#41
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#42
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Regards. |
#43
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1. Sold. You have written Sailed which is a blunder. The very first sentence possesses an unavoidable mistake. Don't forget; first impression is last impression.
2. Is looking. 3. Who is shivering. 4. Every facility. 5. Sentence highlighted doesn't give good sense. 6. You should use Engulfed By. These were a few grammatical mistakes. Any senior can catch more. I would suggest you to precise your words. Try to use present indefinite tense when you present any descriptive scene. 7. one of the biggest. 8. Problems. 9. For. 10. in Pakistan nearly one third population is under the poverty line. 11. cannot. 12. Children 13. With. 14. Cannot 15. Do not start any sentence with AND. 16. it. 17. degrees are putting. 18. It doesn't give complete sense. 19. of the history? 20. Has announced. 21. has come. 22. who are not utilizing it. 23. cannot 24. who do. 25. NGOs 26. it Seems incorrect sentence. Construct it again. 27. bound. 28. Omit THE. 29. Besides. 30. Do not start any sentence with AND. 31. Here BESIDES doesn't seem good. 32. By. 33. Example? 34. Has been looted by. 35. Having seen or while seeing. Crying like a WOLF? What does it mean? 36. disclosed by and are under the process of. 37. In-front of. 38. Besides. 39. No need to use here AS WELL.... 40. boosted . 41. Connect the former sentence with WHERE... 42. Sort 43. All are not being patriot or all are not having patriotic approach. 44. Besides. 45. It. 46. Terrorists. 47. MOST IMPORTANT? most deplorable. 48. themselves 49. Omit to be. 50. Don't start any sentence with AND. If I am wrong any senior can make me correct. Regards, |
The Following User Says Thank You to zuhaib ahmed For This Useful Post: | ||
ssara (Saturday, November 10, 2012) |
#44
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Thank you brother for pointing out my mistakes. There are also a lot of typo mistakes which you have pointed out. I will attempt it again. Thanks.
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#45
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I let you know, in many places you are mistaken.
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#46
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That is why I have said in my post any senior can make me correct.
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#47
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The nation's poverty rate is as high as it's been in almost two decades. Last year, 1 in 6 Pakistan was poor - more than 46 million people, including 16 million children. But on the campaign trail, the issue of poverty has received surprisingly little attention. When he first ran for president, Our leaders went to a low-income neighborhood in Balouchistan. and spoke passionately about hunger and poverty.
"The problem is that when politicians talk about jobs, they don't talk about how they're going to reach the most vulnerable people who have been out of work for the longest time. Anti-poverty advocates say they're especially disappointed because they think Zardari has a very good record to run on. They credit him with keeping millions of additional people out of poverty during the recession with stimulus spending on things such as expanded tax credits for low-income families, unemployment insurance and food stamps. And they note that his health care law will extend Medicaid coverage to millions of additional poor people. |
The Following User Says Thank You to malaksaahab For This Useful Post: | ||
ssara (Saturday, November 10, 2012) |
#48
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@ssara
your introduction of the essay seems more a news story rather than an introduction of the essay or it seems as a beginning of the political talk show. The things you discussed in introduction should be discussed in consequences or effects of poverty. Moreover, while giving the causes you discussed consesquences also which should be discussed separately. You should be to the point and precise while attempting an essay. There are lot of grammatical mistakes as mentioned by zuhaib. You should work on these mistakes. hopefully you will get rid of these mistakes and get good marks in essay.
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Success is never achieved by the size of our brain but it is always achieved by the quality of our thoughts. |
The Following User Says Thank You to Taimoor Gondal For This Useful Post: | ||
ssara (Saturday, November 10, 2012) |
#49
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Introductions to topics: practice samples
I have made up my mind to post here the introductions to topics I practice. It will not only expose my practice to scrutiny and criticism, which will guide me in the right direction but will also help the novice writers is getting an idea of how to write an introduction. Comments will always be cordially received.
Here we go........... Dialogue is the best course to combat terrorism. Introduction: Terrorism is an enormous threat to humanity today. It is essential to combat it. It can be combated in two ways: through force or through dialogue. Force is the naked us of weapons. It can suppress the terrorists; it will force to hide themselves but it will not disarm them. It is, therefore, the last resort. Terrorists can be disarmed through dialogue only. The dialogue encompasses diplomatic intercourse, social reconciliation, economic incentives and political integration. The terrorists have demands. Force does not address them. Only dialogue can. Consequently, we need to have faith in dialogue as the best course to combat terrorism.
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Beware of wolves. |
#50
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United Nations: achievements, failures and future
United Nations: achievements, failures and future
Introduction: The organisation of the United Nations is the clothing of the noblest dream of humanity, a dream of global unity and cooperation. It has evolved asa global moral force. It has existed as a sanction and authority behind international laws. It has provided a platform for dialogue and intercourse on international issues. It ended colonization and de-legitimized naked intervention. It has stood up against slavery, child labor and injustice to immigrant workers. But the list of failures of UN is deplorable in the same degree. It has failed to implement its core objectives: international peace and security and cooperation. It has witnessed genocides, dictatorships and nuclear proliferation but failed to prevent them. Palestine imbroglio is stark exposition of its impotence. But assessing the role of UN in these respects is tantamount to ignoring the fact of its creation. It was not prepared for the onerous roles we expect it to undertake. It was made for the Western and North American nations, yet has earned the respect of all nations. Its role must continue. For this, reform of the security council is necessary. Only after internal reforms can the UN meet its current challenges. Otherwise, it may be reduced to a nominal global organization.
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Beware of wolves. |
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