I need to discuss something

[Gone]

I need help from the forum members regarding the second part of CSS exams i.e. psychological test and interview.

I am not a bad writer (I think). For example I appeared in CSS 2006 with only 30 to 40% preparation, because I didn’t have enough time, and still managed to get through. (I am in fact earning my livelihood by working as a writer and editor in a magazine). So written part is not as big a problem for me as it usually is, though I try not to under-estimate it.

But the problem is that I am pathetic when it comes to "speaking". That's the reason I fell below 200 on the merit list. (I am not mentioning my exact position for the sake of anonymity). Now I am at a loss whether to go for it again or not. Not that I am dying to be a CSP but I feel I have no other option but to do it if I want to retain my ego. But I also know that the definition of insanity is to keep on doing the same thing and expect a different result.

I need help from my friends at the forum to suggest me something to improve my verbal skills as well as to bring about a change, to some extent at least, in my personality—I am not assertive enough, especially if you consider that we are supposed to be “officers”, for example, by what I felt at the psychological test during the command task. But this is one of the things I won’t change even for the sake of css. I thought teaching would be a good option but can’t find somebody to be my student. Lack of time is another constraint.
I still have at least four and a half years before I "expire". But the problem is: should I waste my energies on what seems to be a hopeless cause or leave it right now. Please help me out on this issue.

[ihs]

well u should do if u wanna be a csp. to improve speaking and communication skills, i feel initially u should deliver speeches in front of ur family members. after that u should start taking prominent positions in family functions. then in general public. so step by step go on increasing ur communication skills.
it is necessary not only 4 css but even 4 ur practicle life in whatever department u go
wish u best of luck
bye

[Sureshlasi]

IHS has come on the point rightly. I just want to add some more. Try to speak infront of those who has good command in language. If u communicate with each other for some while. It will surely lead positive changes. Moreover, As imran sahab has told u , Try to create environment at home.
One thing i want to include which is internet resources . Try to speak with native speakers on net.

[Muhammad T S Awan]

AOA

you can do it... and you will do it, inshALLAH...

i know personally a CSP of 30th Common, he was topper in written but he was not much talkative so stood at 5 on over all merit (Asim Ali Khan sb.). If you are scoring well in written portion then you can secure good position in overall merit, but only with the help of continous working to be a good speaker.... it doesnt mean that a CSP must have to speak in front of hundreds in rallies like politicians, but he must be an expressive personality... rightly said by fellows, you must start from speaking in front of ur family members, but apart from this try to have discussions with different people on different topics, those persons could be ur friends, neighbours, cousins, other family membrs etc. there are a number of issues which may be topic of ur discussion like hike in prices of electricity, dam issue, foreign policy, conditions in iran and Iraq, Haj policy of government, production of comodities, industrial progress, failures of governmet or it may also include failure of some of ur relatives in examinations, the reasons behind it, settling disputes between some of ur relatives by persuading and so and so ...

hope you got the point, may ALLAH pak bless you out always...

[Gone]

I am very thankful to IHS, Sureshlasi and Tabassum for their valueable advice. Talking to my parents and relatives in English is out of question. Fortunately or unfortunately I happen to be the only "educated" (to some extent) person in my family. Most of my friends will consider me a snob if I try to do it with them because I am originally from quite a backward area. But still I will try to find some way. If you can suggest me something else keeping in view my "context", I will be very thankful to you.

[nimr]

when there's a will there's a way !

try to adjust your self in gatherings. it could be a formal or informal, depends on your mood. Start of with any topic and just go with the flow . Be very calm when you talk . Hypertention would result in blunders.

[GoodOmen]

Dear Gone....

After going through your post i'd like to share a little something with you and i really hope that it helps you in overcoming your public speaking fear...i will try to make it short because i am busy with my papers ..coz i am appearing in CSS-2007,though i do have 6 days off before my next 2 papes...need your prayers for that....

Gone !" fear of public speaking! According to statistics, it's stronger than the fear of dying followed by financial ruin, spiders and snakes.....so first of all you are not alone.....thats the good part"

Now Comes the best part " the only thing you need to do is to believe in your self before you speak ...you did well in CSS-2006...and i am sure you are capable of speaking well in public..unfortunately you were like many others including me unable to understand the right way to do it....now how i did it...or still do it...whenever you are put in a situation where you need to speak say this dua and ...IT WORKS ! ITS BEAUTIFUL

Rabbi Ishrah Li Sadry, Wayassir Li Amry, Wahlul ‘Uqdatan Min Lisany, yafqahu Qawly

"My Lord, I ask you to expand my breast, make my task easy, undo the knot in my tongue so that my speech will become comprehensible)" .....

I work..and i avoided 2-3 mins of public speaking at seminar that lasted for more then week....the asked me to lead the group i said no..because of this fear and finaly on the final day i had to speak in front of a crowc of 100...all senior officals...parliamentarians... and the compliments i recieved were over whelming we had delegates from US congress and Common wealth... and thats all i did..I PRAYED...

Its a dilemma that we have to speak in English to prove our selves but believe me when you have conviction language doesnt matter though they say " language is the dress of your thoughts" ....it is important....but its your confidence that helps you...and sky will be the limit...i am sure you have a good command in english...just be your self and pray....

Go for it...You can do it!...You got it now enjoy it
Abb go and pray for me...and my CSS...
AH

Ps: Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.-Mahatma Ghandi

[Gone]

Thank u very much nimr and GoodOmen. I will try to follow your suggestions. GoodOmen I pray to God to help you succeed in getting your aim. Thanks for your response despite your tough schedule. Keep us informed about your papers.

[nimr]

Originally Posted by Gone

Thank u very much nimr and GoodOmen. I will try to follow your suggestions. GoodOmen I pray to God to help you succeed in getting your aim. Thanks for your response despite your tough schedule. Keep us informed about your papers.

My pleasure sir. When people can do what u can't ... u don't lack any where, u just need to focus. Iam also appearing in css07 and need your prayers.

[Abdul Salam Khan]

Dear Gone

I pored over ur postulation which came to me a great zeal for being prolific in CSS, I observed a great sense of superiority complex in ur wordings which may have a drastic fall out for those who undergo a Psychological assessment, u have certainly under estimated ur family members by calling them illiterate and scoring urself as only the educated among them. I also observed great compulsiveness in ur statements I mean u have almost repeated words.

Please take a good account of underscored areas as above, May God award u success as foreseen. Ameen!

Abdul Salam Khan.