Sardar Ji..!



>> A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C.
>> After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for
>> Filling up. U knows y?
>> FORM said " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

>> A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
>> huge Loss.
>> Do u know what the business was? . . . . .
>> He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.


>> Sardar-why r all these people running?
>> Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
>> Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
>> others running?

>> Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
>> Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
>> again twins & named Max & Climax.
>> Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them
>> TIRED&RETIRED!

>> A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
>> in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat
>> him why?
>> He said "SMILE PLEASE"

>> Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
>> into future tense.
>> Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

>> Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
>> tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why
>> he does this.
>> Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."

>> Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
>> mouth................. WHY?
>> because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should
>> be light"_-=

>> Sardarji was filling up application form for a job.
>> He was not sure as to
>> what
>> to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
>> After much thought he wrote : Yes!

>> SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF
>> - I SARDAR,SHE
>> SARDARNEE,
>> THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

>> One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
>> his college.
>> U knw Why?
>> Because he wanted to check where the question paper
>> is leaking...

>> Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
>> Servant: It"s already raining.
>> Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

>> Santa! Your daughter has died!
>> Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
>> At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
>> At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
>> At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

>> Sardar found the answer to the most difficult
>> question ever - What will come first, Chicken or
>> egg?
>> O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

>> A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
>> laughing.
>> A bystander: why are u laughing?
>> Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch
>> network is following me.

>> Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
>> Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax.
>> Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs
>> back.!

>> A teacher told all students in a class to write an
>> essay on a cricket match.
>> All were busy writing except one Sardarji.He wrote
>> "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

>> Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This
>> Packet Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u
>> could have posted it....

>> What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
>> He will compare it with the original for any
>> spelling mistakes.

>> Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder
>> to you'...........
>> Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you
>> NEXT YEAR.

>> WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT
>> EMERGENCY?
>> ** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

>> Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
>> Sardar says... Drink quickly......
>> Wife asks why...
>> sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10


Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa
>> who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like
>> all d passengers in d car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
>> looking thing is what you call modern art ?
>> Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
>> Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
>> Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't
>> read very fast.

Sardar news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard
>> in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500
>> bodies and are still digging for more..


A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
>> walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji
>> replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man
>> says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
>> Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
>> It is 'U R STANDNG ON OXYGEN TUBE!"

Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with
>> his eyes closed.
>> His wife asked what you are doing ?
>> He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.

sardar g with ATM

A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."

ik dafa ik miyan mitho(parrot) aur sardar ji jahaz me ik sath travlel kar rahe hote hai..doono ik dosre se anjan hote hai..miya mitho bout he sharaarte hota hai jab pehli dafa hair hostes pas se guzrte hai to miyan mitho usee tang karne ke liye seti marta hai .hair hostes miyan mitho ko smile de kar guzar jate hai ..3 times aisa he hota hai ..miyan mitho seti marta hai aur hair hostes smile pas kar ke chale jate..sardar ji sath wali seth par betain sab kuch dekh rahe hote hai sardar ji ke zehen me khaya ata hai ke next time main bhe seti maro ga aur hair hos.smile de gai...sardar ji ik dafa aisa he kartain hai aur hair hos.ghuse me dekh kar chale jate hai.dosre dafa bhe aisa he hota hai aur hair hos.ghuse se saradar ji ko dekh kar chale jate hai .ab hota is tarah hai ke miyan mitho bhe sath sath tang kar raha hota hai hair hos.ko hair hos.tang ah jate hai aur pilot ko shakyat kar detain hai..jis par miyan mitho aur sardar ji ko window se utha kar bahir paenk(throw) dia jata hai........miyan mitho sardar ji ko kehta hai .........(in pujnabi) sardar jo udna ata hai....sardar ji reply karte hai ..nai....miyan mitho kehta hai (in punjabi) fir panga kiyon liya sahe

There was a Sardarji

Who was down on his luck?
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put Rs.200,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".
Signed: "A Sardar".
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree. The boy was sitting next to the bag.
Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.200,000 in cash with a note saying: "How can a Sardar do this to a fellow Sardar? Take the money, and please leave my son."
Signed: “Another Sardar”

waheed kesa hyreply to tht wid reference to sardar jeeeeeeeeeee.

thnks

aamerkhattak

__________________
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Engineer Aamer Khattak[/FONT]

> >>>>My dear Jagjit,
> >>>
> >>>I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I'm
> >>>writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
> >>>
> >>>We are not living where we did when you left home. Your dad read in
> >>>the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we
> >>>moved 20 miles.
> >>>
> >>>I am not able to send the address, as the last Sardar who stayed here
>
> >>>took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would
> >>>not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be
> >>>able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address
> >>>will remain same too.
> >>>
> >>>This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
> >>>right above the toilet. But I'm not sure it works too well. Last week
>
> >>>I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
> >>>
> >>>The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The
> >>>first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
> >>>
> >>>The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a
> >>>little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so
> >>>we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
> >>>
> >>>Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
> >>>the grass at the cemetery.
> >>>
> >>>By the way, I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is
> >>>Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in
> >>>his club. We were confused as to which piece we should remove?
> >>>
> >>>Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it
> >>>is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
> >>>
> >>>Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull
> >>>him out
> >>> but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he
>
> >>>burned for three days.
> >>>
> >>>Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill
> >>>his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the
> >>>sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of
> >>>digging a grave for his father.
> >>>
> >>>There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
> >>>
> >>>Love,
> >>>Mom.
> >>>
> >>>P.S : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I
> >>>realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

__________________
Sohail Ahmad

"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. " (Soren Aabye Kierkegaard)

Sardar, sardar and sardar

TO LOOSE WEIGHT...

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had
lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm
2400 kms from home."

HEAVEN

A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told
him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order
to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in
a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word

COLOR TV

Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

LONG FLIGHT

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," comes an answer.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up!

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk:
"Can I take this train to Ludhiana?". "No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks
Gani Singh.

SANTA SINGH AND STUDENTS

Sardar Santa Singhji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned
for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the
inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI"
Santa Singh : " Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him
"What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an
english class and what he is saying is GADHA ,GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE
PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH. The principle too is shocked , Santa
Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for Santa Singh.
Principal : " Santa singhji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA ,
GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA
DESH".
Santa Singh : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students
the spellings of assassination.:- Ass-Ass-I-Nation

THE 4 SARDARJIS

There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of
discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They
selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and
waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed
but noboby turned up.
WHY ? -
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought
the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their
garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought
a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew
past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet
nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there
nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but
alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their
taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi.
They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even
an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the
story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but
the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

__________________
~*~ Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult ~*~ Hippocrates

A Sikh's mother letter

My dear .................. Singh,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the
newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20
miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here
took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not
have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to
take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain
same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated
right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3
shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The
first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little
too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut
them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting
the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash.
He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We
were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is
a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull
him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and
he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. .................. Singh, I was going to send you some money but
by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter

Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji.

Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together One fine day -- the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box.

He says " I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tommorow, I will jump from the 20th floor and die".

Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds Fish in it and says " If I find fish in my lunch box tommorow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die "

Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says " Mother promise, if I find parathas in my box tommorow I am also going to jump from the 20th floor"


Next day the three friends meet in the lunch room for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies.

In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says " I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch "

The Bengali's widow says " I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch"

The sardarji's widow says " I do not " understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch....!!!

sardar jee sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.. When a person askied what he was doing.. He replied.. Oye! higher studies yaar

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

__________________
F-Fun
R-Rational
I-Impartial
E-Emotional
N-Never Ending
D-Dependable
S-Special
H-Heart
I-lnteresting
P-Priceless