#341
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Outlines are good, but ........... the introduction was very very confusing, again, every piece of sentence was wandering here and there, and to the major extent, i was unable to understand it. Here are few examples There must be special training for Talibans [B][COLOR="Black"]to remove brain washing of miserable people in the Religious Institutes. Pakistan is condemned as barbaric act of extremism and militancy To eradicate such violence and fear in our society to lead out from domsday. now almost in all of above mentioned sentences, there is no proper linkage between parts of sentence. No punctuation. Again i will strongly suggest you , do not use difficult words. Just write your thoughts in simple plane English. Sooner you will be able to handle complex sentences. Remember simple but correct essay can satisfy reader about 50% but complex but confusing essay will make the mater even more worse. Just write simple, donot copy other members style as you are making your writing even more worse by doing so. I will be waiting for your next attempt. I hope i will be facing simple but logical attempt from you .. Best of luck |
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mehjabeen karim (Friday, May 10, 2013) |
#342
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Extremism and militancy in our society-Its Causes And Remedies
1-INTRODUCTION 2-WHAT IS EXTREMISM (simply I will have to define it that extremism are the people who are anti-state elements and working for their wasted interests) 3-ISLAM'S RESPONSE TO EXTREMISM (Islam does not support extremism; according to Holdy Qur'an, Hadith and Ulemas Extremism is not allowed in Islam) 4-WHAT DOES DO EXTREMIST & WHO ARE THEY? a-They destroy wealth and lives for their own wrested interests b-Different ways to cause terror as bombing, killing c-Gaining political motives d-To escalate religious and ethnic differences f-Extremist may be national and international 5-CAUSES OF EXTREMISM & MILITANCY I-I. Internal Causes a) Socio-Economic Causes i) Injustice: ii) Illiteracy: iii) Poverty And Unemployment: iv) Food Insecurity: v) Dissatisfaction: b) Political Causes: i) Non-Democratic Set-Up: ii) Improper Government Set-Up iii) Absence Of Law And Failure Of Law Enforcement Agencies: c) Religious Causes: i) Role Of Madrassahs: ii) Religious Intolerance: II. External Causes a) Afghan War: 1979 b) Iranian Revolution: c) War on Terrorism: 9/11 6- FACTORS BOOSTING EXTREMISM: a) Anti-Terrorism Campaign And Drone Strikes: b) Negligence of Government: c) Persecution of Innocent Muslims in Kashmir and Palestine: 7- Steps Taken By Pakistan: a) Ban On Terrorist Organizations b) Operation Rah-E-Nijat c) Operation Rah-E-Rast 8- SEVERE IMPACT OF EXTREMISM : a) Civilian Loss b) Economic Cost Of Terrorism: i) Agriculture Loss: ii) Manufacturing Cost: iii) Declining Foreign Direct Investment: iv) Diminishing Tourism: v) Internally Displaced People/internal Migration c) Social Unrest: (Social problems increase i.e. theft, target kiling etc d) Political Impacts: (derailing democracy e) Far reaching Psychological Impacts: (suicide, people are becoming psychological patients f) Religious Impacts: (Molvi sahibans palying a pivotal role in it 9-SUGGESTIONS a)Peaceful resolution of political disputes: Kashmir and Palestine and Afghanistan b) Stop state extremism c) Deterring states from sponsoring extremism d) End of USA double standard e) Un should be reinforced and strengthen f) IMF, WB , ABD ,WTO should be restructured g) Policy of engagement and negotiation h) Will to eradicate extremism i) Regional approach j) To eliminate extremsim sources of income k) Unemployment and poverty elimination l) Improvement of quality education m) Review of law and order situation n)Role of media should be widen 10-CONCLUSINO "Pappa Papppa talk to me", says a little boy with tears in his eyes but his father can't answer because he is no more owing to an act of extremists; drone attack and killing of many innocent people; young girl is kidnapped rapped and killed. Extremists and terrorists are killing innocent ulemas, politicians, stake holders and common citizens awfully in the name of targeted killing for their wasted interests. On the one hand luxury lives of political actors like kings and queens of dreamworld and on the other hand a young hungry girl looking for food in the trash of a famous fast food restaurant to quench the fire of her hunger and a boy with dirty hands working in a garage to fulfill the basic needs of his poor family. An unending queue of humans with dead bodies on road ready to kill or be killed' protesting and suddenly an other exclusive and live footage of a bomb blast showing flesh and blood everywhere and per-planned talk shows of political actors on pity issues and laughing after that. This is neither a trailer of an action movie nor an excerpt from a novel. This is a true picture of world's Seventh Nuclear Power, one of the richest countries in coal and gas reserves-Pakistan, which is facing extremism and militancy's problem in our society. All active and new members are highly requested to take out my mistakes and check it out in detail, I will highly be thankful to you...Thanks... |
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sidra naveed (Friday, May 10, 2013) |
#343
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__________________
Where peace And rest can never dwell, hope never comes That comes to all. |
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dms672 (Monday, May 13, 2013) |
#344
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Well, this time it was quite easy for me to understand you. It was really good to read that in fact. Your outlines are really well and organized. But still in one of your sentence, you never cared about punctuation, For instance "On the one hand luxury lives of political actors like kings and queens of dreamworld and on the other hand a young hungry girl looking for food in the trash of a famous fast food restaurant to quench the fire of her hunger and a boy with dirty hands working in a garage to fulfill the basic needs of his poor family. An unending queue of humans with dead bodies on road ready to kill or be killed' protesting and suddenly an other exclusive and live footage of a bomb blast showing flesh and blood everywhere and per-planned talk shows of political actors on pity issues and laughing after that.. This is longest sentences in English History, i must say. Remember in order to get reader continuous attention, never ever try to write lengthy sentences, and if you are doing it, then be extra careful about punctuation. If it is only about writing style, then today your's attempt was really good but do not you think you only depicted a worse situation of terrorism? . I didnot find any causes, remedies or suggestions in your introduction. |
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dms672 (Monday, May 13, 2013) |
#345
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@ Saqib Bangash
Thanks for checking out my attempt, I try to mention current happenings, the reality of our society due to Extremism and militancy in my introduction. However, I think there is no need to mention causes, suggestions in introduction. In simple words, our introduction must be good enough to support our topic and it must be to the point. As far as causes and suggestions are concerned, after introduction we will have to write down its causes, effects and suggestions. As per my assumption it is not a suitable thing to mention each and every thing in our introduction. As sir shakeel said that we must be concise in our introduction. I request you to mention your assumption of introduction. What is needed in our introduction, please let me know I will highly be thankful to you. Thanks again to check out my attempt in a detail, I will be looking forward to you for checking out my attempt in the upcoming essays. Thanks. Quote:
Firstly, I am really thankful to you for pinpointing my mistakes. Secondly, Yes major problem is extremist. May be so far I am unable to get you. Please would let me know about 'militancy'. What does it means, and what should I had to mention for this topic. Thanks.. |
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Saqib Bangash (Thursday, May 16, 2013) |
#346
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kindly differentiate extremism, militancy and terrorism
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Saqib Bangash (Thursday, May 16, 2013) |
#347
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Overall its a nice attempt. Saqib Bangash has rightly pointed out some of your mistakes already. Try to be crystal clear in your ideas, and just play with words. You are doing good job. Keep it up. Thanks. I request other brothers and sisters to attempt their essay. So that we can continue smoothly. Both Sir Shakeel and Faisal are highly requested to attempt their essay and please post new topic. Thanks. |
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mehjabeen karim (Monday, May 13, 2013) |
#348
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__________________
Hota hai magar mehnat-e-parwaz say roshan.. Ye nuqta k gardoon say zameen door nahi hai.. |
#349
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I am sorry dear friends. I was very busy for few days that is why could not take part in discussions.
__________________
Hota hai magar mehnat-e-parwaz say roshan.. Ye nuqta k gardoon say zameen door nahi hai.. |
#350
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__________________
Hota hai magar mehnat-e-parwaz say roshan.. Ye nuqta k gardoon say zameen door nahi hai.. |
The Following User Says Thank You to shakeel ghori For This Useful Post: | ||
dms672 (Tuesday, May 14, 2013) |
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