Originally Posted by stunning

How can u recount?...is there a possibility .does marks increase?

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Originally Posted by Topgun

can you kindly share your outline. I attempted the same but failed.
Still confused, where did I go wrong.

• Introduction
• Phenomenon of global warming:
1.Earth goes through a cycle of warming and cooling (Process of warming).
2. Pre-industrial era saw a balance of this cycle.
3. Industrial revolution followed by massive industrialization, over reliance on hydro-carbons, influx of greenhouse gasses as a result average global temperature started to increase. (Heat trapped by ghgs).
• (Threats) A. Implications for the natural systems
Rise in global average temperature resulting in:
1.Melting of ice caps (polar/glaciers)
2.Increse in sea level
3. Influx of cool water in seas, disruption of thermohaline(oceanic currents)
4. Abnormal weather events (Disruption in monsoon, rain patterns, LA NINA, EL NINO)
5. Drought ,depletion of water resources, ground water resources.
6. Changes in the chemistry of soil, moisture, ph value (perma frost etc).
7. Process of desertification.
8.ozone depletion
9.bio diversity.
• Social Implications(Threats)
Global warming acting as a root cause / catalyst for global turmoil.
1. Food insecurity(reasons mentioned above, examples quoted Darfur , south sudan,other).
2. Malnutrition
3. Spread of diseases (water Bourne diseases)
4. Spread of poverty , third world with weak economies , huge populations finding it difficult to deal with these crisis.
5. Mass migrations, (reasons mentioned above)(refugee, Tdps etc)(examples )
6.Pressure on urban areas, rise of slums
7.Human rights - marginalized segments getting exploited, spike in criminal activities,lack of jobs, non state actors , violence,terrorism.
8.Demographic change leading to violence(populist movements in europe)
9.Wars ,rising tensions(water war ,indo pak, Egypt ethopia sudan,turk,Iraq ,iran, Jordan Israel ets).
10.Economic impact(dilemma for poor nations who are facing the full brunt of global warming even though their share of emissions are negligible compared to developed world).

• Slow response :World has been slow to realize about the magnanimity of the issue owing to the fact that:
1. Changes due to global warming are intangible, human psychology – threats that are tangible such as terrorism get amplified , traditionally get more importance.(example of a case study conducted by PEW research was given).
2. Recent natural disasters a change in thinking was observed

• Great Awakening (Ways to counter it)
1. Global level initiatives.
a.UN led initiatives
Rio summit(including others)

Different accords copen hagen ,Kyoto ,bonn , paris (long list,I have forgotten the order ), carbon ratings , emission quota etc ,
MDG,SDG

2. State level initiatives.
Legislations,public-private partnerships
Renewable energy
Tax rebates
Conservation efforts
Shift in economic structure , right now consumerism which aids in warming(book reference)
Recycling
Public transport
Awareness campaigns
3. Individual level
Changing life style
Habbits
Preferences
4. Role of industry
5. Role of media
6. Research and development
Latest technologies/trends:
Eg(combined cycle plants, plasma reactors etc)
• Conclusion

Originally Posted by A Zeee

Please allow me some time to share my outline.
About your outline, well I am not an expert. I will like qualified people to evaluate it. However, I will point out few things. Also, you can get more ideas once I will share my outline.
After introduction of topic, If I have understood correctly, You have written 3 paragraphs on explaining what is this phenomenon. This was not the demand of examiner. He already knows about the phenomenon. And in introduction, phenomenon can be explained in that 1 paragraph. The main thing of discussion was threats and how to counter them. That part was not asked and you did include that in start. Not a good impression. Examiners usually decide your fate in outline and introduction. They only go further in those essays which have good relevant outline and introduction. After that, they usually read first few paragraphs and conclusion. In your case, you have committed blunder in my opinion.
Lets go further. In threats, you have shared few points. Some are effectively explained that how they are threats and some are not. Always consider your examiner layman. Make self explanatory phrases in simplest possible language. Do not write examples etc etc there. If you will explain those things there, I think there is nothing left to include in essay. Your point should tell which threat and why. In my opinion, some of these points are threats and some are evidences of threats. You have focused more on making points and have not explained them effectively. Simply point making is not enough. You have to tell that how it is related.
About counter mechanisms, points are relevant but not adequately explained in phrases. You have merely written points.
Also, introduction can be the reason for these marks. Since you have not shared it, so, I cannot tell if it was the reason or not.

Originally Posted by Topgun

Thank you for your insight. I wrote this outline a couple of months back, not following any rules of essay writing (just to give an idea) , a lazy effort on my behalf so i beg your pardon.This is just a vague recollection of what i wrote in the exam.Concerning the phenomenon part ,it was covered briefly not more than half a page.
The word " examples" was not mentioned in the outline, but adequate examples were given in the main body to validate each point .

Originally Posted by A Zeee

I have given my opinion purely on the basis of your written outline here. I know this is just a vague recollection of what you did in the examination. No one can regenerate outline as it is unless material written was crammed by that person. I am giving my opinion according to essay rules and what I have learnt from my seniors and mentors. Well, in outline, it is clearly shown that you are going to write 3 paragraphs after introduction. If you have not written 3 paragraphs but have made 3 points in outline, it is also a blunder. I am not talking about word example. You have actually given examples without writing the word.
I have pointed out mistakes from the material shared by you. I cannot possibly know what you have written in the paper. You have ability to write much better essay. Your knowledge of the topic is more than my knowledge. You just need to learn essay writing techniques. Also, practice of outline and introduction will help you. Better to get your work checked by good English teacher. Try to make phrases which will relate the shared concepts with the phenomenon.
Essay teachers are not an authority on knowledge. They cannot possibly know everything. They are, however, experts in Essay writing skills. So write it in a why in which you can effectively convey what you are trying to say.

Originally Posted by Topgun

Hmm sounds pertinent.Can you recommend any good English teacher in Islamabad