Mout k bad yaad a raha ha koi,

GOLD LEAF meri kabar par jala raha ha koi,

Ya RAB do pal ki mohlat aur day de mujhe,

Akely Akely sootay laga raha ha koi!

Sardar: Mujhe phone pay dhamkiyan mil rahi hain.
Police: Kon hai woh ?
Sardar: PTCL walay... kehtay hain keh bill na dia tou 'Kaat dain gay"


------------------------


Wife: If I dismiss the cook and cook the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

__________________
Hai ghanimat kay israr-e-hasti sai hum
Bay khabr aaie hain, bay khabr jaien gain
Q A

Sardar went to a museum where he broke a statue.
Officer: U have broken a 5000 years old statue.
Sardar: Thank God, mainu lagga nava si…


---------------------

Aik makhi ki halat bohat kharab thi,woh doctor k pas gai.
Doc: Kia howa ?
Makhi: Bas chaye (tea) mein gir gai thi.Sheikh sahib ne choos choos k bura haal ker diya.

-----------------------------

3 Sardar aik hi bed pay so rahay thay. Aik ko jaga choti lagi to woh zameen par so gaya.Bed par aik sardaar nay awaaz di "Oye oper aa ja, jaga khuli ho gayee hai"


------------------------------

American: A baby in our country had no legs,we put artificial legs on him.He is an athlete now..

Russian:A baby in our country had no arms and we put artifical arms on him.He is boxer now..

Pakistani:A baby in our country had no brain.We puta coconut in his head.He is our president now.

__________________
Truth is the most powerful force on earth because it can not be changed. (Mike Murdock)

A Punjabi Woman Talks to an English Doctor about her Child:
"My Kaka Is Ill Ek Week Da
Na Eat Da Na Sleep Da
Bas Weep Da Te Cheek Da"

__________________
Time is the longest distance between two places.

Banta joins the suicide bomber squad, so when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp. His leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Banta: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Banta: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after.

Banta pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.

__________________
Truth is the most powerful force on earth because it can not be changed. (Mike Murdock)

A customer went to a parrots' shop to buy one.
Customer:"How much about this one"?
Salesman:"its about Rs.20k".
Customer:"what are its qualities"?
Salesman:"it speaks english,french,urdu,spanish,german and arabic ,thts why".
Customer talked to parot in urdu n english n got wondering.
Pointing to anothr parrot, customer askd its price.He was told it was Rs.50 k.
Custmor:"what are its qualities then"?
Salesman:"its a philosopher parrot n can tell u solution of any problem in life".
Customer askd parrot few issues of life n parrot satisfied him.Customer wished in heart wd tht he had enuf money n he wd surely hv bought such wonderfl parrots.So, he looked around to buy some cheaper one n pointed a very old,weak parrot in the corner of shop n asked its price.
Salesman:"it is Rs.1 lakh"..
Customer astonishingly:"how come,it is about-to-die damn looking parrot n what the hell are its qualities"?
Salesman innocently:"Sir,we also do not know abt any qualities in this parrot but the problem is that both that multi-lingual n philosopher parrots address this one always respectfully as 'Sir'....

Asslamualaikum,

Khan: Amara bivi am ko chor k chala gya.

Friend: Tum uska khayal nahi rakta hoga?

Khan: o, nai oye! kasam Khuda ka, behan bana k raka tha usko.......!!!!!!!!!

Regards.

__________________
I am he, whom I Love. And he whom I Love is I.

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, annoyed at legislation that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS. Many prominent local politicians were outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement.

He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline:
HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS.

Atraveller walking along a road asked an old man working in a field to how long it would take to get to the next village. But the old man didn’t answer, so the traveller kept walking.

He hadn't gone far when he heard a call: "Hi, mister, it'll take you about 20
minutes".

"Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" asked the traveller.

"How did I know how fast you were going to walk?" replied the old man

__________________
No signature...

Recently my girlfriend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware store. "The owners don't want us hanging out with our friends," she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my brother."

On my first visit, I walked to the customer service desk and asked the older woman there, "Is Karen around?" When she looked at me quizzically, I added, "I'm her brother."

She smiled. "What a nice surprise. I'm Karen's mother."

Our patient in the hospital was a big, burly former officer. Just after surgery, and still half out of it, he became agitated and confused, tearing at his IVs and trying to escape his bed. The nurses gamely attempted to keep him calm, but were losing this battle. That's when my old Air Force training came in handy.

"Colonel!" I commanded. "At ease."

And with that, the colonel fell back to sleep.

__________________
__________________________________
nahin nigah main manzil to justaju hi sahi
nahin wisaal mayassar to arzu hi sahi