Kindly share ur outline of this essay

We have to learn to be our own best friends because we have fallen too easily into trap to be our enemies.
Thesis statement
Success of humanity is determined by the level of its self friendship. Disasters have been invited by none but by humanity’s enmity against its own self.
A. Self- friendship determines success
B. Humanity suffers because it becomes its own enemy
1. Security and armaments
2. Green revolution and health hazards
3. Industrialization and challenged existence of life on earth
4. Nuclear power and endangered peace
C. Friendly approach towards itself can save humanity
1. End of insecurity and perpetual peace
2. Universal efforts to save the life on earth
There were two more headings which I can’t recall
3……………………………………..
4………………………………………..
D. Humanity is a victim of its own enmity
E. Salvation lies in being our own friend
Conclusion
Details; my outline consumed two pages and the essay took 16 pages.
It was connected and coherent but I have done one blunder I wrote the word ‘enemity’ instead of enmity.
Please give your opinion about essay, marks , pass, fail ,whatever you feel; introduction and conclusion both were solid .one thing more which I did wrong as writing own self as ‘ownself’

Did you write main headings with the marker?

And thesis statement could be better if it consisted of only one sentence.

I can bet on this essay! You're pass IA

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__________________
One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

We fall in traps of enemy
1being careless rather comitted
2being evasive rather explicit
3being submissive rather smart
4being haughty rather humble
5being coveteous rather contended
Khatam shud[/LIST]

yes, I did write headings with black pointer.
Allah reham kre bus ab i have done whatever struggle was possible.

We have to learn to be our own best friends because we have fallen too easily into trap to be our enemies.
1. outline
2.introduction
3.How far it is true that we have fallen too easily into trap of our enemies
a.Historical perspective:owning friendship or sowing conflict
1a.Wilsonian idealism:a name of global imperialism
2a.Atlantis chartar,Dominance of P5 imperialism
3a.CETO,SENTO:A sham of holy good alliance
b.Political perspective:A trap of friendship as wolf in sheep clothing
1b.Petrodollar politics: Spider-web to contain muslim world
2b.World's renowned philonthropist: world's biggest despotist
c.Geographical perspective: American grand strategy of world primacy under the disguise of liberal acquaintanceship
1c.Geostrategic imperatives: a dreamy vision of nazism and gray philosophy
2.Nato's R2p:reconfiguration of Grand middle east
c.Economic perspective:capitalism,tantamount to global system of slavery
1c.money is debt and debt is money
2c.modern money mechanics: cycle of perptual liability
4.Worst enemy under the disguise of friendship
4a.united nation:puppet servant of hegemones
4a.a.Hans Blix report and legality of GWOT in Iraq
4a.b.Libyan interventionism and oddyssy dawn(law of return of colonialism in North Africa)
4a.c.international court of criminal: boot licker of Association of State parties
4a.d.Atom for peace or destruction of human civilization
4a.e.industrial revolution: A debt burden on pristine ecology
4a.f.Security trilemma: Usurpation of friendly environment from south asia
5.How to become our own best friend
5a.Reconfiguration of UN general assembly:Replacing P5 with P6 continetal People's power
5b.Democratic and secular reforms in ICC
5c.Circulation of wealth from developed South to developing North
5d.Restoring the true spirit of perpetual sovereignty and political independence of all individual states
5e.Not reductionist but abolishnist approach to Nuclear armaments, biological weapons, and chemical weapons
5f.Introspection of Pakistan india relations in view of X factor
5g.Review of political setup in Pakistan
6.Critical analysis
7.Conclusion

my thesis statement was same as that of the topic, because i thought examiner has already given me direction as well as the central idea. my Outline covered 2.5 pages and essay ended at 22nd page.

Plus points of my essay:

It was comprehensive and detailed one.
Idea was unique.
Tried to cover the general view of the topic by mentioning refences and those books which i have read.
I mentioned couple of quotes.i.e.
Start:History is a set of lies which we usually agreed upon.
Nathen Rotchschild said regarding modern slavery system
"I don't care who the puppet is placed on Britain throne, the empire where the sun never sets in.The one who controls the british money control the british empire, and i control the british money supply."
Regarding money mechanics that how money is created and how perpetual debt cycle is inherited in the system, i quoted,
Alama Talib Johris famous quote:"In the past individuals were enslaved, but now slavery is intercepted at state level."
In solution i mentioned that we should rely on the intelligence of man by considering this fact the all humans are equal, simply accept
this fact and youwill have friends instead of enmies.Also restore this universal principal that intelligence is not confined to anyone class,
anyone sex,and anyone caste provided man is given an equal opportunity.
Besides this i mentioned many others but didnt remember!

Negative aspects of my essay

My introductory paragraph was very lengthy.
At some places i cross cut some words with my pen, that looked untidy to me as well.
At the start i have had great problem in reproducing the material, because of my premature experience of writing in a new environment,which was
quite evident in writing.
In the beginning, i used various type of sentences such as simple, compound and complex, but at the end the pace i used just compound and simple sentences
Some puncuation and gramatical mistakes.May be i have even committed spell mistakes as well.
I could have even done better than this,but time constraints didn't permit me to do so.
I seriously compromised on critical analysis, again time limits,[thanks to this forum, which told me such a fantastic idea]
Solution was also okay, not fully satisfied.
Conclusion was fine, and at eleventh hour my blood was fully rushed with adrenals, because i didnt review my essay.May be i proved
to be incompetent in time management, even though i just consumed half hour in drawing my rough outline.
But, anyhow i really enjoyed that great day,even while writing i am enjoying the heat of the exam[@ manjanbazm,your suggestions proved very valuable to me]

Now the ball is in your court to tell me my shortfalls with good solution as well.

I personally think simple essay is better.i dont think this type of attempting essay would gonna give marks more than 20.thats my opinion lets see

why do you think it was a complex essay, it was an argumentative essay and i had to justify that there exist some some reality.But any way thanks for commenting, don't you think 20 marks boht zyada han.

My friend, yeh tu time btaye ga kitny marks atay hain. Lakin what is this third point?

3.How far it is true that we have fallen too easily into trap of our enemies

Trust me foreign aid wala topic was for you.

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__________________
One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

I presented my opinion.i m not joking.people like xinglee king falcon attempted this manner and got 8 marks.you will be there in october so as i will .its a truth.its your wish to believe it or not. I merely opined