Please don't be disheartened by what I say, but I would start preparing for the next attempt if I were you. This time around, find a teacher who could guide you about relevance.

You have not addressed the topic anywhere in this outline. Points 2 and 3 are totally irrelevant. In the points that followed, you never came out of the Gender studies jargon, and it seemed as if you kept trying to impress the examiner with your knowledge of history of feminism to make up for the lack of your comprehension of the given essay topic. The essay was "feminism is not really a third world issue", not "feminism, its history, and its scope".

You should have clearly mentioned why feminism was not "really" a third world issue. And that was all they required of you.

Thank you for taking time to critique

feminism is not really a third world issue is totally different topic.Every time topic is given in which you discussed condition of third world countries like women empowerment,social economic condition of women ,gender equality.But this time paper setter directly give topic from first world countries.This question already give cue that this problem is exist in third world countries now you discussed first world countries feminism whose feminist always argued that this problem is exist in third world countries.But third feminism not only protect woman from harrasment,rape but they also give much freedom to women by allowing them in prostitution,allowing of sex with other men.Some of third world feminist even claim that prostitution is symbol of women empowerment.You discussed that by giving so much freedom to women rape is common as there is no need of hijab.If you want to read report on rape in united state then you find its on net.They only hit islamic countries that give all right to women even before feminist.However as lack of knowledge of islam and injustice in pakistan these laws is not followed that formed in parliment.I discussed more about this topic in my outline.But main purpose of this topic you wrong the claim of feminist who claim that these problem is only exist in third world countries.It is also argumentative essay.
you didn't adreessed topic in your outline.However in some point you discussed topic like
Common feminist problems in "all worlds" (harassment, glass ceiling etc)


Focusing only on the history and proposition of the second wave of feminism (only on white-women)
this is also valid point in which you discussed that third world feminsim discussed problem of all races of women while second world feminism only give importance to white women especially exclusion of black women now they himself discrimintate women in their feminist theories on basis of races.How they talk about right of women.
Overall you discussed many irrevalent thing.Best of luck for result.

Can you share you outlines please? thanks for the positive comments

AOA ......I can't understand ? why this paper is difficult for you , if you are engaged with I.R and International law.I am really concerned please guide me .Is really these subject give no help to you.
Essay no 1,3,7,9 related to these subjects .

__________________
Success is Sweet , but its Secret is Sweat .

I opted IR in both CE 16 and 17 and the essay I wrote in 16, the one concerning globalisation, as well as the essay this year, brexit one, were very relevant to the syllabus of the course of IR.

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

__________________
Hope is a good thing, may be the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

Guys i`m on this page through the link for English Essay Paper 2017. WHERE IS IT?
Please guide accordingly.

Thanks

Read 1st post of this thread...

__________________
There are TWO ways of spreading light--- to be the candle Or the mirror that reflects it

Please check outline.

More and more military engagements by the UN, is the world moving towards peace?

1. Introduction
More and more military enagements by the UN are pushing the world away from peace and towards a global war.

2. Objectives and Responsibilities of the UN
A. To save succeeding generation from the scoruge of war
B. To maintain international peace, security and Justice
C. To obligate MS to refrain from use or threat of force.
D. To obligate MS to resolve dispute oeacefully
E. To obligate MS to not intervene in donestic jurisdixtion of other MS.

3. UN has failed to achieve its objective and respobsibilities
1. Civilian are being killed ( case in point. Syrian civil war)
2. Use and threat of force goes unchecked ( invasion of Iraq, Kashmir, LOC)
3. Disputes are not being resolved peacefully ( syrian civil war, Afghanistan war, palestine, Kashmire)
4. Intervention in donestic affairs for regime change ( libyan war, iraq war)

4. UNs failure is pushing the word away from peace towards possible global war.
1. Rise in Antagonism between east and west.( refugee crisis emnating from syrian crisis)
2. Emergence of pupalrism in west ( brexit, trump election, lead in polls of right wing nationalist parties in french and italian election)
3. Do not remember
4. Do not remember

5. Need to reform UN to avert the possibility of global war
1. Legislative role of UNGA ( one member one vote)
2. Compulsory jurisdiction of ICJ
3. Scrapping of vetto power
4. Do not remember

6. Conclusion

Note: outline 5.5 pages...intro 1.25 pages.. conclusion .75 page...body 8 pages... total length 13.5 pages... worda roughly 1700...

Please comment.
Thankyou

I think it is .