Ya sure dear. In fact its very kind to pin point someone`s faults.

Cut your coat according to your cloth

Dreams, desires and wants are natural phenomena of human beings. But, never ending desires sometimes leads to devastating consequences in the forms of poor economic conditions, crimes or grieves. One day, desires are considered source of happiness in life and whereas on another day, same desires transform themselves into horrible realities. For instance, current credit crunch in global markets is the result of excessive borrowings by individuals and institutions besides of their poor credit ratings, People were enthusiastically fulfilling their excessive desires by stepping out of their financial limits, but once recession started, it eradicated all of their dream lives. Similar is the case of Pakistan, where government promoted natural gas as private vehicle fuel without planning its future production, which resulted in intense shortage of gas for industries, power plants and domestic customers. Now condition is extremely poor that, not only vehicles but, industries and domestic customers are also short of gas. Moreover, cultural practices in sub continent are also endangering masses, where huge financial spending for wedding ceremonies are results in poor economic conditions. Therefore, balanced approach is essential between unaccomplished desires, cultural practices and available resources; otherwise, desires would make one’s life miserable.

Please evaluate this expansion critically.
Child is the father of man
Child is the father of man is a paradoxical statement. If wordsworth had said: the man is the father of child then it would be understandable. But this proverb is really bizarre. Such sayings make us think but they mean much.

Child is, categorically, a father of man. That is to say, all that come out in the character of man is already present in the child. What the child will be as a grown-man is already there in the child’s nature.

Hitler, The rural of the Germany, had the inclinations towards the Wars and Prominent personalities. Historians write about him that when he was a child he used to read the books about historical wars and great personalities. So, the result appeared in shape of his recruitment in the German Army and he fought, ultimately, number of wars including the World War II.

Similarly, Napoleon, the ruler and the Army General of France, also had the leaning towards the wars and a kind of passion to rule the whole world in his adolescence. He also fought, as a result, many wars with England and Russia among other nations.

If we ponder upon the educational perspective of this proverb we would come to know that education does not mean stuffing knowledge into the minds of children. Rather, drawing out the natural abilities and inclinations of the children. Teacher needs to understand the children and help them to develop their natural inclinations.

Although this proverb has very strange meaning but it has, unequivocally, a very true message in it that the Child is the father of man. (Words count 266)

Try to hit the topic in very start of Expansion. Your 2nd paragraph should be replaced with first paragraph. You should omit out the first paragraph. It doesn't taste good. These paragraphs are written well 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th. 6th, the last one, it must be changed. Means, you can present your conclusion more impressive than what you have presented.

You can give FREUDIAN THEORY (Eminent Psychologist, Sigmund Freud ). He has worked on these abilities of child and he agrees with this that the child is father of Man. He says, "The adult is a grown up version of the child."

Overall, good expressions and grammar. Well, done.

Regards,

Well Zuhaib you have a very good observation. i also observed the same things. but why did you highlight the last sentence of 4th paragraph?

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"Our Lord, give us the good in this world and the good in the hereafter." (Al-Qur'an, 2:201).

Thanks for appreciation, bro.

I highlighted this sentence because it didn't give me complete sense.

He also fought, as a result, many wars with England and Russia among other nations.

I couldn't get why AMONG was jotted down by her. Perhaps, she tried to say.

He also fought, as a result, many wars with England, Russia and other nations.

She can tell well what the exact meaning was behind her sentence.

I think you are right this sentence is ambiguous. presumably, her sentence would be " He also fought, as a result, many wars with England, Russia, and some/many other nations.

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"Our Lord, give us the good in this world and the good in the hereafter." (Al-Qur'an, 2:201).

Child is the father of man
Child is the father of man is a paradoxical statement.[COLOR="Red"] If wordsworth had said: the man is the father of child then it would be understandable. But this proverb is really bizarre. Such sayings make us think but they mean much.(You dont need to write the sentences highlighted in red)

Child is, categorically, a father of man. That is to say, all that come out(COMES OUT) in the character of man is already present in the child. What the child will be as a grown-man is already there in the child’s nature.

Hitler, The rural of the Germany (THE RULER OF GERMANY) had the inclinations towards the Wars and Prominent personalities (??) . Historians write about him that when he was a child he used to read the books about historical wars and great personalities. So, the result appeared in shape of his recruitment in the German Army and he fought, ultimately, number of wars including the World War II.

Similarly, Napoleon, the ruler and the Army General of France, also had the leaning towards the wars and a kind of passion to rule the whole world in his adolescence. He also fought, as a result, many wars with England and Russia among other nations.


If we ponder upon the educational perspective of this proverb we would come to know that education does not mean stuffing knowledge into the minds of children. Rather, drawing out the natural abilities and inclinations of the children. Teacher needs to understand the children and help them to develop their natural inclinations.

Although this proverb has very strange meaning but it has, unequivocally, a very true message in it that the Child is the father of man. (Words count 266)


DO NOT USE 'THE' BEFORE EVERY NOUN.
SECONDLY, IT IS NOT NECESSARY THAT SYNONYM OF A WORD WILL BE USED CORRECTLY IN PLACE OF THAT WORD.

Mere contemplation and thinking, without any action, leads one’s life to nowhere. A life without action is like a stagnant pool of water that gets dirtier and thicker as the time proceeds; whereas a life based upon action is like a flowing river that reaches the destination; mightier than itself. Similarly, absence of action and activity from one’s life makes one lethargic and one becomes no better than a dead person.

Life is action; it demands being active and vigilant. Cessation of action means destruction for atoms and stopping of activity is to die for cells. Every achievement, every advancement, every accomplishment has expended action, not contemplation. Jacob Bronowski says, "The world can only be grasped by action, not by contemplation.”

But mere action also is not the alpha and omega of life. A fruitful and wise action needs a sound theoretical basis and a pre-planned course. An action, without careful thought behind, mostly ends in smoke. For a productive action, one needs strong reasons and theory to support it. The stronger the reason, the vigorous will be the action. As William Shakespeare says, “Strong reasons make strong actions”.

Thus we observe that life neither solely depends upon action, nor upon contemplation. It is an amalgam of the two. Mere action, without contemplation, may bring catastrophic outcomes; and mere contemplation, without any stir, will bring nothing at all. We need both of them for a successful life. Supporting the same conclusion, a Japanese proverb says that, "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare".

Word Count: 258

Criticism will be highly appreciated..
Regards..

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"So my birth was the first of all my misfortunes". (Jean Jacques Rosseou)

Well done, from my side. Keep it up.