The saying by which I had come across goes like : Love without marriage is illegal, while marriage without love is immoral.

Well, the whole aayat is : "[4.25] And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your faith: you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil; and that you abstain is better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

I think that it is about both of the persons who indulged in fornication. Allah Has ordained that let not anyone else marry them but one another, or if not, then the fornicator shall marry an idolatress or another woman who is already cited for the same sin.

Well, Allah Has already directed the parents of the females not to marry them without their consent, in clear words.

Well, in my own limited point of view, our food is lawful for them, but only the food of jews is lawful to us (because they slaughter the animal in the right way and abstain from pork), and that of the christians is somewhat not lawful or halal.

Returning back to the topic, I think that Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) committed his first marriage with the mutual consent and likeness. However, there was a formal delegation sent forth from His side, but the initial proposal was from Hazrat Kadija's (RA) side. How this could have happened if there was no formal contact between them. I know that it was not a personal face to face proposal, but a servant of Hazrat Khadija (RA) spoke on her behalf to Prophet(SAW). The mere point of discussion is that how did they developed such intimacy ?
If one is observer of truth, the evil consequences of love affairs are a result of absence of Islamic morals; which has made it clear that fornication is a deem hatred sin. On the other hand, it is the advice for parents that:

24.59] And when the children among you have attained to puberty, let them seek permission as those before them sought permission; thus does Allah make clear to you His communications, and Allah is knowing, Wise.

Now, looking at the real picture of life, we see that the parents of either one side or both refrain from the commandments of Allah, and marry their children elsewhere, taking in account the social and/or economic status. That is what bring the disaster in the lives of their children - the incoherence.
To the point of Mehram and Na-Mehram, I agree that Islam has not ordained any frequent intermixing of males and females, because it is provocative of erotica. There should be maintained a distance, between a man and a woman in general, if they are not mehram. So, in this regard, I am one of the opinion that a person should avoid deeds which cater such vulgarities, and should remain at a reasonable distance (physically). For communication and other matters, I think that there is enough evidence in the case of first marriage of Muhammed (SAW) with Hazrat Khadija(RA) that it is not forbidden, if not for any indecency in any regard. Another point that props this idea is that the potential spouses are allowed to see and interact with each other, before marriage and if they don't find themselves compatible, then there is no objection.

I am sorry not to include any of the sayings of "Ulema-e-deen", and have kept straight for the Quran just because of the reason that we have different sects which have different opinions. I personally believe that "sects are different because they come from man, and the morals are everywhere the same, because they come from God Almighty". So, why not to take only the book for a reference, which is same for everybody, and is above all and is promised to be protected till Qayamat, by Allah(SWT).

dear north star,
love is always legal in every form, whether b4 marriage or after ,it cant be illegal.
can u imagine a marriage without love???
without love it seems just like a contract b/w two peoples.
i totally agreed to rest of ur points.

I just wrote what I remembered, from a western person (sorry that I don't remember his name, but may be it was Jerome K Jerome in his "Three men in a boat", yet not confirm). But you are more than right in this regard.

Salaam,
@ Amy
Well dear, after marriage, it is legal and moral, if it is with spouse only. Beyond that, it is not only immoral but an illegal practice as well.

@ North Star

The 1st marriage of Muhammad (PBUH) took place before the advent of Islam, when there were not revealed such strict orders of "Purda". The second reason which you gave is right but in that scenario, there naturally comes a limiting factor of vigilance by the parents of both side.
Yet, I am also one of the opinion that if two persons happens to fall in love with each other, they should be married. If not, then if a person believes in God, then he must also believe in luck.
However, as in my earlier posts, I will reinstate my opinion that the meaning of love varies from person to person. As in the case of a very good muslim, he/she will obviously be at very good terms with his parents, and will naturally avoid holding a secret promise which he doubts that he cannot fulfill, and also will avoid those circumstances which have a tinge of offense for anyone. Taking in account all these factors, what type of marriage will be probable ?
Though there are no hard and fast rules for arranged or love marriage, because exceptions of circumstances and perceptions vary invariably. So, still I will also second you in this regard that love marriages (If not carrying any indecency) are not shunned by Islam.

But the point still remains there, which type is more befitting ?

Mera khyaal hai k iss ka nateeja iss tarah nahi niklay ga. Aisa karte hain k
voting karwa laitay hain

Chalain phir jo log arranged marriage k haq main hain wo apnay haath kharay karain

Aur abb jo love marriage k haq main hain woh apnay haath kharay karain

Chalain, ab jis ney jo karna hai karay

but,

Take care

Allah Hafiz

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Freedom Ltd.

salam,
@ sohail
well dear ,i was talking about spiritual love not physical one, obviously that type of practise is shunned by islam.
in my view it depends on person to person and personaly im not in favour of arrange marriage nor love marriage.sometime desicions taken by our parents regarding chosing our spouse become wrong and sometimes their childrens choose wrong person to marry with, and in most cases both partners are right but their circumtances or family enviroment doesnt suits them which bear lots of problems in their married life, so its totally depend on person to person that how he/she handle his/her problems therfore one should know to tackle them wisely.
one should be wise enough to diffrenciate b/w right and wrong person whether choosen by him/her or by parents.
take care.
AH.

There is no need to stick to this issue. I think we already have epilogued that both types of marriages are ok. It is up to us that how we are contributing our part in it.

fifty fifty
Regards,

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The world is my oyster!

Agreed.

@Sohail Shuja

Well, i have nothing to add except that even before Islam, Muhammed (SAW) was known as "Sadiq" and "Ameen", never drank nor praised idols, and also Hazrat Khadija (RA) was known as "Tahira". Some parts of the history are not elaborated to their bits (due to some reasons), but there is enough food for thought for the persons who care.
Agreed to the rest of your points; not one type can be generalized for every person and none has any functional or moral or any legal significance over the other in straight comparison. By a relative comparison according to persons and circumstances, results vary, invariably.
Thanks

100% agreed.

AoA to all,

as per I M P and amy, I had one question

are we done????

If, yes!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck for choosing and having the best spouse.

I would like to conclude this discussion with the words

"O ALLAH give everyone the best life partner having lots of love, that can make their life at ease and happy/enjoyable like HEAVEN on earth"

No more discussion on the topic as the matter is put to Almight ALLAH for the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Best regards

AA

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by
AA

"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness".
"Achieve excellence to become a dear or dire of the world"
"Failure is the world, don't known to me"

Amin sum amin.

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The world is my oyster!