Everyone! Please take part in Expansions. - Page 31

saggitaurus of karachi · #**301** Friday, September 28, 2012

Speech is the gift of all, but thoughts of few
God has bestowed everyone with the gift of speech. All human beings equally enjoy the freedom of speech. They are unrestricted to express their views, opinions and thoughts. Some are very talkative and usually indulge into rhetoric claims but few have a sense to express their views in brief and commendable language. Speech is very special gift awarded by God, so one should carefully handle it. A Wiseman thinks many times before saying anything. On the contrary, a foolish person without any sense says something which hurt the feelings of others. Speech should be brief and contains deeply-rooted message. One have witnessed the demagogues usually make long and untiring speeches to impress the masses. They often make an ass of themselves by making silly and ridiculous statement openly in the front of media. They faced the music because they often contradict their statements and policies. A few people are rewarded with the gift of gab by nature. They impress people and they left unerasing words of speech on minds of people. Such people admired by every generation of people. For instance, quaid-e-azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah and King Martin Luther were few of them who had awarded with gift of gab by nature. They attract masses with their sensible thoughts and motivate the masses by fluency of their words. Due to their command over language they have been ideal for everyone. Speech is the most beautiful gift rewarded by nature, people should carefully utilize its services by making their communication précis and thoughtful. But it is open secret that only few can command it as it is difficult for ordinary one to carefully handle the speech.

Erum Qureshi · #**302** Friday, September 28, 2012

Dear seniors ,
plz critically analyze my expansion

Da Skeptic · #**303** Friday, September 28, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erum Qureshi

The world has been experiencing evolution since ever. In stone age, man was scare of even his fellow. Later they started to live together leading towards great civilizations. There always have been morals practiced. These morals has also undergone drastic change. In past, scholars and educated people deserved the respect and fame within the community. Rich man, including Kings adored them. But with the passage of time, things got reverse turn. Now in this materialistic era, a man having much money is supposed to be the superior. They are considered to be trend setters. If they wear torn clothes, it is named as a "style". But if the same is practiced by a poor, they get the tag of "contemptible". A rich man does not have any fear of any punishment against committing a crime. On the other hand a mediocre has to suffer from severe consequences for being involved in even less objectionable deed.
This dual standard and hypocrisy has been causing hate among the Haves and Have nots'. Unrest can be observed in the societies ending in the insurgencies.

Well, I found some grammatical mistakes as far as your language and composition is concerned.
Secondly, I couldn't grasp your idea, m sorry to say. I think you deviated from the main theme of the statement.. Kindly give a second thought to your expansion please if you don't mind..
These comments are for improvement not for discouragement.. Take these positive please..

Malik Iqbal · #**304** Friday, September 28, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by saggitaurus of karachi

Speech is the gift of all, but thoughts of few
God has bestowed everyone with the gift of speech. All human beings equally enjoy the freedom of speech. They are unrestricted to express their views, opinions and thoughts. Some are very talkative and usually indulge into rhetoric claims but few have a sense to express their views in brief and commendable language. Speech is very special gift awarded by God, so one should carefully handle it. A Wiseman thinks many times before saying anything. On the contrary, a foolish person without any sense says something which hurt the feelings of others. Speech should be brief and contains deeply-rooted message. One have witnessed the demagogues usually make long and untiring speeches to impress the masses. They often make an ass of themselves by making silly and ridiculous statement openly in the front of media. They faced the music because they often contradict their statements and policies. A few people are rewarded with the gift of gab by nature. They impress people and they left unerasing words of speech on minds of people. Such people admired by every generation of people. For instance, quaid-e-azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah and King Martin Luther were few of them who had awarded with gift of gab by nature. They attract masses with their sensible thoughts and motivate the masses by fluency of their words. Due to their command over language they have been ideal for everyone. Speech is the most beautiful gift rewarded by nature, people should carefully utilize its services by making their communication précis and thoughtful. But it is open secret that only few can command it as it is difficult for ordinary one to carefully handle the speech.

Good Effort

Though I am not senior, but you have make the same mistake which I made in my expansion.It was corrected by Usman Khalid and Zuhaib..... please write it in two or three para's..... not only in single para...

Erum Qureshi · #**305** Friday, September 28, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Skeptic

Well, I found some grammatical mistakes as far as your language and composition is concerned.
Secondly, I couldn't grasp your idea, m sorry to say. I think you deviated from the main theme of the statement.. Kindly give a second thought to your expansion please if you don't mind..
These comments are for improvement not for discouragement.. Take these positive please..

thnx for the analysis. Kindly highlight the grammatical mistakes. It ll help me

usman khalid · #**306** Saturday, September 29, 2012

Some corrections have been coloured:

Quote:

Originally Posted by SADIA SHAFIQ

Rich men have no fault”

Rich or poor both belong to one`s own society .Sometimes poor get status of Rich man and Wealthy one has to submit towards miserable conditions. Humans are made up of flesh and blood. They perform good deeds as well as vices and crimes. It is obvious when someone gets extra power or wealth above average, gets mad for misuse of power and wealth. However, above criteria is not valid in all cases. Life on this planet proceeded on the principle of selflessness. These wealthy esteemed people worked for humankind. So, It is not the wealthy status rather man`s own nature responsible for his fault.

(In above para, you have used past tense instead of present in some sentences.)

Bill Gates, Abdu’s Sitar Eidehi and Imran khan`s welfare schemes are most recent examples of wealthy people, serving humanity. On the other hand, we have example of Hazrat Bahuddin zikriya Multani(R.A) who had a lot of wealth .But he used it for humanity. However, history also tells us most of the Rich people misused their wealth .Like Jews, who introduced interest on wealth in Makkah. So man `s own nature is liable to faults, not rich ones.

Human society has suffered a lot due to man`s ambition to get unlimited power and wealth. Richness is not inherited status rather it is ascribed status. It is generalized; rich people do not follow folkways and mores .It is because society has few rich and more poor. Obviously, they will more observe the poor ones .Man `s nature is full of faults, not the richness ascriptions.

(No need to capitalize the first letter of words; rich, poor and wealthy etc.)

usman khalid · #**307** Saturday, September 29, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by SADIA SHAFIQ

'’Self done is well done’’

Expansion of an idea from 2012 CSS paper of Precise and composition

Aristotle said,’ Man is a social animal’’.It implies man is dependent on others. Reliance is good because it bonds the members of particular society. However, it should be restrained for productivity of individuals. (meaning is not clear) It enables oneself to survive in bitter circumstances. So for survival, one will have to tackle the situation under his mind`s control. Moreover, person are able to reproduce innovative ideas, unknown to anyone .Sometimes, it leads towards inventions and discoveries.

Anthropologists point out the significance of Self-effort and creativity has developed civilizations .And (a new sentence with 'And'??) parasitic life destroyed their marvels. Historians pin point this theme in its relation to Kings .Those(no comma required here) who managed in miserable environment are the reputed ones. Akbar, Richard, Saladin, Mahmud Ghaznavi and most of all The Holy prophet (P.B.U.H) are the world recognized leaders .It is just of their self-work and hard work. Therefore, it glorifies the theme of self-work.

All the inventions and discoveries are the hallmark of this criterion. Holy Quran also lights on this theme, describing the man who earns wages by dint of his hard work as a friend of Allah. Muslim civilization in its culmination worked on the principle of,” Necessity is the mother of invention. So they rationalize laws creating field of ‘’asul’’ or ‘fiqa’ .They Euro-civilization borrowed the principle of Muslim civilization .Their achievements have made them world greatest power of 19th century.

According to Iqbal,

Celebrated they were, embracing Islam.
Derogated you are, negating these.

Last but not the least it is acknowledged self-work is universally known(meaning is not clear) .People are remembered for their countless efforts. Therefore, these people are followed as models.

Good! Make sure that you make grammatically correct sentences with proper structure.

Da Skeptic · #**308** Saturday, September 29, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erum Qureshi

The world has been experiencing evolution since ever. In stone age, man was scare of even his fellow. Later they started to live together leading towards great civilizations. There always have been morals practiced. These morals has also undergone drastic change. In past, scholars and educated people deserved the respect and fame within the community. Rich man, including Kings adored them. But with the passage of time, things got reverse turn. Now in this materialistic era, a man having much money is supposed to be the superior. They are considered to be trend setters. If they wear torn clothes, it is named as a "style". But if the same is practiced by a poor, they get the tag of "contemptible". A rich man does not have any fear of any punishment against committing a crime. On the other hand a mediocre has to suffer from severe consequences for being involved in even less objectionable deed.
This dual standard and hypocrisy has been causing hate among the Haves and Have nots'. Unrest can be observed in the societies ending in the insurgencies.

In the first highlighted word, u have used a singular noun , man, and in the second sentence you have used a plural pronoun, they.. You have done the same error again in the following sentences..
You should say the poor, not a poor..
No need to put an apostrophe after nots in Have nots.

Erum Qureshi · #**309** Saturday, September 29, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Da Skeptic

In the first highlighted word, u have used a singular noun , man, and in the second sentence you have used a plural pronoun, they.. You have done the same error again in the following sentences..
You should say the poor, not a poor..
No need to put an apostrophe after nots in Have nots.

thnx...
u r right..i made these blunders...n i think i should write more consciously to avoid such mistakes.
kindly tell me about the length of expansion..means on A4 paper would it enough to write 1 side only?

Da Skeptic · #**310** Monday, October 01, 2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erum Qureshi

thnx...
u r right..i made these blunders...n i think i should write more consciously to avoid such mistakes.
kindly tell me about the length of expansion..means on A4 paper would it enough to write 1 side only?

Huzuur, Its length ranges from 250-350 words approximately..

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The Following User Says Thank You to saggitaurus of karachi For This Useful Post:
Da Skeptic (Friday, October 05, 2012)

The Following User Says Thank You to Da Skeptic For This Useful Post:
Erum Qureshi (Friday, September 28, 2012)

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to usman khalid For This Useful Post:
SADIA SHAFIQ (Sunday, September 30, 2012), zuhaib ahmed (Wednesday, October 03, 2012)

The Following User Says Thank You to Da Skeptic For This Useful Post:
Erum Qureshi (Saturday, September 29, 2012)