Diary of a Social Butterfly

Call for Change · #1 Saturday, April 16, 2011

Diary of a Social Butterfly

Me and Aunty, we’re not talking. We’ve had a bit of a stiff. It was over her hairloom diamond and emerald choker. You know na, that she always said she’d give it to me? Because she has no daughters and she wants it to go to her own blood, it being her mother’s and all. Well, yesterday we’d gone to her house and Kulchoo had taken her some special diabetic chocolates that he’d seen in Al Fatah. (You are knowing, na, that Aunty has sugar? Anyways, she has.) So you can imagine her reaction.

‘Hai my Kulchoo, my bacha, piece of my liver. You’ve gone so much on me: loving, giving, considerate. Not like some people.’ And then she gave me a sarrhial look. You know, eyes slitted, mouth pursed like a dried apricot. And why? Because I’d refused to send her my maid to die her hair. ‘Stop being kay – oho baba kanjoos – and go to the hairdresser,’ I’d said to her. You know na that she uses Kala Koala and that also number 001, jet black. Her head looks like a crow’s backside. And anyways, my maid was busy shrinking the thirty lawn pieces I’ve bought for my summers wardrope. Daily wears only. So when Kulchoo gave Aunty the chockies, she gave a real sly sa smile and said to him, ‘When you get married, my moon, I’ll give my emerald and diamond choker to your wife.’

‘I don’t want to be a party pooper Aunty but by the time Kulch gets married,’ I said, ‘you’ll be dead.’

‘Why should I be dead? I’m only 65. If Kulchoo gets married in fifteen years, I’ll be 80. And 80 is no age these days. Look at the Queen. Look at Nelson Medallion.’

‘Don’t mind Aunty , but you’re not 65. You’re 73, okay?’

’73 ho gi tumhari maan!’

‘Mummy’s three years younger than you. Even I know that much.’

‘Your mother is a liar.’

‘Haw, Aunty , I don’t think so you should say such horrid, horrid things about Mummy.’

‘I’ll say what I like and I’ll do what I like. I’ll wear my choker myself!’

‘No offence Aunty but on your leathery old neck it will look ajeeb. You know na, boorhi ghorhi laal lagaam?’

‘For your information I have the neck of a swan. Even Bevan Pittman said so,’ she yelled, her eyes blazing, hands shaking. Then I thought, what if she gets heart attack or something even worst? So I quickly calmed her down.

‘Sure, Aunty, sure. You have neck of a swan. An eldery, stuffed swan.’

After that she stopped talking to me. Aik tau she’s become so touchy. Honestly.

hahaha lolzzzzzzzzzz this is really funny

http://www.thefridaytimes.com/15042011/page32a.shtml

striver · #2 Saturday, April 16, 2011

Hahahaha vey nice..
Thanks for sharing...

Shafique Malik · #3 Saturday, April 16, 2011

Its very Funny and nice thing to share

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