Beta:
Yeah pop corn taaway par uchaltay kyun hain???
Baap:
Beta khud he beth kar dekh lo !

Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumhary
aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur
ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.
Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pakistan International Airline (PIA)

Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board of PIA. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery.

This is flight 717 to Lahore. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in Pakistan. And, if luck is in our favour, we may even be landing on your village!

PIA has an excellent safety-record. . In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over 30% of our passengers have reached their destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange
to turn them off! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable,
we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Emirates Airline, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible
for the best view. If however, we go a little too close, do let us know.
Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat- belt, kindly
fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who
can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who
will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.' 'Thanking you all for choosing PIA to fly for the first and probably the last time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Pathan: Jab Ham chota tha tab ham Minaar-e-Pakistan se gir gaya tha
Dosra Pathan: Tum mar gaya tha ya bach gaya tha?
Pathan: Hum ko yaad naheen jab ham chota tha ..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

-2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy....

-Sardar1: Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.

-Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ek Pathan Roz apne kitchen main jata aur sugur box kholta..
aur band kar deta tha !!

Kion ??

Kion ki Doctor ne kaha tha k Apni sugur Roz check karna ..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A FRIEND ASKS 'SARDAR-JI ' ; HOW WAS YOUR EXAM ?
SARDAR-JI : IT WAS O.K. but I couldn't ANSWER PAST TENSE OF ' THINK '
I THOUGHT , I THOUGHT , and I THOUGHT... .. and FINALLY wrote ,
" THUNK . "

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour ,But yaar, he says, I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bush: Mushy my man, i gotta tell ya, my men have told me you got alot of terorrists in your country. We are going to have to bomb your country. Is that ok?
Musharraf: Sure go ahead. Your the President of USA, you do it.

Bush: You sure?
Musharraf: Yeah, your my friend. Im your friend. Do it.

Bush: Great! Remind me whats your capital city again???
Musharraf: New Delhi

__________________
Then let these shivers go on fire...
And these screams go blind...
And you go sore in the eyes your life is an abyss...
Where your shadow reached before You.

Flowing the Ganges river in reverse (ulTi gaNga bahaana)

Opposite, Thief scolds the cop (ulTa, chor KotwaaL ko daaNtaY)

On the Thief are peacocks (chor ko paR gaye mor)

Running thief's mini skirt (bhaagtaY chor kee laNgoTi)

once stealing and then on top, chest forcing (aik tau chori aur ooper saY seena zori)

know or don't know, elder aunt hi hello (jaan naa pehchaan, baRi khala salaam)

Agree or don't agree, I am your guest (maan naa maan, maiN tera mehmaan)

The devil of stable, on monkey's head (TavelaY kee balaa, bander kaY sar)

Do not know how to dance, floor isn't straight (Naach naa jaanaY, Aangun TeRhaa)

make someone dance on the fingers (UngliyoN par nachaanaa)

Not there be any 360 Litre of Oil, nor the Radha will dance (naa nau munn teiL hogaa naa Radhaa naachaY gee)

jootoon samait aankhoon mein ghusnaa (visiting the eyes with shoes on)

Damagh ki lussi bananna (making yogurt drink out of brain)

Dil baagh baagh hona (Heart is garden garden)

sur mundatay hi olaay parRay (hails fell on the newly bald head)

__________________
No matter how fast i run or how far i go it wont escape me, pain, misery, emptiness.

American told sardar: Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab.
Boss: which part?
Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar: Can’t you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
Sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Doctor to Sardar : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar: Yes. A good doctor.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar: Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
__________________________________________________ __________________________
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

EnJoY

Samreen

__________________
CoNfIdEnCe iS
tHe kEY
2WrDs
sUccEESS!!

sAm

Little Johnny's 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet. "Johnny," she said, "What comes after 'O'?"

Johnny said, "Yeah!"
***********************
Tip Revenge

A man finds his seat in the theater, but it's too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip."

The usher moves him to the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."

__________________
__________________________________
nahin nigah main manzil to justaju hi sahi
nahin wisaal mayassar to arzu hi sahi

Aik dafa kafi sardar aik jaga pah akhthay hoy, aur khanay lagy k
yar logon ny hamara mazaq hi bana lia hy.,, jisay daikho hum pah jokes bana k hansta rahta hy...

hum yeh prove karin gy k sardar b aqal main kisi sy kam nahi,, hum b utnay he aqal mand hain, jitnay dosray log....

Unn sardaron ny decide kiya k hum aik Quiz programe rakhtay hain, aur iss programe ko jeet kar yeh prove karin gy k hum b aqal mand hain

So Quiz programe main unn sardaron ny sab sy aqal mand aur zaheen Sardar ko bhaj diya...

Host:.. Sardar jee, What is the sum of 140 and 140
Sardar: jee... 240

Host: no Sardar jee you are wrong it is 280

Suddenly all the sardar in the hall stood up and Shouted..
Aik mouqa aur do, aik mouqa aur do

Host again: Sardar jee what is sum of 170 and 70
Sardar : 140
Host : you are wrong

Again all sardar began shouting,
Aik mouqa aur do aik mouqa aur do

now

Host : Sardar jee What is sum of 40 and 50
Sardar: happily, it's 90
now host opened his mouth to say something but before it
All sardar stood up and shouted
Aik mouqa aur do , aik mouqa aur do

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police constable to his son: tumhara result acha nahi aya, so aj sy tumhara khelna aur TV daikhna band!!

Son:Yeh 50 rupay pakro aur mamla yahin khatam karo....

__________________
"Prejudice is the opinion without judgement"

One very greedy patient admitted into a hindu doc's expensive hospital could not foot the bill once he got discharged.....the hindu doc in return din't allow him leave hospital.....Few days later,the greedy patient hit some million-dollar lottery, n went dancing about all corners of hospital.....

His wife asked,"so my hubby what u planned of our future?"...he replied,"pack up ginni,m here for few more months"...

Japan nay aik robot banaya, us robot ki khasiyat thi keh woh hamesha hansta rehta tha usay kabhi ghussa nahin ata tha Japan nay us ki yeh khasiyat dekh kar poori world ko challenge kar diya keh agar koi is ko ghussa dilayay ga tou hum maan lein gay keh us se bara Tapanay Wala world main koi nahin.................Baray baray countrys k log aatay or us ko ghussa dilana chahatay but ulta ghussay main aa kar usay galiyan detay or chalay jatay...............

Aik Pakistani us k pass gaya or us k Kaan (Ear) main kuch bola tou Robot aik dum chup hogaya or us ki hansi ruk gayee or ghussay say usnay pakistani ko dekha or bola tera baap hoga or us k baad woh gusse say itna garam hogaya keh us main aag lag gayee or woh blast hogaya.................

Sab nay bohat poocha tou pakistani ne bataya keh bhai maine tou is say sirf itna poocha tha...................

Oooeeeeeee kya tum Sardar Jee ho...................?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A boy said to a girl:I can slap you without touching you.
Girl:You can't.
Boy:I can.
Girl:You can't.
Boy:Lag gayee 20,20 Rs ki shart.
Girl:Ok.
(Boy tightly slaps the girl.)
Girl:You have touched me.
Boy:Yeh lo 20 Rs........

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ek Ameer Larki ko School me Gharib Khandaan pay Essay Likhnay ko Kaha Gya.
Essay mein usnay Likha:
Ek Garib Khandaan tha,
Baap Gharib,
Maa Gharib,
Bachay Gharib.
Khandaan mein 4 Naukar thay,
woh bhi Ghareeb.
Car bhi Tutti Hui MERCEDES thi.Unka Gharib Driver Bachon ko Tutti Car mein School Chor K Aata tha.
Bachon K pass Puranay N95 Mobile thay.
Bachay Haftay mein 3 bar Hi Chicken Khatay thay.
Ghar mein 4 Hi 2nd Hand A.C. Thay.
Sara Khandaan Bari Mushkil say Aish Kar raha tha .

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

larki apnay fiance ko ....

main tumharay liyay sub kuch chor sakti hoon
larka : kia kia ... bataoo
larki : sub kuch
larka : maan bap behan bhai ghar ... sub kuch ?
larki : han sub kuch
larka : kia tum star plus kay dramay bhi dekhna chor sakti ho ??????
larki : munh sambhal kay bat karoo jahil insan.

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a
family meeting...on a Saturday morning...after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I
do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile

Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!!!!!!

__________________
The Me you have always known, the Me that's a stranger still.

Lady to Sikh inspector : My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Inspector: Why don't u cook something else.

---------------------------------------

Sardar: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Friend: Whats he studying?"
Sardar: He's not studying, they are studying him!