Here I would say,not just exceptions, both men and women should be forgiving as Allah Almighty likes forgiving persons. but only If a sinner is found guilty and ashmed.

Quote:

Human psyche differs from individual to individual. Recently we watched on the TV, a guy from Sialkoat marrying two girls, both his cousins. They were invited to a talkshow and the wives seemed happy and said again and again that they had no issue sharing one husband etc.

It is no doubt rightly to say that there is a great diversity in human psyche, but Quranic ruling is not for exceptions but applicable to all and sundry, whatever his/her psyche is.
If a man wants to go for second maarriage, he would not probably care for thinking of whether his first wife will accept it or not. If some women would accept their husband's sharing with other women, many would not.
And in the above mentioned case, don't forget the surrounding circumstances of those girls and that why did it happened so.

Yeah, no doubt, polygamy is a part of their culture, and u quoted a good example of it, but don't overlook the marriage norms, women rights and requisites that a man has to fullfil in their society.
Before demanding that acceptibility in our society, a lot of other changes are needed and until we manage to adopt those as well, we should not mere refer to such things.


I think if a husband fulfills the rights and needs of his wife and then legitimately go for second marriage, no objection and resistense would arise at all.
Allah Almighy is our creator and knows all ins and outs of our psyche. His defined rulings can not be faulty in any sense or at any time.
Problem arises only when we try to manipulate His rulings according to our ease and desire, ignoring the core of His message.

He gave the permission of polygamy alongwith its prerequisites. Don't take this issue in isolation.

Ahhh ............ yadish bakhair yeah musharraf dor ki baat hay jab hadood ordinance pay bahas chal rahi thi or Qazi Hussain Ahmed nay haqooq e niswaan bill kay khilaaf Lahore ta Gujraat long march ka elaan kya tha. unhi dino The News main aik article aya jis ki akhri line thi kay qazi sb ko lahore ta gujrat nahi balkay mansoora ta heera mandi march karna chaheye. main nay plan kya kay qazi sb karain na karain main to karo ga.

raat 11 bajay ka time or main akeela. 11 no ki van say taksali stop pay utra or right side wali sarak pay chalnay laga jahan tillay kay juto ki market hay. kuch agay ja kay chowk pay fazal e haq siri paye ki dukaan hay jis kay left pay aik street hay jissay tibbi gali kahtay hain.

gali main bhut ronaq thi jaisay koi bazar ho. dono taraf kay gharo ka drawing rooms ki bari bari windows open thi or her kamray main 6 ya 7 larkiya or un ka sath bathay harmonium or tablay walay saaf nazar aa rahay thay.

itnay main aik shakhs nay mujhay roka or ahista say poocha. Larki chaheye? i said bilkul chaheye. sath main aik ghar ki stairs thi. wo mujhy oper aik kamray main lay gya jahan aik moti say aorat baithi thi. us kay bulanay pay 6 ya 7 larkyan kamray main aa gai. us nay mujh say poocha kay konsi pasand hay. main ghbra gya laikin himat kar kay main nay us ki taraf ishara kar di jo sab say choti lag rahi thi or jis ki eyes coloured thi.

uskay baad paiso pay bahas shuru hoi or lar lar kay 900 pay baat settle hoi. phir us larki kay ilawa sab bahir chalay gaye. us nay darwaza band kya or chup kar kay sofa pay baith gai.

main nay usay salam kaha or bataya kay main nay usko kion choose kya. phir main nay us say poocho kay wo yeah sab q karti hay. us nay gussay say kaha kay tum say matlab tum jo karnay aye ho karo. main nay kaha jee kuch batain poochni hay or us kay paisay bhi diye hain. wo boli bato kay paisay nahi diye. main nay apna purse us ko pakraya or kaha 10 rupay karaye kay chor kay baqi sab rakh lo. kul mila kay 37 rupay us kay hissay main aaye jo us nay tanzia andaaz main hanstay hoye wapis rakh diye.

Phir main nay us say pocha koon ho kahan say aai ho kya karti ho kion karti ho. us nay naam to bata diya jo mujhay bhool gya hay laikin or kuch na bataya. ab mujhay gussa anay laga. meray khiyal main ussay mujhy aik filmi hero ki tarha imporatance daini chaheye thi laikin us kay mizaj hi nahi mil rahay thay. She was taking it as a routine matter. Tou akhri harbay kay tor per kay shaid ab yeah mujhy kuch value day main nay usko purpose kya laikin is pay bhi usnay kaha kay sorry i am already married.

waisay i still don't know agar wo haan karti tou main kya karta.


And apki baqi batain agli post main but i think rage nay already kafi ka jawab day bhi dya hay

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He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

Dear one I was here to defend monogamy and criticize polygamy but I'm disappointed with your comments.
Rage! If you are of the view that Quranic instructions are for all and sundry and diversity of thought should not be a matter then why don't you accept polygamy with an open heart? If women in Africa, Arabia and India can live with it why shouldn't you? Because the Quranic verses are for all and sundry and no exceptions right?
And what "INTIMATE SINCERITY" are you talking about? Your creator when allowed polygamy, HE did not attach the string of "INTIMATE SINCERITY" with it rather he attached rights and obligations with it and HIMSELF declared that one cannot divide his heart among wives and that should not be an issue if other rights (bread, shelter, financial security etc BUT NO INTIMATE SINCERITY) are fulfilled.
Its a known fact that our dear prophet pbuh had relationship with many wives but he loved Hazrat Aeysha alone and he had confessed it (intimate sincerity) and Allah sanctioned it and you know it. So you should have no problem if a husband loves one wife from the core of his heart. That does not make him a sinner because Allah Almighty has allowed it and as you said HE is the creator of you women and if HE allowed polygamy then HE knows very well what women deserve. There is no shame in Islam, let me tell you that the prophet pbuh slept more with Hazrat Aeysha (when he decided to divorce one of his wives, she requested not to be divorced and that she won't mind her "turn of sleeping/courtship" given to Ayesha, which the prophet accepted and did not divorce her.) That clearly shows that how much the prophet pbuh was intimately sincere with Ayesha R.A alone.
As far as polygamous men are concerned, whether they fulfill their rights and obligations or not, is a matter with Allah and for HIM to decide in the life hereafter. But for life over here, HE has allowed polygamy in clear and transparent words. Bear it! Your creator knows what you don't about yourself.
Islam is the same for the whole world. Then why a woman in UAE considers polygamy as an opportunity and why are you raising questions against it? Islam is same for you both, where lies the difference then? Say it yourself and you will help bring down my rage.

I believe jab abu jahal nay yeah ayat suni ho gi tou us nay bhi yeahi kaha ho ga.

Meray or tumharay main wo nisbat na sahi jo Prophet of abu jahal main thi laikin wo zaroor hay jo Ranjhay or Kaido main thi

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He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

Let me solve your misconception regarding Arab women:

Divorce study in Saudi Arabia
A study in Saudi Arabia has concluded that the practice of allowing men to marry up to four wives is the principal cause of divorce in the Kingdom.

The report from the sociology department of King Saud University in Riyadh said that the Saudi courts grant between twenty-five and thirty-five divorces a day, with most occurring in the first three years of marriage.

The study also found that most divorced women had married under the age of twenty.

The report also said other common grounds for divorce were interference by other family members and age difference.

__________________
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

i am afraid that debate is getting personal....

Firstly @rage

this applies to women as well though they may not be in majority yet.


I am smelling bit of bias in your statement. Man is not the only one to be blamed here. Its the society that needs to be blamed for this attitude. Don't forget women are also part of this society and participated their level best in this male dominating thinking.

Here is a great need to differentiate between two things Islam and society. Islam has provided us all the prerequisites for a healthy society. We as part of society pic things of our interest(including men and women). Same is with the case of polygamy and you have very rightly summed up in other posts:

and

but i tend to disagree with this part,
such things can be referred as a source of inspiration and we can start work to reach that goal though its a long way to go and we are far behind. But at least start something. However demanding that much acceptability is also not fair. it will take time...


@witchdostor
almost same things you talked in the following paragraph just the way is different. In fact it is an elaborated form, you talked about various implementations...

now, about your question...

you already have answered it saying:

I am sure women from Pakistan must be having different oppinion.. and you have stated reason above.

I want to add something, quranic verses ARE for all and sundry now if somebody in America or India or Arabia follows or somebody in Malaysia doesn't its an issue of perception, brought up, environment etc. You must be knowing there are many things in our constitution but we dont follow. Does that nullify the constitution??? Islamic rulings are part of our constitution and its for all and its part of our emaan.


then

i think its two rude to say such a thing. Its right that natural inclination was more towards Hazrat Aa'isha but he also loved other wives.

again too rude and bit personal as well...

very wrong i must say....you are talking about Hazrat Soda(RA). She herself gave her right to Hazrat Aa'isha(RA) because of her old age to my knowledge. Can you give me the reference???

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....."O my Lord! Open for me my chest (grant me self-confidence, contentment, and boldness); "And loose the knot (the defect) from my tongue, (i.e. remove the incorrectness from my speech)"That they understand my speech; And ease my task for me."(surah 20, ayaah 28).
Aameen....

why are so many men, apart from few, in favor of Polygamy? i agree its allowed in our religion but there are some conditions as well then why do people tend to overlook the conditions?

Brother i wanted to say something wo ye k if there is no love between husband and wife then it'll increase the number of broken houses and don't you know that the only Halal thing disliked by Allah is Divorce.

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"Do not look down upon any Muslims, perhaps Allah will forgive them for their ignorance, but punish you for your arrogance"

Dear Rainy! I am sorry if you INTERPRETED my comments rude.
Here is the link where you will find about Hazrat Soda R.A.
http://www.sahilonline.net/news.php?...npage&nid=3397
And as for your information age has got nothing to do with relationship. No matter how old a woman gets, she does seek company, comfort and care from her partner more than she needed it in her youth. Its a fact that widows have comparatively shorter life-spans than the wives accompanied by their hubbies. Same goes for widowers. Sense of loneliness, nostalgia, despair and lack of care and affection in old age do add to the cause of lower life expectancy. Being a woman you should know better than I about the tenderness and delicacy of feminine feelings, the need for emotional security and inner cravings for belongingness. In old age a woman needs more of that. Right?

And my comments in the previous post! Actually you won't find them rude if you read my 1st post and the naive and implausible criticism showered upon it by the woman Rage.
I did my best to make it understood that our mental and genetic make-up, our ophthalmic, auditory, tactile, olfactory and gustatory perceptual inputs, our immediate environment-- all have their roles in defining our ultimate psyche, our thought pattern, our reasoning capability and understanding capacity. THAT THE WORDS OF GOD ARE SAME BUT THEIR INTERPRETATIONS COULD BE DIFFERENT. Even the translations of Quran by the great scholars like Yusuf Ali, pickthal and Shakir are slightly different from each other. Each scholar gave the translation according to his own knowledge of the Arabic and English language, understanding, perception and imagination and intention. For example let's study the translation of the following simple verse from Surah Fatiha about Siraat-e-Mustaqeem:
001.006
YUSUFALI: Show us the straight
way,
PICKTHAL: Show us the straight
path,
SHAKIR: Keep us on the right path.
Now you can see the difference in words. And ladies and gentlemen different words mean different meanings, different perceptions and so on. The first two translators are asking God to show us the straight path/way while the 3rd translator is asking God to keep us on the right path (implying that as if we already are on the right path being born as Muslims MashAllah!).
Let me elucidate further. Synonymous words carry different connotations. WAY is never the same as PATH, and STRAIGHT could never be what RIGHT could be. WAY could be an attitude, a habit, a flaw as in this sentence where a father admonishingly shouts at his impudent son: MEND YOUR WAYS! YOU MORON.
A lover would say about his beloved: she has sweet ways.
If a css aspirant in islamabad asks his teacher to show him the STRAIGHT WAY to CSA then a wise teacher is supposed to reply like this: There are two ways leading to CSA: One way is to get books, guidance, tips and tricks, work hard and get through CE examination and that way get into CSA. Another way is to straightaway fill your car's fuel tank or buy yourself a Daewoo ticket to lahore and travel all the way on the motorway, reach lahore, find Walton Road and reach CSA.
There is a hell of a difference between the two ways mentioned above.
Now come to STRAIGHT and RIGHT. Both words are synonymous but their shades of meaning widely differ. A RIGHT path could be straight but a STRAIGHT path is not necessarily RIGHT. As a matter of fact the right path, the path of God Almighty is mostly twisted, tortuous, difficult (as its said that practising Taqwa is like walking barefoot on a thorny path). While a straight path implies the shortest route-- as the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. The path to Almighty is never short or easy or plain rather it takes courage, will, determination, sacrifice, compassion to walk that path. if it were an easy path, everybody would be treading it.
All the 3 translations, interpretations of the given verse by the most honorable of scholars are cent per cent correct but the translation of Shakir is "more appropriate" because he used the word RIGHT instead of STRAIGHT, and the word RIGHT carries moral connotations while the word STRAIGHT is more used in symmetrical, dimensional and directional senses. Right direction and not straight direction may lead us to our destination.
To substantiate my logic let's focus on the word MUSTAQEEM. I don't know a word of Arabic but it sounds to me that the word Mustaqeem is somehow related to the words Mustaqil, Mutaqi, Taqwa. Yeah got it! Taqwa must be the central theme of the verse. So my dear the foundation of Taqwa is always righteousness(derived from RIGHT).
Having read and hopefully understood the above discourse, its evident that our knowledge of language, our perceptions, our understanding, our observation, our intention and determination play pivotal roles in constructing our psychological attitudes and make us what we are, how we think, how we believe, how we act.
So the words of God are the same for all and sundry (Rage's assertion) but all and sundry are not the same for God (my observation). There are pious and saints and there are rapists and killers. Why the difference when the words of God are the same for all and sundry? Don't ask why now, I have given you the RIGHT answer.

Look at the Social Status of Women in Pakistan (Published by Punjab Medical Faculty)

literacy rate: women 35.4% men 64.1%

Manpower women 16% men 84%

Income share women 20% men 80%

Manager level jobs women 2% men 98%

Minister/secretary level women 5.6% men 94.4%

Professional Jobs women 26% men 74%

Parliament lower house seats women 21.3% men 78.7%

Upper House Seats women 17% men 83%


Question: Who is responsible?
Answer: Pakistani Men jinko yeah to fikar hay kay aorat kunwari na rah jaye laikin yeah fikar nahi kay wo unparh na rah jaye.

Listen girl. It is for more honorable to be independent than to be married. Never marry a man who is already married for the sake of money.

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He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

JazibRoomi, I'm impressed by your way of thinking. If only more people in Pakistan thought like you do, we wouldn't be in this mess that we are in right now.

All I know is that if a man married to my sister or daughter wants to marry another girl (for whatever reason), he will have to get rid of me first.

In China and India, there are more men than women and many men will die as virgins. What should we do about them?

Women are possessive of their husbands just like it's true the other way round. No woman in today's world can tolerate to see her husband get close to another woman, let alone marry him. I can guarantee that the people advocating polygamy here would be devastated if they themselves become the victims of it.

Islam allows polygamy for certain specific situations with a lot of conditions but it does not encourage it. If anything, it discourages it.

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He conquers who endures.