Girl: What will you Do If I Die ?

Boy: I'll Live Happily for the Rest of My Life

the Girl Died Next Day wit a note

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" I'll do anything for your happiness "
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MORAL : Koi Moral Voral Nhi, Never joke with brainless Girls

It’s A Matter Of Arrangement..

1) Princess Diana
When You Rearrange The Letters:
End Is A Car Spin

2) Monica Lewinsky
Nice Silky Woman

3) Astronomer
Moon Starer

4) The Eyes
They See

5) A Decimal Point
I Am A Dot In Place

And
6) Mother-In-Law

Woman Hitler

__________________
Work until your idols become your rivals.

"Drive slowly,Please dont kill the students,leave them on us,its our duty...we do it in a legal manner"...

__________________
Fight for your dreams & your dreams will fight for you.

HAPPY HOME RECIPE




4 Cups of Love
2 Cups of Loyality
5 Quarts of Faith
2 Table spoons of tenderness
1 Cup of kindness
5 Cups of Understanding
3 Cups Forgiveness
1 Cup Friendship
5 Tea spoons of Hopes
1 Barrel Laughter

Take love and loyalty; mix throughly
Blend with tenderness, kindness,
Understanding and forgiveness.
Add Friendship and hope; sprinkle
abundantly with Laughter. Bake with
Sunshine. Serve with generous helping.



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Wife:
Main Tumhrai Yaad main 15 din main aadhi mar gai hoon
mujhe lene kaab a rahe hoo?

Husband:
...15 din baad:p

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Math Teacher : If a=b and b=c then a=c, now give me the practical example of this principle from real life.

Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter,)

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A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island.
when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.

Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea:

"Assume we have a can opener ..."

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My lecturers , professors were used to say me

" Read books beta read books .. ""

finally i am now able to say sir ...

am reading a book very sincerely and its

facebook

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One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman. The fire chief says, “Well, you look like a good guy. I’d be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.”

The fire chief takes the mathematician to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, “OK, you’re walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire.”
The chief says, “That’s great… perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you’re walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?”
The mathematician puzzles over the question for a while and he finally says, “I light the dumpster on fire.”
The chief yells, “What? That’s horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?”
The mathematician replies, “Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I’ve already solved.”


If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ?


I don't know.


Why not ?


In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.

__________________
_-Love Thou, And If Thy Love Be Deep As Mine,
Thou wilt Not Laugh At Poets..................._-

Ek student net py apna result dekh k...

"Me Fail? English??
"That's Unpossible" !!!!

A Paki, while visiting Mumbai, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the New Andheri Flyover, the Paki who has never seen such big buildings asks the cab driver "What's this thing?" "That's the New Flyover, the biggest in Mumbai" replied the cabbie. "Flyover? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Paki. "About 5 years" replied the cabbie.
"5 years? We build them twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Karachi, and we do that in six months."
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Nehru Planetarium. "What's that building over there?" asks the Paki. "That's the Planetarium " replied the cabbie. "Plantarum huh ? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Paki. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build them twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Karachi, and it only takes us about two weeks."
Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the Air India building . "What's that building there?" asks the Paki, pointing at the tower. "I don't know" replied the cabbie, "It wasn't here when I drove by yesterdayblink.





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Pervez Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: "Well, I don't know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant."
"How do you know?" asks Musharraf.
"Oh well, it's simple", says Atal. " They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second". He calls Advani over and says to him "Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Ah, that's simple", says Advani, "it is me!"
"Well done Advani", says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed.
He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of Cabinet and asks: "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
He thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further? May I let you know tomorrow?"
"Of course", says Musharraf, "you've got 24 hours."
He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer. Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf's Cabinet is very worried still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says: "I'll ask Benazir, she's clever, she'll know the answer."
He calls Benazir. "Benazir ", he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Very simple", says Benazir, "it's me!"
"Of course" says the Cabinet member and rings Musharraf. "Sir", says he, "I've got the answer: It's Benazir Bhutto".
"No, you idiot", says Musharraf, "it's Advani".


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A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
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A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in fire up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with fire up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with fire up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"
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__________________
_-Love Thou, And If Thy Love Be Deep As Mine,
Thou wilt Not Laugh At Poets..................._-

Wife ( Kitchen Se ): Aji Suntay Ho,
Mai Aaj Kal Bohat Khubsorat ho Rahi Hon.

Husband: Tumhain Kese Pata?

Wife: Aaj kal Meri Khubsorti Dekh Kar Rotiyan Bhi Jal Rahi Hain. :-)



teacher: i am beautiful. which tense is this

Puppo: obviously the past tense.

__________________
Work until your idols become your rivals.

Ek shakhs susral gaya. uski saas ne usay 7 din tak subha sham palak or saag khilaya. 8wen din pucha: "Kia khao gay?"
Damaad: "khhait dikha do, khud hi charr aun ga."
__________________
Sonehri baat:
Naiki kar kay aisay bhool jaya karo jaisay
Shadi k baad muskurana
__________________

__________________
There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.

hasab ke ustaad parha rehy the aik sagird ne ustaad se kaha.
angrezi wale ustaad angrezi main baat karte hain'urdu wale urdu main'farsi
wale farsi main.magar ap hamare sath hasab main baat kune nahi
karte.itne main khenti baj gai.ustaad bole.ab teen panch(3,5) mat karo or no
do gyara ho

__________________
_-Love Thou, And If Thy Love Be Deep As Mine,
Thou wilt Not Laugh At Poets..................._-

A fact:
"A girl will always forgive and forget, but she will never let you forget that she had forgiven and forgotten.
__________________

__________________
There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.