[QUOTE=MisbahMalik;512537][B][CENTER]Life is action, not contemplation[/CENTER][/B]

Life, a strange mystery, explored by many yet understood by few. Desires and dreams surround throughout our lives. For the realization of our dreams we set goals. However, setting goals is only the first step. We have to get through some tough time, need to struggle, take necessary actions for achieving our goals. Nothing can be achieved without action.

Sheikh Chilli is a well known character of our stories. Once he was going to sell some milk. On his way to market, he thought that after selling the milk he [COLOR="SeaGreen"]will [/COLOR]buy few eggs, after some time he [COLOR="seagreen"]will[/COLOR] get chicks out of them and then hens out of those chicks. After a time he [COLOR="seagreen"]will[/COLOR] have enough hens; by selling those hens he [COLOR="seagreen"]will [/COLOR]buy a cow and then many cows. One day he [COLOR="seagreen"]will[/COLOR] be a rich man of the town. Suddenly his foot struck with a stone and all the milk split on the road. [COLOR="seagreen"]Sheikh Chilli left[/COLOR] with his contemplation which was of no use.

Therefore, success and achievement requires pure actions, struggle and hard work. Contemplations and plans are useless [COLOR="seagreen"]with[/COLOR] actions and practical work. There is a famous saying, “Life is not a destination but a continuous journey”. Hence, a nonstop journey requires practical steps in order to make it a successful journey. The Quaid-e-azam, our great leader, always emphasized on hard work in life. One of his famous sayings, “work, work and more work”. His own life [COLOR="seagreen"]is[/COLOR] an example of his saying. This was the reason he attained his major aim in the form of our beloved motherland, Pakistan.

Conclusively, contemplation alone is of no use until it is highlighted by struggle and hard work. [COLOR="seagreen"]This[/COLOR] is action that is of primary importance however, contemplation is the first step that provides a base to a successful action. Therefore, life is marked with action, not contemplation alone.[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"][B][SIZE="3"][FONT="Trebuchet MS"]. It was better If you had presented an example based on facts rather than fiction.
It is good story but it has taken too much of expansion. Isn't it? You presented the story in an indirect way, was it not better to use Would instead of will?

. Overall, good efforts. Well done. Keep it up. :)[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;512742][COLOR="DarkRed"][B][SIZE="3"][FONT="Trebuchet MS"]. It was better If you had presented an example based on facts rather than fiction.
It is good story but it has taken too much of expansion. Isn't it? You presented the story in an indirect way, was it not better to use Would instead of will?
[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

I accept all the suggestions. :) thanks.

[quote]His own life [B]is[/B] an example of his saying[/quote]

I thought twice while writing "is" as Quaid's life [B]is[/B] still an example.

@da skeptic
 

you seriously need to calm down and one shouldn't have any qualms in accepting mistakes. anyways peace out

Love is timeless [COLOR="green"]that is not dependent to the proximity of humans[/COLOR] (INCORRECT).

[B]will you like to correct it and define grammatical rule of it please![/B]


It is love that binds humans worldwide.[COLOR="Blue"]People in love are closer to Allah regardless of place[/COLOR] (PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH WHO??


[B]Can`t we use nouns as general? if not then why? In case if we don`t use which you will define ,i have mentioned people in respective lines![/B]

USE GOD INSTEAD OF ALLAH). The church [COLOR="green"]symbolists [/COLOR](SYMBOLISES) [COLOR="green"]the [/COLOR]closeness towards [COLOR="green"]Allah[/COLOR](GOD).Most people who live in mosques have emptied heart.[COLOR="green"]All worships proceeds from heart ,and without devotion these are of no worth[/COLOR].[COLOR="green"]One should has ka`ba in heart of one`s own .[/COLOR]Those who love the creation [COLOR="green"]of Might are closer to Allah rather residing in the Holy places.
[/COLOR]
[B]
If you are going to highlight something then you should have to correct it by defining it what type of mistake it has .It might be of clause or some adverbial -- you should ![/B]

[COLOR="green"]In past times[/COLOR] ,[COLOR="green"]Monks claimed for love of [COLOR="green"]Might [/COLOR]but in fact they had manipulated it for worldly interset[/COLOR].[COLOR="Blue"]It is narrated in Holy Quran as well[/COLOR].( 'IT' WHAT).


[B]The word ''it'' is pronoun .Hope you know when i have used it then there must be a link with previous sentence .[/B]

Whereas Hazrat Luqman was neither [COLOR="green"]prophet[/COLOR](P.B.U.H) nor [COLOR="green"]Iman [/COLOR],but [COLOR="green"]the [/COLOR]was true lover of Allah.Hazrat Owais Qarni (r.a) never saw our beloved prophet(P.BU.H) nor met with the Ashaba (R.A).He embraced Islam with the insight of heart .[COLOR="green"]He loved with his mother and that sublime love made him closer to Allah and faith.
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="green"]So hearts should be abode of Might[/COLOR] and love towards mankind.[COLOR="green"]It is real worship which close one`s towards Allah[/COLOR] .Allah talah swt has said that one who will love [COLOR="green"]his [/COLOR](His) creation will love [COLOR="green"]him(Him)[/COLOR]a[COLOR="green"]nd who have enmity with them ,will have for Him.[/COLOR]

[B]what are the mistakes ? ?[/B]

YOU DIDN'T GET WHAT THE PROVERB MEANS

[B]we have generalized the fact people who live near holy places are closer to Allah rather who live somewhere else .In fact they are not !

if this is not true then tell it to me. [/B]

IT SEEMS MORE LIKE AN ESSAY ON LOVE FOR ALLAH AND HIS CREATION THAN THE GIVEN TOPIC.


[B]how it seems to be ?[/B]
YOUR OPENING SENTENCES MAKE NO SENSE.

[B]please correct this particular sentence[/B]
SENTENCES HIGHLIGHTED IN RED ARE INCORRECT
THIS IS AN ENGLISH EXPANSION NOT AN ISLAMIYAT EXAM.


what can i say .. can you guide me about its content ?

[QUOTE=MisbahMalik;512847]I accept all the suggestions. :) thanks.



I thought twice while writing "is" as Quaid's life [B]is[/B] still an example.[/QUOTE]
[COLOR="SeaGreen"]
The Quaid-e-azam, our great leader, always emphasized on hard work in life. One of his famous sayings, “work, work and more work”. His own life [B][U]is[/U][/B] an example of his saying. This was the reason he attained his major aim in the form of our beloved motherland, Pakistan. [/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]It is all about Quaid's past. So, it was better to give was instead of is. Was looks correct to me. You can ask any senior. :)) [/COLOR]

@sadia shafiq
 

1. Love is timeless that is not dependent to the proximity of humans (INCORRECT).

the word 'proximity' doesn't fit in this sentence. Sometimes a word is accurately used in a sentence where as when its synonym is used, the sentence ceases to make any sense. i hope you get what i mean to say. for example: they live in close proximity to each other.

it is advisable if your opening sentence is either a quotation or you telling the meaning of the proverb. why have you talked about love and how it isn't dependent on nearness of humans.

this proverb implies that a person who indulges in prayers day and night is not necessarily righteous and pious. it can also be construed that God is Omnipresent but we (humans) place too much importance on material buildings.

Your expansion shouldn't be based on Allah and Islam. you can give an example of Islam but for the purposed of the expansion stick to God. For Jews it would be,nearer the synagogue, the farther from God.

2. It is love that binds humans worldwide.People in love are closer to Allah regardless of place (PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH WHO??)

Again use God instead of Allah. You have repeatedly mentioned 'people in love', people in love with what ?? people in love with other people, people in love with nature, people in love with wildlife, in love with what ? Not everything is about right or wrong grammar, your ideas should make sense.

3. In past times [COLOR="Blue"],Monks claimed for love of Might[/COLOR] but in fact they had [COLOR="Blue"]manipulated it for worldly interset[/COLOR].It is narrated in Holy Quran as well.( 'IT' WHAT).

Monks claimed for love of Might is Wrong!
Might means power, force. i guess you meant Almighty(having absolute power).
Correction: Monks claimed their love the Almighty.

interset means To set between or among. wrong use of this word.

[COLOR="Blue"]IT[/COLOR] is narrated in the Quran, (IT being monks claiming their love for God etc) and Quran doesnt talk about monks manipulating their love for worldly benefits etc.


4. Whereas Hazrat Luqman was neither prophet(P.B.U.H) ( USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor Iman (Imam) ,but the (HE) was (A) true lover of Allah.Hazrat Owais Qarni (r.a) never (USE NEITHER INSTEAD OF NEVER) saw our beloved prophet(P.BU.H) (USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor met with the(OMIT WITH THE) Ashaba (R.A).He embraced Islam with[COLOR="Blue"] the insight of heart[/COLOR] (WRONG USE OF INSIGHT) .He loved with(OMIT WITH) his mother and that sublime love made him closer to Allah and faith. (HOW DOES LOVE WITH HIS MOTHER MAKE HIM CLOSER TO ALLAH ???)

So (OMIT SO) hearts [COLOR="Blue"]should be abode of Might[/COLOR] ( HEARTS SHOULD BE THE ABODE OF ALLAH'S REMEMBRANCE) and love towards mankind.It is real worship which close one`s towards Allah(DOESN'T MAKE SENSE- WHAT DID YOU INTEND TO WRITE) .Allah [COLOR="Blue"]talah swt [/COLOR](OMIT) has said that one who will love his (His) creation will love him(Him)and who have enmity with them ,will have for Him.(ALLAH SAYS IN THE QURAN THAT ONE WHO LOVES HIM WILL LOVE HIS CREATION LOVES HIM AND HE WHO OPPRESSES HIS CREATION HAS INDEED DISOBEYED HIM).


*My heart is my church. (Thomas Paine)
you can use this quote.

Really hope this answers your queries.
Not everything is about grammar, one cannot memorize grammar and apply it in every sentence to check whether it's right or wrong. one should write in a flow. develop a habit of reading, that will help you a lot. Let me know if i can be of further help

[QUOTE=Natashaaa;512951]1. Love is timeless that is not dependent to the proximity of humans (INCORRECT).

the word 'proximity' doesn't fit in this sentence. Sometimes a word is accurately used in a sentence where as when its synonym is used, the sentence ceases to make any sense. i hope you get what i mean to say. for example: they live in close proximity to each other.

it is advisable if your opening sentence is either a quotation or you telling the meaning of the proverb. why have you talked about love and how it isn't dependent on nearness of humans.

this proverb implies that a person who indulges in prayers day and night is not necessarily righteous and pious. it can also be construed that God is Omnipresent but we (humans) place too much importance on material buildings.

Your expansion shouldn't be based on Allah and Islam. you can give an example of Islam but for the purposed of the expansion stick to God. For Jews it would be,nearer the synagogue, the farther from God.

2. It is love that binds humans worldwide.People in love are closer to Allah regardless of place (PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH WHO??)

Again use God instead of Allah. You have repeatedly mentioned 'people in love', people in love with what ?? people in love with other people, people in love with nature, people in love with wildlife, in love with what ? Not everything is about right or wrong grammar, your ideas should make sense.

3. In past times [COLOR="Blue"],Monks claimed for love of Might[/COLOR] but in fact they had [COLOR="Blue"]manipulated it for worldly interset[/COLOR].It is narrated in Holy Quran as well.( 'IT' WHAT).

Monks claimed for love of Might is Wrong!
Might means power, force. i guess you meant Almighty(having absolute power).
Correction: Monks claimed their love the Almighty.

interset means To set between or among. wrong use of this word.

[COLOR="Blue"]IT[/COLOR] is narrated in the Quran, (IT being monks claiming their love for God etc) and Quran doesnt talk about monks manipulating their love for worldly benefits etc.


4. Whereas Hazrat Luqman was neither prophet(P.B.U.H) ( USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor Iman (Imam) ,but the (HE) was (A) true lover of Allah.Hazrat Owais Qarni (r.a) never (USE NEITHER INSTEAD OF NEVER) saw our beloved prophet(P.BU.H) (USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor met with the(OMIT WITH THE) Ashaba (R.A).He embraced Islam with[COLOR="Blue"] the insight of heart[/COLOR] (WRONG USE OF INSIGHT) .He loved with(OMIT WITH) his mother and that sublime love made him closer to Allah and faith. (HOW DOES LOVE WITH HIS MOTHER MAKE HIM CLOSER TO ALLAH ???)

So (OMIT SO) hearts [COLOR="Blue"]should be abode of Might[/COLOR] ( HEARTS SHOULD BE THE ABODE OF ALLAH'S REMEMBRANCE) and love towards mankind.It is real worship which close one`s towards Allah(DOESN'T MAKE SENSE- WHAT DID YOU INTEND TO WRITE) .Allah [COLOR="Blue"]talah swt [/COLOR](OMIT) has said that one who will love his (His) creation will love him(Him)and who have enmity with them ,will have for Him.(ALLAH SAYS IN THE QURAN THAT ONE WHO LOVES HIM WILL LOVE HIS CREATION LOVES HIM AND HE WHO OPPRESSES HIS CREATION HAS INDEED DISOBEYED HIM).


*My heart is my church. (Thomas Paine)
you can use this quote.

Really hope this answers your queries.
Not everything is about grammar, one cannot memorize grammar and apply it in every sentence to check whether it's right or wrong. one should write in a flow. develop a habit of reading, that will help you a lot. Let me know if i can be of further help[/QUOTE]


Thanx for explaining ... I will write it again .. then please check it;)

[QUOTE=SADIA SHAFIQ;512955]Thanx for explaining ... I will write it again .. then please check it;)[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]Yes, do write again. :) I am also improving my expressions and grammar. You can take idea from the very expansion of mine. [/COLOR]

[B][COLOR="SeaGreen"]The Nearer the Church the Farther From God (Expansion 2012)[/COLOR][/B]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]Hundreds years of worship are useless without true love. Those who live days and nights in churches, and world dwells in their hearts; God is very far away from them. The only bond which makes bondage between God and Man of God is love. Worship goes futile without love. Those who live in churches, temples and mosques, and love for God is not in their hearts, God is farther from them.

When there was no time, cause, season, theory and reason, there was an existence of love. This entire cosmos is created for love. God is lover, and He loves the lovers not worshipers. The Satan is known as the greatest worshiper of God but God is farther from him. Satan is worshiper not lover. Moulana Jalal Din Rumi says, “Without love, all worship is a burden.” Indeed, those who live in the place of worship, they are not the pious, unless they are lovers of God.


This is not just for Christians but for all. The Nearer the Temple The Farther From Buddha or the Nearer the Mosque The Farther From Allah. The prophet Mohammad PBUH says, “"Worship your Lord as if you see him during worship, and if you cannot do that, then worship as if He sees you " In both conditions, the world doesn't come in one's mind. If one cannot take one condition, then, it is like The Nearer the Church the Farther From God.


All the mystics, Sufi and pious people of the world have given value to love. They believe if God is not present in one's heart, and one prays days and nights; one is an infidel. As Maruf Kerkhi PBUH says, “If you pray and World comes in your mind, then, you prostrate to world.”[/COLOR]

[QUOTE=Natashaaa;512951]1. Love is timeless that is not dependent to the proximity of humans (INCORRECT).

the word 'proximity' doesn't fit in this sentence. Sometimes a word is accurately used in a sentence where as when its synonym is used, the sentence ceases to make any sense. i hope you get what i mean to say. for example: they live in close proximity to each other.

it is advisable if your opening sentence is either a quotation or you telling the meaning of the proverb. why have you talked about love and how it isn't dependent on nearness of humans.

this proverb implies that a person who indulges in prayers day and night is not necessarily righteous and pious. it can also be construed that God is Omnipresent but we (humans) place too much importance on material buildings.

Your expansion shouldn't be based on Allah and Islam. you can give an example of Islam but for the purposed of the expansion stick to God. For Jews it would be,nearer the synagogue, the farther from God.

2. It is love that binds humans worldwide.People in love are closer to Allah regardless of place (PEOPLE IN LOVE WITH WHO??)

Again use God instead of Allah. You have repeatedly mentioned 'people in love', people in love with what ?? people in love with other people, people in love with nature, people in love with wildlife, in love with what ? Not everything is about right or wrong grammar, your ideas should make sense.

3. In past times [COLOR="Blue"],Monks claimed for love of Might[/COLOR] but in fact they had [COLOR="Blue"]manipulated it for worldly interset[/COLOR].It is narrated in Holy Quran as well.( 'IT' WHAT).

Monks claimed for love of Might is Wrong!
Might means power, force. i guess you meant Almighty(having absolute power).
Correction: Monks claimed their love the Almighty.

interset means To set between or among. wrong use of this word.

[COLOR="Blue"]IT[/COLOR] is narrated in the Quran, (IT being monks claiming their love for God etc) and Quran doesnt talk about monks manipulating their love for worldly benefits etc.


4. Whereas Hazrat Luqman was neither prophet(P.B.U.H) ( USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor Iman (Imam) ,but the (HE) was (A) true lover of Allah.Hazrat Owais Qarni (r.a) never (USE NEITHER INSTEAD OF NEVER) saw our beloved prophet(P.BU.H) (USE CAPITAL P, Prophet) nor met with the(OMIT WITH THE) Ashaba (R.A).He embraced Islam with[COLOR="Blue"] the insight of heart[/COLOR] (WRONG USE OF INSIGHT) .He loved with(OMIT WITH) his mother and that sublime love made him closer to Allah and faith. (HOW DOES LOVE WITH HIS MOTHER MAKE HIM CLOSER TO ALLAH ???)

So (OMIT SO) hearts [COLOR="Blue"]should be abode of Might[/COLOR] ( HEARTS SHOULD BE THE ABODE OF ALLAH'S REMEMBRANCE) and love towards mankind.It is real worship which close one`s towards Allah(DOESN'T MAKE SENSE- WHAT DID YOU INTEND TO WRITE) .Allah [COLOR="Blue"]talah swt [/COLOR](OMIT) has said that one who will love his (His) creation will love him(Him)and who have enmity with them ,will have for Him.(ALLAH SAYS IN THE QURAN THAT ONE WHO LOVES HIM WILL LOVE HIS CREATION LOVES HIM AND HE WHO OPPRESSES HIS CREATION HAS INDEED DISOBEYED HIM).


*My heart is my church. (Thomas Paine)
you can use this quote.

Really hope this answers your queries.
Not everything is about grammar, one cannot memorize grammar and apply it in every sentence to check whether it's right or wrong. one should write in a flow. develop a habit of reading, that will help you a lot. Let me know if i can be of further help[/QUOTE]

surah tooba me monks ke description he

@sadia shafiq
 

Surah Taubah talks about two things:

1. Christians and Jews taking monks and rabbis as their Gods besides Allah.
2. Monks using up people's wealth and hindering them to follow Allah. monks never claimed their love for Allah Almighty, neither did they believe in Oneness of Allah which is the basic tenet of Islam. the monks did their best to deviate people from the path of Allah.

And do write again, that is the key to improvement.
All the best:)