Extra marital affairs!!!!!!!!

[awaisalikazmi]

An affair is a form of nonmonogamy. The term may be used to describe infidelity in marriage. It may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison. Describing a relationship as an 'affair' may be inaccurate or intentionally damaging. It may or may not involve either or both romance or sex.
Affair has the same word origins as affect an affair implies bonds of affection, but not necessarily so. Some affairs are premeditatively cold. Some exploitative or designed to extract information by stealth. Some are entered into in order to provide the basis for later blackmail. And some are set up in order to provide grounds for divorce in jurisdictions that do not enjoy no fault divorce lawsThat is then referred to as adultery. Affair, in lay and professional usage, does not require any of the parties to be married, though often one is in a committed relationship. Adultery refers more specifically to those in a legal married relationship.
Extra marital affairs are the affairs after marriage or when married people get involve themselves in affairs with other married or non married partner then we call it as extra marital affair.
A very sensitive issue which is spreading like a wild fire in our society and need to be avowed.
What are the reasons behind these extra marital affairs?Below are some,
1.Too much amalgamation of males and females in our society.
2.Arid atmosphere at home
3.A remarkable differnece in age among partners.
4.So called modern and secular approach.
5.Fascination towards false material status.
6.A symbol of dignity among colleagues.
7.An asthete approach.
8.Unfamiliarity to religious values.
If we closely observe our society we come to know that these affairs are getting common among office workers.
An office romance, work romance, or corporate affair is a romance that occurs between two people who work together in the same office, work location, or business. The relationship between affair partners at work can be as wide as intern and president; company CEO and member of the board; supervisor and supervisee; company representative and client; boss and secretary, and so on. And it can be between peers or colleagues at the same level in the organization.A boss always thinks his employee his own property.If she is young,good looking many incentives are offered to her.Without any offical work he wants her presence in the office.Always offering lunch,dinner offer to drop her at home.Advance salaries and many otherthings.There are left only two options for her either to resign or to have an affair.
Office romances are generally believed to be unhelpful to the welfare and effectiveness of the business and to the network of relationships that comprise it. A special relationship could be enough to gain leverage where business opportunities are in short supply. This fuzzy boundary can be nuanced by practiced players in order to provide deniability when required. The usual cover-ups include: 'we're just friends' or 'we were just working late at the office' or 'it was just a conference thing, it meant nothing.
If the affair ends badly it is almost always the least powerful who gives up their job and the more powerful who stays or gets promoted out of the area as a solution. Increasingly employers will insert office romance disclosure clauses in employment contracts. Where the affair or its non-disclosure is in breach of that contract, the clandestine edge is heightened. Perversely this can increase both the excitement of the affair and the later damage to collegiate relationships and the company's good name. A witch hunt can ensue.
Affairs begin one conversation at a time, often without either party admitting to themselves that they intend a deeper connection. 'It just happened' may be the subsequent claim. In fact, the time between a so-called innocent beginning and the private meeting outside in some separate place is very short.This kind of attitude is because wife has grown old not good looking at present some change is must.He used to be an aesthete and in search always.What is the end result either they get marriage or she is married to someone else.
A working lady always under arid atmosphere undergoing assail by husband always.A junior employee to her good looking,young and smart.Whenever she seems tense he used to make her smile.False admiration to her always and ultimately they get themselves involved in an affair.

Well there is an uncle well off very rich I give you his cell number,if you are intrested to get designer’s clothes,jewelery,expensive perfumes and much more.Simply miscall him and then talk nothing more to do.
Whatever are the reasons behind you people agree to me or not but it is a common practice to write down cell number on a tissue paper or anything available at that time and throwing towards a well mature lady in a car adjacent to you on a signal.
It is really very very sensitive issue but by this I don’t mean every married cuple is involved in it but the ratio of people who are involved is not negligible.It is not decreasing but increasing every day.
A decrease in rates of celluar connections and easy access to get cell phones at cheapest prices.Spending our nights in chat corners in search of partner.What happens there,
Asl plz
40 m lhr here
would you like to chat?
Well I like mature males,
No problem at all,we can chat I am 20 f lhr.
Asl
35 f isd
married?
Ya
18 m khi
care to chat plz
this is the start and end result is an affair.
What else are the reasons but these affairs should not be initiated.Outcomes are the increasing number of divorces.murders in the name of honour,spoiling the children who have no fault at all.Anyone involved in these affairs cheats his/her children,husband/wife,breaks islamic values,breaks social and moral rules.
A very simple solution:always be happy and content to what we have and just thanks to Allah.If wife is quarreling just think about children if she is not good looking think about grey hair and growing daughter.What they will think about and how action of extra marital affair will effect their personalities.If husband is strict always scolds not happy with him but just think about children.Leave rest to Allah He at the end will give you reward.
This article is not personal to anyone if I hurted some one I am sorry and I apologize but the issue I have mentioned has no affected basis it is true and most of us know about it.By this I don’t mean females should not work but moral character should be maintained at every cost.Both man and woman must think the after effects if we have strong moral character no one can spoil us.Don’t think of temporary satisfaction also think of life after death.
Regards
Awais Ali Kazmi.

[mindless-genius]

good kazmi sahib

The rule for the extra-marital affairs must be as strict for males as are for females in our society.A wife has to accept a husband having lots of such affairs but a wife is not tolerated in any case.The rules are same for both the genders in our dearest religion islam.

[STRAIN2]

Dear Ali Kazmi
I appreciate the good work being done by you in this forum. JazakAllah!
Regarding the issue you brought into notice, i would like to share one of the best information i've gone through by scholars of Islam.

With regard to protecting our youth and our societies against this evil, it is essential that there be a concerted effort on the parts of nations and societies, on various fronts. It is a communal responsibility, not an individual one. It is not possible to attain the well being of societies without integrated efforts to adopt the means that will protect them against zina and its effects. These means include the following:

1 – Spreading awareness of the seriousness of the sin of zina, and that it is one of the major sins which common sense and sharee’ah agree is abhorrent and haraam; explaining that it is the cause of nations’ downfall and that it brings calamities upon this world, and the punishment of Hell on the Day of Resurrection.

Imam Ahmad said: After murder, there is nothing worse than zina. Ghadha’ al-Albaab (2/435).

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way (that leads one to hell unless Allaah forgives him)”
[al-Isra’ 17:32]

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahmaan al-Sa’di said in his Tafseer (1/457):

Allaah describes zina and its evil as “a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin” i.e., a sin that is abhorrent according to sharee’ah, common sense and sound human nature, because it is a transgression against the rights of Allaah, the rights of the woman, the rights of her family, and the rights of her husband, and it is spreading immorality, confusing lineages and other evils. The phrase “and an evil way” means it is an evil way for the one who dares to commit this grave sin. End quote.

Making the youth aware of the bad effects that result from the spread of this evil, which threatens the stability of families and societies, such as the spread of fatal diseases, the prevalence of illegitimate children, disintegration of the family, children not being cared for properly and having a bad upbringing, increase in the divorce rate, spread of crime and so on. These effects are felt by the societies in which permissiveness in its worst forms is widespread, which could lead to disintegration of those societies and the downfall of those civilizations.

3 – Striving to facilitate the shar’i way to have sexual relationships, which is through halaal marriage, by encouraging marriage and explaining that sharee’ah encourages it, and that it is the way of the Messengers, and that the one who gets married has completed half of religion, and that he will be rewarded for keeping himself and his wife chaste.

4 – One of society’s responsibilities in this matter is to remove the obstacles that cause delays in getting married. So they should address the poverty that may be an obstacle to marriage, and provide the material means to young people who do not possess enough to keep themselves chaste.
In his commentary on the verse (interpretation of the meaning):
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about the state of the people)” [al-Noor 24:32], al-Qurtubi said: Marry those among you who have no spouse, for that is the way to achieve chastity. End quote (12/239).

In the book al-Amwaal by Abu ‘Ubayd al-Qaasim ibn Salaam (251) it says that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez wrote to his governor in Iraq saying: Seek out every unmarried man who has no wealth and if he wants to get married, then arrange his marriage and give charity to him.

5 – The least that societies and parents can do with regard to this important issue is to stop going to extremes with regard to dowries, or showing off and indulging in excess with regard to the expenses of marriage, or trying to acquire wealth from them.

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab delivered a speech from the minbar and said:

“Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood (2106); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

Wise people do not disagree on the point that parents’ going to extremes with regard to their daughters’ dowries is one of the causes of the spread of corruption and immorality in their societies.

Will Durant said, speaking of the spread of immorality in some western societies in some era of history in his book Mabaahij al-Falsafah (The Pleasures of Philosophy) (127-128):

There is no dispute that this is to some extent due to the demands for high dowries made by fathers as the price for their chastity at a time when marriage was, frankly, a commodity to be bought. End quote.

6 – One of the most important means by which societies may ward off the evil of zina is spreading an atmosphere of love between spouses, and striving towards the happiness of families by means of love, respect, sincerity, loyalty, rights and duties, for happy families and loving couples are a means of protecting society from deviation and falling into immorality in search of illusionary happiness.

7 – Finally, it is essential to strive to establish a conservative and religiously-committed environment which is connected to Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, in which wanton display and unveiling are unknown, and in which ‘awrahs are covered, in which alcohol and music, which are the promoters of zina, are forbidden, because these things are the fuel for the fire of immorality, so if the society rids itself of them, it will be safe from that fire.

[Najabat]

@Strain2
Excellent elaboration dear fellow. I just bring readers attention to one point you already mentioned in ur debate that is:
“And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Faahishah (i.e. anything that transgresses its limits: a great sin), and an evil way (that leads one to hell unless Allaah forgives him)”
[al-Isra’ 17:32]
Dear fellows here Allah fobid us come not near to unlawful sex, it reflects even all ways that may lead to this vindictive sin. It is not written like "Do not commit unlawful sex" but words reflect "come not near".So the theme is to avoid all the circumtances that may lead to this sin.Here i also like to mention a Hadees in this regard:-
Rasulullah (SAW) said: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch.”

In reference to extra marital affairs i would like to quote here a Hadees Mubarika to get the intensity of the cruelest sin on earth.

Abd-Allaah ibn Masood (RAA) said: I asked the Messenger of Allaah (SAW), Which sin is worst in the sight of Allaah? He said, To make any rival to Allah, when He has created you. I asked, Then what? He said, To kill your child for fear that he will eat with you. I asked, Then what? He said, To commit zinaa.
(Sahih Al-Bukhaari, Hadith #492 and In Shaih Muslim, Hadith #90).

[dhooka]

g8 work mr kazmi carry on posting such issues....i think we should take advantage of fast growing media in this regard and there must be some drama serials and talk shows to aware the people....

[STRAIN2]

Originally Posted by Najabat

It is not written like "Do not commit unlawful sex" but words reflect "come not near".So the theme is to avoid all the circumtances that may lead to this sin.

Beautifully eloborated. A real point to ponder.

A general question to all forum members in this regard;

1. What are these cirsumstances which lead to this sin?
2. What are the methods then to avoid these circumstances?

Your views will be appreciated.

[an eternal wellwisher]

dear starin2.
you asked what are the reasons behind establishing these sort of illicit affairs. I think these are numerous. I will discuss only a few of them and mainly those concerned with our psyche.
I think feeling of being alone sometimes bring you towards maknig extra martial affairs.
Secondly, May be you woul'nt agree to me in this case but i observed and felt it . Human nature is bascially a restless one .It always wants to quit monotony. Legal marriages contain this factor of repetition. So extra martial affairs are actually , a rebellion and depiction of that basic human instinct. Monotony in any Human relationship affects it and relations demand change and their refreshings after short intervals.
Thirdly, I think Imitation. Media is projecting this sort of trend that establishing these realtionships is not as bad as it used to be . I mean Media is trying to reduce the level of our consciuosness and extent of guilt that stops someone from being astrayed.

Fourthly, your peers, having as many girls as one can simultaneously, do elevate you in the company of your friends. And we all know that girls, the most ever discussed stuff when you are in the company of your friends.
I think I have few others in my mind but i will post them after words. I need suggestions and remarks from all of you . allah hafiz.

[awaisalikazmi]

dear i in my post mentioned that having many affairs at one time is the symbol of dignity among friends .....the point on which we must think is that how to eradicate these problems simple solution is self analysis....we don't like our wives to b stared by others but other people wives attract us same is the case with our sisters if we give proper respect to others we would b able to reduce these problems...

[naumanbj]

Originally Posted by awaisalikazmi

An affair is a form of nonmonogamy. The term may be used to describe infidelity in marriage. It may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison. Describing a relationship as an 'affair' may be inaccurate or intentionally damaging. It may or may not involve either or both romance or sex.
Affair has the same word origins as affect an affair implies bonds of affection, but not necessarily so. Some affairs are premeditatively cold. Some exploitative or designed to extract information by stealth. Some are entered into in order to provide the basis for later blackmail. And some are set up in order to provide grounds for divorce in jurisdictions that do not enjoy no fault divorce lawsThat is then referred to as adultery. Affair, in lay and professional usage, does not require any of the parties to be married, though often one is in a committed relationship. Adultery refers more specifically to those in a legal married relationship.
Extra marital affairs are the affairs after marriage or when married people get involve themselves in affairs with other married or non married partner then we call it as extra marital affair.
A very sensitive issue which is spreading like a wild fire in our society and need to be avowed.
What are the reasons behind these extra marital affairs?Below are some,
1.Too much amalgamation of males and females in our society.
2.Arid atmosphere at home
3.A remarkable differnece in age among partners.
4.So called modern and secular approach.
5.Fascination towards false material status.
6.A symbol of dignity among colleagues.
7.An asthete approach.
8.Unfamiliarity to religious values.
If we closely observe our society we come to know that these affairs are getting common among office workers.
An office romance, work romance, or corporate affair is a romance that occurs between two people who work together in the same office, work location, or business. The relationship between affair partners at work can be as wide as intern and president; company CEO and member of the board; supervisor and supervisee; company representative and client; boss and secretary, and so on. And it can be between peers or colleagues at the same level in the organization.A boss always thinks his employee his own property.If she is young,good looking many incentives are offered to her.Without any offical work he wants her presence in the office.Always offering lunch,dinner offer to drop her at home.Advance salaries and many otherthings.There are left only two options for her either to resign or to have an affair.
Office romances are generally believed to be unhelpful to the welfare and effectiveness of the business and to the network of relationships that comprise it. A special relationship could be enough to gain leverage where business opportunities are in short supply. This fuzzy boundary can be nuanced by practiced players in order to provide deniability when required. The usual cover-ups include: 'we're just friends' or 'we were just working late at the office' or 'it was just a conference thing, it meant nothing.
If the affair ends badly it is almost always the least powerful who gives up their job and the more powerful who stays or gets promoted out of the area as a solution. Increasingly employers will insert office romance disclosure clauses in employment contracts. Where the affair or its non-disclosure is in breach of that contract, the clandestine edge is heightened. Perversely this can increase both the excitement of the affair and the later damage to collegiate relationships and the company's good name. A witch hunt can ensue.
Affairs begin one conversation at a time, often without either party admitting to themselves that they intend a deeper connection. 'It just happened' may be the subsequent claim. In fact, the time between a so-called innocent beginning and the private meeting outside in some separate place is very short.This kind of attitude is because wife has grown old not good looking at present some change is must.He used to be an aesthete and in search always.What is the end result either they get marriage or she is married to someone else.
A working lady always under arid atmosphere undergoing assail by husband always.A junior employee to her good looking,young and smart.Whenever she seems tense he used to make her smile.False admiration to her always and ultimately they get themselves involved in an affair.

Well there is an uncle well off very rich I give you his cell number,if you are intrested to get designer’s clothes,jewelery,expensive perfumes and much more.Simply miscall him and then talk nothing more to do.
Whatever are the reasons behind you people agree to me or not but it is a common practice to write down cell number on a tissue paper or anything available at that time and throwing towards a well mature lady in a car adjacent to you on a signal.
It is really very very sensitive issue but by this I don’t mean every married cuple is involved in it but the ratio of people who are involved is not negligible.It is not decreasing but increasing every day.
A decrease in rates of celluar connections and easy access to get cell phones at cheapest prices.Spending our nights in chat corners in search of partner.What happens there,
Asl plz
40 m lhr here
would you like to chat?
Well I like mature males,
No problem at all,we can chat I am 20 f lhr.
Asl
35 f isd
married?
Ya
18 m khi
care to chat plz
this is the start and end result is an affair.
What else are the reasons but these affairs should not be initiated.Outcomes are the increasing number of divorces.murders in the name of honour,spoiling the children who have no fault at all.Anyone involved in these affairs cheats his/her children,husband/wife,breaks islamic values,breaks social and moral rules.
A very simple solution:always be happy and content to what we have and just thanks to Allah.If wife is quarreling just think about children if she is not good looking think about grey hair and growing daughter.What they will think about and how action of extra marital affair will effect their personalities.If husband is strict always scolds not happy with him but just think about children.Leave rest to Allah He at the end will give you reward.
This article is not personal to anyone if I hurted some one I am sorry and I apologize but the issue I have mentioned has no affected basis it is true and most of us know about it.By this I don’t mean females should not work but moral character should be maintained at every cost.Both man and woman must think the after effects if we have strong moral character no one can spoil us.Don’t think of temporary satisfaction also think of life after death.
Regards
Awais Ali Kazmi.

Good insight,

we must invite others to give suggestions as to how to help stop this, as this alone can be cause of degeneration of the society,

nothing tears the fabric of society, as this , individuals of such societies start hating and stop respecting other (same gender) society members, because of the lack of trust in society,

[naumanbj]

No two non mehrams should be alone under one roof, or in vehacle, which actually is the spirit of islam,