•Husband asks his wife do u know the definition of wife?
Wife says: wife is life.
husband: no i will tell u the full form of WIFE: worries invited for ever

•A man went to police station to report that his wife was lost & missing. There he found another person reporting the same.
The police man asked the person who was there earlier, "How does your wife look like??"
That man replied, "She is a smart, good looking woman, 5 feet 8 inch, 36-28-32, beautiful & attractive body with blonde hairs"
Police man noted down those details and asked the other person, "What does your wife look like?"
He said in excitement, "Forget mine, let's go and find his wife!!!"


Regards.

Husband asks, Do u know the meaning of WIFE. It means...
Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE on hearing this says, it could also mean-
With Idiot For Ever.

Regards.

__________________
Mehaak Butt

@ M3h@k!
Its really nice critic joke.....Well i just add here a sentence on part of husband. Husband also relates somewhat with Hansi-Band.It what I observed in most cases;-)

__________________
No One is Perfect!
So IM No One

What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE -
In both caseS you feel "aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta"

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the
wife looks over at him and asks a bold question.
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --
HUSBAND: "Shit."

Regards.

__________________
Mehaak Butt

chai wala sing:bholi si surat,ankhon mein masti ,dur khadi sharmaaye -aye hai ...........ladki:kali si surat,hath mein ketli, dur khada chillaye-chai chai
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Teacher : Write yr father's name in english
Sardar :it is beautiful red underwear
Teacher : ru joking?
Sardar : No his name is sundar lal chadda

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

A sardar went to a radio shop ans shouted:
Kameeno mein ne tum se PHILIPS ka radio manga tha is ko on karo to bolta he
YE ALL INDIA RADIO HE!!!!!
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A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $56 change.
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EK sher BY doctor=Hoon mai doctor jahan,meri wife hai nurse waha,Yeh kaisa julm sehna PADTA hai,mujhe apni wife ko SISTER KEHNA PADTA hai..**
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A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.

His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"

"Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"

"Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000."

"That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???"

"Don't worry hon," Mom said, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"
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Types of computer viruses
Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.
George Bush virus: Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance.


UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.
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For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.

Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself."

And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

__________________
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind and whacks him on the back of his head with a huge frying pan.

Man: "what was this for?"

Wife: "what was that piece of paper in ur pants pocket with the name Barbara Ann on it?"

Man "oh honey, remember two weeks ago when i went to the horse races? Barbara ann was the name of the horses i bet on?

the wife looks satisfied, apologises and goes off to finish her work..

three days later he is once again sitting in his chair reading and she rpeats the frying pan swatting.

Man: what the heck was that for this time?"

wife: "your horse called".

__________________
_____________________________________________

A Man Would Do Nothing,
If He Waited Until He
Could Do It So Well
That No One Would Find Fault
With What He Has Done.

Funny.....V Funny.

Here's one....

Husband while reading his Newspaper says to his wife: " The baby's nose is running."

Wife hits him one the head with the same frying-pan and says: "How many times have I told you not to gamble our money away at the Horses?"

__________________
There are only two people in this world whose opinion I care about: One of them is ME and YOU are NOT the other!

Ek Gadha:- yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.
Dusara Gadha:- to tu bhag kyu nahi jata.
Pehla Gadha:- Bhag to jata par yahan future bada bright hai ... malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai, "teri shadi gadhe se kar dunga...!" bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon.

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ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ