Sir, i have to ask that how much an essay is penalised for irrelevant material if the question has been completely answered.
I wrote my essay on women sportspersons as the new ambassador of soft image of pak. My stand on this was: women's participation in sports is more or less the extreme form of liberty which arises out of the socio-politico-economic rights that have been given to them. It, thus, reflects the gender equality in a society. I also mentioned in essay that women can participate in sports only if they are entitled to free will. I answered the question completely, but then shifted on problems of women sportspersons. I tried to correlate them by writing in last that the problems of women persons should be resolved so that a soft image of pak can further be projected. I am, however, not satisfied with my essay.
Kindly analyse it and give ur invaluable suggestions so that i can avoid this mistake in future.

Sorry brother i saw your query late. Well I am not an English professor or something but while preparing for CSS i came across this one tip. let me put in simple words.

As far i can recall, the topic was: The women sportsperson are the new ambassadors for promoting soft image of Pakistan.

I don't know how you approached it, but the stress should be on promotion of soft image (like whats a soft image? what is Pakistan's image abroad? how can the women sportspersons improve it? and the of course the SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) to women sportspersons).

Take any essay topic and underline the important words in it:

Can women be equal to men in Pakistan? Discuss only equality in the context of Pakistan. Define equality and highlight how you want to discuss it.

What are the socio-economic securities for women in Islam.

The women sportspersons are the new ambassadors for promoting soft-image of Pakistan

The essay should always revolve around the main points and the other examples can be given to support your arguments.

i hope I am clear enough on this.

Sorry.. to completely answer your query. Remember it is easy to explain a topic in 50,000 words than in 500 words. secondly, the irrelevant material may drown your relevant points. During the exam you may never know that you are venturing away from the main topic. So one should try to be concise and relevant. It will also reduce the grammatical and spelling mistakes

__________________
Umar Abbas Babar
I Know I am Bad But When Bad is the Best, Bad is the Only Choice

Thanks alot for ur input sir. Infact, women in sports is a post-modern theme, and if a country pemits its women to participate in sports, it reflects that almost a highest form of gender equality is there. My stance proved quite right when re-exam was taken in karachi. An essay was given there in the paper which title was " women in sports-a challenge to be cope with."
Sir, my query is about the "problems of women sportspersons," and if it could be quoted in essa. I would be very much thankful for your next reply.

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winners never quit, and quitters never win.

of course it can be quoted. one of the possible outlines could be

(1) Introduction
(2) What is a soft image?
(3) What is the image of Pakistan abroad? (This is where you put the gender thingy in it)
(4) How does the women sportwomen improve the soft image of Pakistan?
(5) What is the current scenario (opportunities, threats, strengths, achievements etc)
(6) What can be done further?
(7) Conclusion

__________________
Umar Abbas Babar
I Know I am Bad But When Bad is the Best, Bad is the Only Choice