dear all,check my introduction on ''TERRORISM:the biggest threat to pakistan''

The northern areas of pakistan are considered to be one of the most beautiful pieces of work of nature.the lush green lands,along with the majestic mountains present a mesmerizing view.due to its ineffable,spell binding panorama the region has always been a hot spot for tourists,until terrorism marred pakistan's image.today,pakistan stands at the most crucial point of her entire history;various tentacles of terrorism have perplexed the nation.the country has ,undoubtedly,become the epicentre of the menace.the pitiful situation begs the question of ,how the country has arrived at such sorry state of affairs? and ,more importantly,how much has this plague affected the state? the staggering system of the country has been grappling with the demon of terrorism,which has,evidently,uprooted due to various social,political and economic laxity.however,it has not been very late to rectify the mistakes done in past: for that,one has to diligently analyse the germinating, aggravating factors and current predicament of terrorism in pakistan.so that, one could lay down proposals for the way forward.

p.s: ignore the uncapitalized nouns.thanks

Good attempt ) Given the privilege, I will check the format of your introduction advancing my critical analysis.

First your attention grabber is a bit irrelevant as it specifies the threat to Northern areas only, while the terrorism threatens entire country.
secondly, you have taken stand by saying it is big a threat but you did not give follow up, as how it is and how it affected Pakistan: causes, affects and consequences.

thirdly you have made repetitions. one idea repeated, highlighted above.

Moreover It appears that you have something to say but you don't, which is not good. Say it that it is a biggest threat to Pakistan due to this and that for example say that its ideology, politics, values and ideals have been hijacked, and that economy, internal and external security has been destroyed and so on.

Good luck.

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Prejudice is an opinion without judgment. Voltaire my hero