Senior Please check my expansion

[Farida Rafique]

Variety is the very spice of life

This phrase comes from William Cowper's poem, "The Task" (1785): It means diversity make life more interesting. Life becomes very interesting when we try different types of experiences. This world is also seems to us very beautiful due to its varieties. Varieties have made this world very colorful. Without varieties this world is so boring and dull.
All people have different hobbies, tastes, habits, capabilities and interest. Due to these varieties World seems to us very interesting and beautiful.
When we try different experiences we have different varieties that make life more interesting and colorful. When we find any experience bitter which make us unhappy then we should try another. In business investment we find that we should not try our all eggs in one basket. Same like it we should try different things and avoid such things which make us unhappy. We should also adopt different hobbies because these hobbies will give us pleasures. Hobbies are something which we adopt in our spare time for our recreation inside and outside the home. Hobbies are the greatest source of giving pleasures by doing a variety of things. So everyone should try to do different things that make life more spicy and colorful.

[xaara~hussain]

Expansion should be to the point!

It really should be an 'expansion of the idea', You kept beating around the bush throughout the expansion.

You need to expand the treasure of your vocabulary, as it seems you are short of words and repeated same words quite many times like experiences,interesting,colorful etc. In the same way, avoid the repetition of ideas.

To give the reference of the quote/proverb is not required and its better if you avoid it.

There was no need to define hobby at all.

A random flow of ideas, not composed well.

The aim of EXPANDING the idea is not fulfilled, so you may end up scoring low.

And please, do your sincere effort. If I am not wrong, you have read an article on this proverb and then changed the text a bit and put it over here. Don't take my words harsh, they are reality. so, if you need any help that I can offer, I am there for you and other members too. leave out GOOGLE when it comes to Precis,Expansion and Comprehension.

[Hamza Salick]

Adding on xaara's comments..I would say u need to work on ur grammar as well..High time

[Fortune]

You have been given sincere suggestion by Xaara; you really need to be creative instead of borrowing ideas and vocabulary from google or from some published articles. There is really no need to mentions source of the topic as it is useless. For expansion and Essay, you must come up with your own thoughts; give them a personal touch. Since you have sufficient time, you should make an attempt and check it yourself then; i assure you there will be much restructuring by yourself even. You would end up with a good piece of writing this way. You should seriously work out on grammar as it would help you in all subjects. Moreover, vocabulary has overriding consideration in composition so, try to build it so that an impression of repetition may not be noticed from your prose.

[Farida Rafique]

Thanks a lot sir, for your guidance but I don't have idea about this topic that's why I read about this topic from google. Next time I'll try it myself.

[samighumro]

After reading your expansion few things are very visible. you have bright ideas and beautiful thoughts. These ideas will further enlighten th.emselves when you will put more stress on grammatical rules and regulations.
Overall, it was a nice piece of writing and i encourage you to practice more

Originally Posted by Farida Rafique

Variety is the very spice of life

This phrase comes from William Cowper's poem, "The Task" (1785): It means diversity make life more interesting. Life becomes very interesting when we try different types of experiences. This world is also seems to us very beautiful due to its varieties. Varieties have made this world very colorful. Without varieties this world is so boring and dull.
All people have different hobbies, tastes, habits, capabilities and interest. Due to these varieties World seems to us very interesting and beautiful.
When we try different experiences we have different varieties that make life more interesting and colorful. When we find any experience bitter which make us unhappy then we should try another. In business investment we find that we should not try our all eggs in one basket. Same like it we should try different things and avoid such things which make us unhappy. We should also adopt different hobbies because these hobbies will give us pleasures. Hobbies are something which we adopt in our spare time for our recreation inside and outside the home. Hobbies are the greatest source of giving pleasures by doing a variety of things. So everyone should try to do different things that make life more spicy and colorful.

[xaara~hussain]

Originally Posted by samighumro

After reading your expansion few things are very visible. you have bright ideas and beautiful thoughts. These ideas will further enlighten th.emselves when you will put more stress on grammatical rules and regulations.
Overall, it was a nice piece of writing and i encourage you to practice more

Dear its not her ideas, these are sort of plagiarized do not appreciate her for this. you should be eye-opening, if you are sincere!

[sharp mind]

Originally Posted by xaara~hussain

Dear its not her ideas, these are sort of plagiarized do not appreciate her for this. you should be eye-opening, if you are sincere!

Xaara but we should appreciate .. becaze as i am also student of intermediate and i started my preparation for css through the academy.

but you r right that we have to sincere ...)

[Hamza Salick]

Originally Posted by sharp mind

Xaara but we should appreciate .. becaze as i am also student of intermediate and i started my preparation for css through the academy.

but you r right that we have to sincere ...)

You have started going to an academy to prepare for CSS during your intermediate?

[sharp mind]

yes i started...................