Originally Posted by starshining

i am also aspirant of css 2014 want to join essay preparatory group.

Originally Posted by haroon malik

kindly evalate my introduction i write on essay topic : " future of democracy in Pakistan"...please indicate my (1) level of language (2) grammer (3) flow of ideas and connectiosn b/w them (4) is this intro related with topic of essay etc...thnks



Democracy is Government of the people, by the people, for the people. Democracy is such a system of government which requires sincere politicians, independent judiciary and strong media. India and Pakistan were part of the same region ,had a long common history, shared trial and tribulations under British rule, fought war of independence hand in hand and drove the alien rulers out of the subcontinent who left behind Pakistan and India two independent states. In view of common past of both the states they were supposed to pursue somewhat similar politics of statehood but they moved to almost dramatically opposite directions. While India has remained democratic ever-since. On becoming independent ,India banned feudalism, its pioneering leadership lasted for almost sixteen years after independence. Pakistan is unfortunate in this regard. It lost the father of the Nation only a year after A junta of incompetent and selfish feudal hijacked the country. Many developments seems to occur in the recent past but still they not able to portray true picture of democracy in Pakistan.Pakistan is facing weak political system, Influence of Military, Feudalism, Power politics, Foreign interference,Terrorism, Bad relations with neighboring countries, Economic difficulties, Illiteracy, Unemployment, poverty and lack of political of awareness. Increase in Illiteracy, poverty, corruption, inflation, energy crises, worse law and order conditions and injustice. There should be need of strengthening political culture and accountability, eradication of illiteracy and economic uplift to pave democratic path in Pakistan.Our democratic system is still under constraints and need time and strong leadership for its growth

Originally Posted by Nosheen Bukhari

please evaluate my attempt.

Gender equality in Islam.



1-Introduction
a, Meaning of gender equality.
b, Islam promotes gender equality.

2-Women before the advent of Islam
a, were subjugated and persecuted. (what if we replace it with subjugation and persecution?)
B, Gender inequality was intense and consipicuous.
(Intense and Consipucous gender inequality??)
3-The freedom given to women by Islam
a. Encourages to seek education;
b. Freedom of professing religion and worship;
c. Freedom of opinion;
d. Choice of spouse;
e. Social role;

f. Economic security;
g. Can have business;
(these two points can't be merged?)

h. Equality before law;
i, No gender-based discrimination.

4-Why women are still suffering?/Causes of gender inequality.
a, Misinterpretation of Islamic shariah.
b, Partriarchal culture of Muslim societies
c, Lack of political freedom and stability.
d, Illiteracy
e, Poverty and economic dependence of women on men.
f, Men dominance.
g, Stereotypes about gender across the cultures of world.

5-How gender equality can be ensured in Islamic societies?
a, Clear interpretation of shariah.
b, Cultural constraints and stereotypes be removed.
c, Women be imparted education.
d, All fundamental rights be ensured.

6-Conclusion.

Gender equality refers to considering men and women equal in all respects and giving them equal rights. This may be a very recent concept in the domains of those who considered themselves the custodians of human rights. But Islam accords equal rights to all men and women without any discrimination on the basis of gender since its inception some fourteen and a half centuries ago. Islam takes utmost care of human dignity. At the time of its arrival in the world human race was in doldrums. The most downtrodden group was of women. They were subjected to discrimination and persecution. The ignorance was so acute that the people used to bury their female children alive. Gradually, Islamic teachings enlightened the minds of people and pull them out of the darkness of ignorance. They began to realize women's worth and the dignity. Islam confers equal rights on women in all spheres of life and promotes no gender-based discrimination. Much of the gender inequality which is attributed to Isalmic teachings has nothing to do with Islam at all. It is the result of cultural orientations, misinterpretation of shariah, lack of political order, illiteracy, women dependence on men, and stereotypes regarding gender. For promoting gender equality in Islamic context, the real efforts are needed to be made. There should be clear interpretation of shariah, all cultural stereotypes should be removed and education be given to the people regarding fundamental rights of women. It goes without saying that the term gender connotes a specific meaning; and keeping in view the physical difference between men and women, there is some sort of distribution of responsibility among them. However, this does no way mean inequality; rather it is part of natural law which no one can escape from.

Originally Posted by shakeel ghori;

Please evaluate my attempt.

Gender equality in Islam.



1-Introduction
a, Meaning of gender equality.
b, Islam promotes gender equality.

2-Women before the advent of Islam
a, were subjugated and persecuted. ( Women's Subjugation and persecution were obvious)
B, Gender inequality was intense and conspicuous.

3-The freedom given to women by Islam
a. Encourages to seek education;
b. Freedom of professing religion and worship;
c. Freedom of opinion;
d. Choice of spouse;
e. Social role;
f. Economic security;
g. Can have business;(freedom of doing Business)
h. Equality before law;
i, No gender-based discrimination.

4-Why women are still suffering?/Causes of gender inequality.
a, Misinterpretation of Islamic shariah.
b, Patriarchal culture of Muslim societies
c, Lack of political freedom and stability.
d, Illiteracy
e, Poverty and economic dependence of women on men.
f, Men dominance. ( point b and f are the same)
g, Stereotypes about gender across the cultures of world.

5-How gender equality can be ensured in Islamic societies?
a, Clear interpretation of shariah.
b, Cultural constraints and stereotypes be removed.
c, Women be imparted education.
d, All fundamental rights be ensured.

6-Conclusion.

Gender equality refers to considering men and women equal in all respects( on equal footing); and giving them equal rights.( no need of it now) This may be a very recent concept in the domains of those who considered themselves the custodians of human rights. But Islam accords equal rights to all men and women without any discrimination on the basis of gender since its inception (the advent of Islam)some fourteen and a half centuries ago. Islam takes utmost care of human dignity.( I think this sentence should be restructured) At the time of its arrival in the world (In the beginning of Islamic era) human race was in doldrums. The most downtrodden group was of(no need of it think) women. They were subjected to discrimination and persecution. The ignorance was so acute that the people used to bury their female childrenbaby-girl alive. Gradually,(with the passage of time) Islamic teachings enlightened the minds of people and pull them out of the darkness of ignorance. They began to realize women's worth and the dignity. the dignity and worth of women. Islam confers equal rights on women in all(every) spheres of life and promotes no gender-based discriminationgender equality. Much of the gender inequality which is attributed to Islamic teachings has nothing to do with Islam at all. It is the result of cultural orientations, misinterpretation of shariah, lack of political order, illiteracy, women dependence on men, and stereotypes regarding gender. For promoting gender equality in Islamic context, the real efforts are needed to be made. There should be clear interpretation of shariah, all cultural stereotypes should be removed and education be given to the people regarding fundamental rights of women. It goes without saying that the term gender connotes a specific meaning; and keeping in view the physical difference between men and women, there is some sort of distribution of responsibility among them. However, this does no way mean gender inequality; rather it is a part of natural law which no one can escape from.

Originally Posted by Ahmed Faisal

Gender Equality In Islam

Outline:
1. Introduction
2. Historical Perspectives
3. Women in Ancient Civilization
4. Gender Equality in Islam
(a) The Spiritual Aspect of Women
(b) The Social Aspect of Women
(i) As a Child and an Adolescent/ Daughter
(ii) As a Wife:
(iii) As a Mother:
(c) Equality in Education
(d) Equality in Economic Activities
(i) Female Employment
(ii) Financial Matters
(e) Equality in Politics
(f) Equality in Legal and Criminal Matters
(i) Sharia Law
(ii) Rape
(g) Rights of Marriage and Related Issues
(i) Sexuality
(ii) Birth Control
(iii) Divorce
(e) Women's freedom of Movement and Travel as men
5. Modern Debate on the Gender Equality in Islam
6. Conservatives and the Islamic Movement
7. Liberal Islam, Islamic Feminism, and Other Progressive Criticism
8. Conclusion

Family, society and ultimately the whole of mankind is treated by Islam on an ethical basis. Differentiation in sex (We cannot use the word 'sex' here. It connotes biological differnece between men and women. Here we are dealing with the word 'gender' which has social aspectss) is neither a credit nor a drawback for the sexes. Therefore, when we talk about gender equality in Islam it should not lead us to think that Islam has no specific guidelines, limitations, responsibilities and obligations for men. What makes one valuable and respectable in the eyes of Allah, the Creator of mankind and the universe, is neither one’s prosperity, position, intelligence, physical strength nor beauty, but only one’s Allah-consciousness and awareness (taqwa). However, since in the Western culture and in cultures influenced by it, there exists a disparity between men and women there is more need for stating Islam’s position on important issues in a clear way.
Sharia (Islamic law) provides for complementarianism, differences between women's and men's roles, rights, and obligations. However neither the Quran nor Hadith mention women have to be housewives. Majority [Of] Muslim countries give women varying degrees of rights with regards (Regard) to marriage, divorce, civil rights, legal status,political matters and education based on different interpretations. Scholars and other commentators vary as to whether they are just and whether they are a correct interpretation of religious imperatives. (Faisal I need to know the meaning of this last sentence.)

Evaluate My attempt and pinpoint mistakes (if any)

Originally Posted by Ahmed Faisal

As per my understanding, I have modified and pinpointed some of your visible mistakes. Unequivocally, you are doing a tremendous jOb....

Originally Posted by shakeel ghori

Your outline contains almost every aspect of the topic. Introduction is coherent and attractive. I have tried to highlight few of your mistakes. Your are doing a marvelous job.

Originally Posted by shakeel ghori

Your introduction does not match the title of your essay: 'Future of democracy in Pakistan'. Indispensably, we should also mention the history of democracy in Pakistan while predicting about its future. But, I have observed that in your introduction mostly the historical background of democracy in Pakistan was dominant. Undoutedly, you have highlighted very genuine points which are hampering us to acquire a true democratic set-up. However, I think you have sketched perhaps a very dismal picture. Try to be optimistic while writing about any topic pertaining to Pakistan. Moreover, there are few grammatical mistakes as well. Your expression is good and the vocabulary is also reasonable. The areas you to work on are: punctuation, relevancy, grammar, and coherence in ideas.

Best of luck..

Originally Posted by shakeel ghori

Please evaluate my attempt.

Gender equality in Islam.



1-Introduction
a, Meaning of gender equality.
b, Islam promotes gender equality.

2-Women before the advent of Islam
a, were subjugated and persecuted.
B, Gender inequality was intense and consipicuous.

3-The freedom given to women by Islam
a. Encourages to seek education;
b. Freedom of professing religion and worship;
c. Freedom of opinion;
d. Choice of spouse;
e. Social role;
f. Economic security;
g. Can have business;
h. Equality before law;
i, No gender-based discrimination.

4-Why women are still suffering?/Causes of gender inequality.
a, Misinterpretation of Islamic shariah.
b, Partriarchal culture of Muslim societies
c, Lack of political freedom and stability.
d, Illiteracy
e, Poverty and economic dependence of women on men.
f, Men dominance.
g, Stereotypes about gender across the cultures of world.

B and F are same. Avoid this

5-How gender equality can be ensured in Islamic societies?
a, Clear interpretation of shariah.
b, Cultural constraints and stereotypes be removed.
c, Women be imparted education. Edaucation should be imparted. I think this should be written here.
d, All fundamental rights be ensured.

6-Conclusion.

Gender equality refers to considering men and women equal in all respects and giving them equal rights. This may be a very recent concept in the domains of those who considered themselves the custodians of human rights. But Islam accords equal rights to all men and women without any discrimination on the basis of gender since its inception some fourteen and a half centuries ago. Islam takes utmost care of human dignity. At the time of its arrival in the world human race was in doldrums. The most downtrodden group was of women. They were subjected to discrimination and persecution. The ignorance was so acute that the people used to bury their female children alive. Gradually, Islamic teachings enlightened the minds of people and pull them out of the darkness of ignorance. They began to realize women's worth and the dignity. Islam confers equal rights on women in all spheres of life and promotes no gender-based discrimination. Much of the gender inequality which is attributed to Isalmic teachings has nothing to do with Islam at all. It is the result of cultural orientations, misinterpretation of shariah, lack of political order, illiteracy, women dependence on men, and stereotypes regarding gender. For promoting gender equality in Islamic context, the real efforts are needed to be made. There should be clear interpretation of shariah, all cultural stereotypes should be removed and education be given to the people regarding fundamental rights of women. It goes without saying that the term gender connotes a specific meaning; and keeping in view the physical difference between men and women, there is some sort of distribution of responsibility among them. However, this does no way mean inequality; rather it is part of natural law which no one can escape from.

Originally Posted by Ahmed Faisal

Gender Equality In Islam

Outline:
1. Introduction
2. Historical Perspectives
3. Women in Ancient Civilization
4. Gender Equality in Islam
(a) The Spiritual Aspect of Women
(b) The Social Aspect of Women
(i) As a Child and an Adolescent/ Daughter
(ii) As a Wife:
(iii) As a Mother:
(c) Equality in Education
(d) Equality in Economic Activities
(i) Female Employment
(ii) Financial Matters
(e) Equality in Politics
(f) Equality in Legal and Criminal Matters
(i) Sharia Law
(ii) Rape
(g) Rights of Marriage and Related Issues
(i) Sexuality
(ii) Birth Control
(iii) Divorce
(e) Women's freedom of Movement and Travel as men
5. Modern Debate on the Gender Equality in Islam
6. Conservatives and the Islamic Movement
7. Liberal Islam, Islamic Feminism, and Other Progressive Criticism
8. Conclusion

Family, society and ultimately the whole of mankind is treated by Islam on an ethical basis. Differentiation in sex is neither a credit nor a drawback for the sexes. Therefore, when we talk about gender equality in Islam it should not lead us to think that Islam has no specific guidelines, limitations, responsibilities and obligations for men. What makes one valuable and respectable in the eyes of Allah, the Creator of mankind and the universe, is neither one’s prosperity, position, intelligence, physical strength nor beauty, but only one’s Allah-consciousness and awareness (taqwa). However, since in the Western culture and in cultures influenced by it, there exists a disparity between men and women there is more need for stating Islam’s position on important issues in a clear way.
Sharia (Islamic law) provides for complementarianism, differences between women's and men's roles, rights, and obligations. However neither the Quran nor Hadith mention women have to be housewives. Majority Muslim countries give women varying degrees of rights with regards to marriage, divorce, civil rights, legal status,political matters and education based on different interpretations. Scholars and other commentators vary as to whether they are just and whether they are a correct interpretation of religious imperatives.

Evaluate My attempt and pinpoint mistakes (if any)