a blue moon this happens. But this is not the only case.

Miss X (I forgot her name) lives in Gujrat. Her story was presented on Geo TV. She belonged to an average middle class conservative family. She studied in a government school with meager resources. But then she came to know about the LUMS National Outreach Program. She appeared in the examination and by the dint of her hard work she cleared the examination. Her father initially opposed the idea of joining LUMS because he was uncomfortable about the fact that her daughter will be living in the hostel. But after seeing the passion her daughter for knowledge he allowed to fulfill her dream. So times are changing. If a middle class girl from a far off town cum village can study in one of the most prestigious institutions of Lahore, free of cost then we can expect better things in the future.

Naseem hameed won gold medal in the SAF games. She also belonged to a poor family with little resources but she also had full support of her family and she made her dream come true. Now her winning the gold medal was in itself a very big achievement but the response she received from the different sections of the society was overwhelming. And this shows that people are eventually starting to accept that a girl can do other things apart from looking after the kids in home.

Another important factor that will help women to be equal to men is that there outstanding performance in the examination. From Matric to B.A. examination, every year girls are among the top scorers and sometimes they outshine boys completely. In fact this year Punjab University has constituted a committee to look into the factors of poor performance of boys in the B.A examination. So academically women are equal to men and if we keep on producing the Noor-Ul-Ains and the Naseem Hameeds then surely all the women will get to work in the field they want.

Another important case is of Mukhtaran Mai. Well who would have believed two decades ago that a girl who was raped brutally will be living a comfortable life? In the twentieth century usually girls like Mai were usually abandoned by their families and they ended up in brothels. But she is now running her own girls school in her native town. And she is completely supported in this cause by her husband.

The Pakistan army and the Air Force have also started inducting women cadets. Speaking of the army I would like to present one more example of a prominent defense analyst Ayesha Siddiqa. No one in this country can dare to speak against the armed forces of Pakistan. We supposedly think that their repute is impeccable and no one has the right to tarnish their image. So while the media continues to bash the government for all the bad deeds no one questions the army. But it was Ayesha Siddiqa who wrote a book “Military Inc” in which she claimed that the army was the biggest tax evader in the country. We will not go in to details about the authenticity of the book. My point is that she was a women and she had the temerity to question the most powerful institution in the country.

So times have changed. Globalization and the media have changed the outlook of the society. Gone are those days when women used to curse their fate and sit in homes. Now women know about their rights and slowly they are entering into the mainstream arena. Telenor Pakistan is one of the leading mobile phone operators in Pakistan and it boasts off about its diverse employees. They have burka-clad women as their employees and the same time they have jeans wearing girls as their employees. The point is that they not only hire women, they also hire the conservative women and then they are proud of their diverse culture. That is why they publish it in the newspaper.

We can also see articles and editorials in newspaper that discuss sexual harassment in offices. If only men worked in offices then there was no need to discuss this issue. Because women are entering the field and because they are more aware of their rights that is why these articles are appearing in the newspapers.

Horton says “Change is inevitable in the human society. Sometimes out of boredom and sometimes out of the need whatever the reason may be but change and human society work in tandem.” He further says” All other species can sleep for as long as twenty hours a day when they are not hunting or mating. But human beings are the only species which cannot sleep for so long.” So this suggests that change after all is not that difficult. And our society is changing and allowing women the place they deserve.

However, its good.. But you must add some religious point of views and comparison with developed countries with ours...

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If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?

yes you are right ...actually i just wanted to have views about my writing...any more views from seniors please?

According to my opinion, in a subject like that is not relevent to religion; one should try to avoid radical thinking. In particular place if your context belongs to religion thinking than filter it by writing common points of religions.

yes you are right...anyone else please read it and give your comments?

avoid "I", "LETS" etc.stay to the topic, dont give such an example whr u forgot the source or the name or else handle it tactically. plus give sound examples, quotes, etc dont just rely on common sense. I read about half of the essay but In my opinion i might be wrong but the examiner will not pass this essay.

work on ideas brother!

Hi buddy!
I hope you wont mind a junior aspirant commenting on your essay.
Well i read ur stuff and found it more of general talk or discussive kind of work.
These arguments may work out for in orientation or somewhere else in discussions but when it comes to CSS essay mentordom; i would suggest u to be a bit more formal and serious in your arguments.
As: u frequently used a word I where as it is either mentioned in letters or informal writings, u had better used passive voice like:
"I will Prove some facts" should be changed to "Some facts will be proven"
another thing when the question is pinned out about equal status it demands arguments based on e.g Social, Judicial, Economical, Political, and professional basis as elaborated under the supervision of religious menifesto because Pakistan itself is a state bottom rocked in the ideological differentiation in subcontinent.
regards
Thanks

Hi soloflyer!

With all due respect! Where is the outline? It is really important to draw an outline. Try to dram an outline of your essay now and I will tell you how much you will get for it. I have got 59 marks in my essay.

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What is this?

I would second this responce.I just read ur intro and i m of the view that this essay is in no way up to the mark.