@ Acme; very Well done!

@ CSP
According to my analysis; Brother, it seem dull. Use any alternative.

There should be ( ; ) after Law.

Brother, If we don't make mistake and criticize by seniors than how can we learn. I give you 5/10

Regards,

-----------------------

Try to boil it down,

Exercise # 04
Page : 45

Ghandi does not reject machinery as such. He observes: How can I be against all machinery, When I know that even this body is a most delicate piece of machinery ? The spinning wheel is a machinery, a little tooth-pick is a machine. What I object to is the craze for machinery not machinery as such. The craze is for what they call labour saving machinery. Men go on "Saving Labour " till thousands are without work and thrown on the open streets to die of starvation. I want to save time and labour not for a fraction of mankind but for all. I want the concentration of wealth, not in the hands of a few but in the hands of all. Today machinery merely helps a few to ride on the back of millions. The impetus behind it all is not the philanthropy to save labour but greed. it is against this constitution of things that I am fighting with all my limbs of man. factories run by power driven machinery should be nationalized, self-controlled. The Supreme consideration is man.


Regards,

Ghandi was not opposed to machinery but of its unfettered pursuit. In his view, even if mechanization was economical yet it caused unemployment and catalyzed poverty. Since his focus was emancipation of a common man therefore Ghandi was a strong advocate of circulation of wealth and Nationalization of industries, for which he toiled laboriously.

Title:

1. Ghandi: A great philanthropist
2. Popular Misconception about Ghandi

Selected Title: Ghandi: A great Philanthropist

__________________
There is Nothing Worse than Aggressive Stupidity!!!

The importance of machinery does not defy by Ghandi, But conversion of human power to machinery work is criticized. Industrialist greed cut down the labor to earn more and; labor were left on streets to kick the bucket. Ghandi acknowledge the superiority of human over machinery and advices not let the machinery takeover the labor.


Note: Kindly correct me if i am wrong, I think with verb Superiority, it is essential to use TO.



Woaw, Guy !! 10/10 . Much better

Leopard, Kindly give some hints, How to write good precise. because your precise is accurate and brief passage of the original paragraph. And how much marks did you get in Composition paper?

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كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ - Every Soul Must Have The Taste Of Death

Here is my attempt. plz check it seniors. Thanks

Ghandi realizes the importance of machine and appreciates it; but he discourages its preference over man. He visualizes the apathy of man’s labor for the so called saving of labor and time. In his opinion, machine is helping the wealthy class just in hoarding wealth; but depriving the poor. Ghandi heightens superbly the dignity of man and labor. (58 words)

Title: Ghandi’s view about Machinery


Note: As i use simple vocabulary, so plz seniors suggest me is it ok or should i go for the tough one ?

Regards,
Ali

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Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ( Benjamin Disraeli )

Aslam o Aaikum,

Thank you brother Bunko for appreciating my efforts. Coming to your question that how to write a good precise, I would only say that first of all comprehend the theme of that passage and then simply re-write it in your own words; avoid using adjectives or extra words when you can do it without them; Use expressive verbs and write short but comprehensive sentences.... I don't know whether or not my advice will help you but I can only demonstrate my skill through practice like I 've done above....

Nice Effort from your side and other members.... Keep it up and keep practising.... More & more.....


@ CSP

Brother You write well but there is much room for improvement as well.
Using High profile vocabulary is not at all an issue in precis, in fact the examiner appreciates easy-to-comprehend words provided if they completely express the gist of original paragraph.
Coming to your precis, I think I would be better if you write it in past tense.


first of all the words outlined in red colour do not serve the purpose in the above sentence. The word "So Called" was totally unnecessay and superfluous (avoid digression in precis); "Labor and time" can be written as "Cost effective" or "Economical"; the word "for" completely changes the meaning of this sentence - isn't it???

I think you are confused in using punctuation marks; semi colon ( ; ) is normally not followed by connectors like 'But' or 'and" ....

Last but not the least, You have overemphasized on word "Machine". The passage is written about "mechanization" as a process and not merely on "Machinery" as a noun.

That was my point of view according to the limited knowledge that I 've....

Anyways, Keep working hard.... Practice is the key

Wish you all good luck....

Regards

__________________
There is Nothing Worse than Aggressive Stupidity!!!

@Leopard

Thanks for the detailed review of my attempt.

It was just my 2nd attempt and i hope to do well in the near future.

You have raised good points and i will try to improve these ones.

Thanks again and hope that you will keep me guiding in future as well.

Regards,

Ali

__________________
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ( Benjamin Disraeli )

Thanks for your reply; brother.

But please let Us know;

1) Can we use Idioms in precise ? like i did.
2) According to you, Where can we use ; (Semi-Column) ?



Regards,

__________________
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ - Every Soul Must Have The Taste Of Death

@ Bunko,

Aslam o Alaikum,

Well brother semi-colon is normally used in a sentence as follow:

Semicolons are followed by a lower case letter, unless that letter is the first letter of a proper noun. They have no spaces before them, but one or two spaces after. Applications of the semicolon in English include:

• Between closely-related independent clauses not conjoined with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, and so.):

1. "I went to the swimming pool; I was told it was closed for routine maintenance."
2. "A man chooses; a slave obeys."

• Between independent clauses linked with a transitional phrase or a conjunctive adverb: (A conjunctive adverb connects two clauses and shows cause and effect, sequence, contrast, comparison, or other relationships.)

1. "I like to eat cows; however, I don't like to be eaten by them."

• Between items in a series or listing containing internal punctuation, especially parenthetic commas, where the semicolons function as serial commas:

1. "She saw three men: Donald, who came from New Zealand; John, the milkman's son; and George, a gaunt kind of man."
2. "Several fast food restaurants can be found in each of London, England; Paris, France; Dublin, Ireland; and Madrid, Spain."
3. "Examples of familiar sequences are: one, two, and three; a, b, and c; and first, second, and third."

Since it is a very complex field (I mean Punctuation) so unless you are not cocksure about any such mark's usage, don't use it especially in Grammar paper because in other papers the examiner may not point out your mistake but in grammar paper he won't spare you!!!


Regarding using idiom in a precis, I will say that if it matches with the flow of your expression than there is no harm otherwise don't overburden your precis with idioms or idiomatic pharases; however, you can use expressive verbs to convey the meaning!!!
Hope i 've made myself clear!!!

__________________
There is Nothing Worse than Aggressive Stupidity!!!

It seems tough, Try to boil it down;
Hard nut to crack

Exercise # 03
Page : 47

The young leading the young is like the blind leading the blind; they will both fall into the ditch. The only sure guide is he who has often gone the road which you want to go. Let me be that guide: Who has gone all roads, and who can consequently point out to the best. If you ask me why i went any of the bad roads myself; I will answer you truly; that it was for want of a good guide; ill example invited me one way, and a good guide was wanting to show me better. But if anybody, capable of advising me, had taken some pains with me which I have taken, and will continue to take, with you, I should have avoided many follies and inconveniences, which undirected youth ran me into.

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كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ - Every Soul Must Have The Taste Of Death

Here goes my humble attempt. Please check it seniors.

At the crossroad of youth, victim is often betrayed in the absence of an earnest guide. Guide, who has faced the lashing winds of the path, crossed its impediments at the expense of his injured body and soul. Redemption from this youth-trauma only lies in following the guide. (48 words)

Sincere Guide – a remedy for Youth dilemma

@bunko: did I succeed to hit the nut brother?

Thanks and Regards ,

Ali

__________________
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ( Benjamin Disraeli )