Originally Posted by therevenant

Cogito

Brother, looks like we followed the same path interpreting the crux of the topic. Like you, I (also over-analysed it, may be and) went on to prove the contributions WOT has made to ALREADY proliferating abuses of Human Rights. I still believe that this approach is, in no-way, detracted from the topic.

Originally Posted by Toru

Your contribution has been invaluable Doc. I wish to see more of you here. And i would've wished you good luck had i been uncertain about the future because i know for sure you will do exceedingly well no matter where you are or what you do. Do stick around for the much-needed-help and Sober company to balance the likes of our dear Mr Justice. Its only been 2 days and he's already become a pain in everyone's behind. Haha

Originally Posted by Aik Admi

Cogito you quoted Gandhi in a Pakistan Civil Service exam to start your essay with? What the heck? What were you thinking...yeah... I am almost sure that even a majority of the forum members - despite their intellectual calibre - would take offense to an essay starting with the quotation of Gandhi...Not even 10% of the members would know about the towering personality this dhoti clad 'simpleton' had.

FPSC must have marked, "Raw Agent - Disqualified. Investigate for any links. Refer to counter-intelligence department." For me, this was what got you off the race. Thanks for candidly sharing it

Originally Posted by Monk

I'm feeling sleepy right now but let me tell you that there was nothing wrong in your Essay it was of international standard neither you digress from topic nor you broken any rule of Essay. Nono it's not a praise it's my assessment (which obviously can be wrong).Why you failed? There are two major reasons behind it.

1: Poor writing
2: Your Essay was too dense for CSS

Since first point is self explanatory so allow me to elaborate second one. A month back in a result anticipation thread you posted your Essay. After having glance at it I felt that you're going to fail because I thought you wrote irrelevant material and digressed from topic. ( my feelings were not different from Toru at that time)

Then you asked me "what's wrong with my Essay". To answer your query i read your Essay again with full attention to bring out critique of your Essay. Guess what happened then? I realised your essay is well connected and you proved your point. At the same time I also realised that your essay is too dense to get you pass marks since I have to read your essay twice to get your meaning.( Examiner reads only once).

That's why i sided with @darkmoon whose essay was self explanatory and I wrote:




You didn't Pass because the system of FPSC is too outdated to give a second chance to unique talent.

Originally Posted by kingfalcon

Probably some public sector university's english teacher will be checking it for Rs 50 per paper, maybe not him/her even as they might give it to their students and your whole life would lie in the hands of english language students at a not so good public sector university.

Originally Posted by shahrukhachakzai

The topic of my essay was War on Terror and Human Rights Abuses . My outline was scattered over one and a half page and the whole essay consumed around 20 pages or so .

It was my favorite topic because IR was one of my optional subjects. I took a MOOC on Coursera on Terrorism and Counter Terrorism , had already watched plenty of documentaries. I have a flood of information and statistics in my mind that I want to pen down but time was short .

So below is a brief sketch of my outline . I might be missing many points as they have been deleted now from my mind .

Introduction
A Brief History Of terrorism.
- From Zealots to Hassan ibn Sabah then to Reign of Terror in France after French revolution
How to define Terrorism ? A puzzle for whole world.
- I briefly discussed the till now there is no accurate definition of terrorism. Every nations defines terrorism according to her own political and social scenario

A Brief History Of war on Terror
• How it all started.
• Who were the coalition partners?
• Prime objectives
• The geographical area where it was fought
Who First Coined The Term War on Term ,US President George W Bush on September 21st 2001.

How WOT is responsible for mass abuse of human rights
- Become a mere tool by the western powers to invade any country
- Given rise to Islamic phobia around the world.
- It was a direct challenge to the credibility of UN.
- Given rise to extremism around the world. Like TTP , ISIS etc
- Human rights abuses by CIA , their concentration camps , drone strikes , using cruel interrogation tactics as confessed by the CIA chief
- Exploitation of the rights of PoWs Guantanamo Bay , Abu Ghuraib jail incidents
- Made world more insecure
- Lack of Free trials
- Curb on freedom of Expression .
- Responsible for the Economic Crunch of 2008 .
- Electronic surveillance of Citizens , US NSA Prism program , Edward Snowden Case .
- Given a free license to oppressive regimes around the world to curb the just right of self-determination such as In India , Israel

Suggestions

Conclusion

Originally Posted by Sarmad 2

I Disapprove of What You Say, But I Will Defend to the Death Your Right to Say it

Introduction:

• Humans are gregarious beings from religious and evolutionary perspectives
• This social nature leads to problems related to social interactions
• One of these problems is that of 'right to free speech'

Nature of Rights:

• What type of right is the right to free speech (moral or legal)?
• Why is it a moral right?
• Where do moral rights come from?
• Social contract establishes it as a right
• Its moral nature can be understood using moral theories of Kant and Mill

Social Contract:

• What is it?
• Give briefly, the perspectives of Hobbes, Locke and Rousseau
• How it establishes free speech as a right which has to be defended by the state?

Moral Theories:

• Teleological argument - Mill's Utilitarianism leads to greatest satisfaction for the greatest number of people if free speech is a right protected by the state
• Deontological argument - Kant's duty based ethics make free speech people's duty, and its protection state's duty
• Social contract establishes free speech as a right and moral theories help us realize this right's moral nature

Contemporary Issue - Charlie Hebdo:

• Defend the right of everyone to make any remark so far as it can be counted as free speech
• But blasphemy and hate speech do not count as free speech - why?
• Show that blasphemy and hate speech are both immoral from utilitarian as well as deontological points of view
• Any speech/expression which is immoral by the same theories which establish the right to free speech as a moral right cannot be considered as free speech

Advantages and Necessity of Free Speech:

• Processes related to democracy are contingent on promotion and protection of free speech
• These processes include infromed decision, women empowerment, affirmative action etc
• Free speech was important even in history
• If forward looking people did not support free speech, Prophets would never have been successful, new revolutionary ideas would have never taken root etc

Conclusion

Originally Posted by Aik Admi

Could you share your outline please?