@Aristotle: excuse me brother but what's that suppose to mean??????Of whom have I in God's name ever made fun?

God does have a sense of humor

A man was praying to God. He said, O God. God responded, Yes. And the guy said, Can I ask a question? Go right ahead. God replied. God, what is a million years to you? God said, A million years to me is only a second. Hmmm.. the man wondered. Then he asked, God, what is a million dollars worth to you. God said, a million dollars to me is as a penny. So the man said , O God, can I have a penny? And God Cheerfully Said, Sure!... just a second.


English Paper of Banta Singh

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friend asked him how did he do his exam?
Banta singh replied: Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, i thought, and thought, and thought and thought...and at last I wrote THUNK!!!

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My ALLAH it is enough for my respect that I m "Your" person & it is enough for my pride that "You" are my GOD."You" are exactly the way I desire.Thus please mould me the way "You" desire.

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four -- give or take 10%, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

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A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed like an eternity. He looked up, looked down, measured the distance, figured the wind direction and speed. He drove his partner nuts.
Finally, his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it man, you'll never hit her from here!"


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On the outskirts of town, there was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucket with nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing them.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered. "It's Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery."
He cycled down the road as fast as he could and found an old man hobbling along with a cane. "Come here quick," said the boy. "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it hard to walk as it is." But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence, they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth. Let's find out if we can see the devil himself." Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, but they were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought-iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.
At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence, and we'll be done."
They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before the boy.


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Bhola was looking for a job. He couldn't find one in Pakistan so started
applying to US & Canada. As soon as he applied, he got a reply from a US
company. Bhola was very happy and started giving treat to all his
friends...
Dost poochney laggey kay....."Bhai, bataa to kon si company hai, kitni
salary haai? vaghera... vaghera...".
Bhola said "English mein letter hai, per mein tumhe translate kar ke
sunata hoon"....
"Woh company likhe hai...
"YOU DO NOT MEET"... yaani kay "Tum to milte hi nahin ho...(bahut busy ho)"
"OUR REQUIREMENTS"... yaani kay "Humein to bahut zaroorat hai"
"NO FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE"... yaani kay "Aagey chitthi bhejne ki
zarurat nahin hai, (Jaise bhi ho jaldi se aajao)"
"WILL BE ENTERTAINED"... yaani kay "Bahut khatir ki jayegi"
Thank you


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Lawyer in accident.................
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office,
ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too
close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.

The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within
minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started
screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day
before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter
what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer
shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic
you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you
don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the
elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

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Life is a kaleidoscope of flaws, desires, emotions and mishaps__ YHK

Vahe Guru.
I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here,so that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine,situated right above the commode. I m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and havent seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting The grass at the cemetery. By the way I took bahu to our club's poolside.The manager is badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club.We were confused as to which piece should we remove? Your sister had a baby this morning.I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his fathers last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom. P.S : Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

--------------------------------

A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs.......
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the goddamned lottery!!!!"

The husband says "Oh my God! No Shit?! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

The wife yells back: "It doesn't matter... just get the heck out of my house!"

__________________
Life is a kaleidoscope of flaws, desires, emotions and mishaps__ YHK

Nice jokes ....
Thanx for sharing.

Regards,
Muskan

__________________
My ALLAH it is enough for my respect that I m "Your" person & it is enough for my pride that "You" are my GOD."You" are exactly the way I desire.Thus please mould me the way "You" desire.

Harbhajan ne apni biwi se pucha?,” kya main tumhara pehla pyar hun? Biwi boli,” kar din a sardaron wali bat, SPINER ko kabhi opening milti hai kya?
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1 sardar library me 2-3 ghante book padhne ke baad bole, SO BORING, so many characters but no story.. then librarian saiys sardar jee this is Telephone Directory
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Indian & Pakistami soldiers r on the border. But surprised they r not fighting ! Do u know wy ? Coz dhishum dhishum to pepsodent ka kaam hai na ! ! !
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The night is dark,the moon is high,i stop my car,u ask why? I come close 2 U, U feel shy, i tell u those 3 words..........Oh God ! Puncture !
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Majnu Ko Laila Ka Sms Nahi Aiya..Majnu Ne 3 Din Se Khana Nahi Khaya..Majnu Marne Wala Tha Laila Ke Pyar Mai..Aur Laila Bethi Thi SmS Free Hone Ke Intezar Mai..
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Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".
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Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
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Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagaye
Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KITNE AADMI THE..
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New style of writing a love letter * * * My dear FAIR and LOVELY (**ek chand ka tukda**) , You are my TVS SCOOTY ( **First love**) and my AIWA (**Pure passion**). I always BPL ( **Believe in the best**) and you are SANSUI (**Better than the best**). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (**Delivering a million smiles**) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (**Seriously fresh** ) feeling for me. * ** *I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (**The Unshakable**) and my father who is CEAT (**Born Tough**) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON ( **The Josh Machine**) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS ( **The Coolest ones**).* *If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (**Let be
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when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din..... 2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn.... 3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki... 4. just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast..... 5. after some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum?? 6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo) 7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi... 8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer: Jeena yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahaan...!!!
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Taxiing down the runway, the passenger jet abruptly came to a stop, turned around and returned to the gate. Eventually however, after an hour-long wait, the flight finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the Flight Attendant.
“I hope it’s all sorted now.” Replied the nervous passenger.
"Oh yes, it’s fine now Sir, it just took us a while to find a new pilot."
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An english man and a desi man were both going to a interview. They were asked to use the colours green. pink and yellow. The english man goes in and says the grass is green, the sun is yellow and the sunset is pink. The desi man goes in and says my phone goes green green i pink it up and i say yellow!!
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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
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Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND". But unfortunately, in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER” in just 30-45 words .So Billooo was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do!!! Tillooo gave an idea . . . . Just write the essay My best friend & just keep on replacing the word friend with the father..... So this was how Billooo & Tillooo wrote the essay "MY FATHER"......Fathers & fathers are everywhere, but good fathers are very rare. I have so many fathers, but my best father is pyarelal. He is my neighbour. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much.
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3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a Pakistani. They boast their country's science achievements. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in space, the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon, The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun! Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun. The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at night!!!
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Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

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ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

[QUOTE=sureshlasi
1 sardar library me 2-3 ghante book padhne ke baad bole, SO BORING, so many characters but no story.. then librarian saiys sardar jee this is Telephone Directory
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Majnu Ko Laila Ka Sms Nahi Aiya..Majnu Ne 3 Din Se Khana Nahi Khaya..Majnu Marne Wala Tha Laila Ke Pyar Mai..Aur Laila Bethi Thi SmS Free Hone Ke Intezar Mai..
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Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".
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Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!
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when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din..... 2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ....tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn.... 3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki... 4. just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast..... 5. after some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum?? 6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo) 7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja... kabootar ja ja ja... pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi... 8. finally when you don't get a better offer any longer: Jeena yehaan, marna yehaan iske siwa jaana kahaan...!!!
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please share yr worthy aggregation of fun over here ......i m eager to find yr replies[/QUOTE]



Keep sharing dear .. thanks

take care

__________________
Marna Tu Ess Jahan Main koi hadsa nahi....Ess Dor`E`NaGawar Main Jeena Kamal Hai..

Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
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Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character thik ho jaaega.....
Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya hoga....???

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The world is my oyster!

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running.
A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer,
"I think I'm planting them too deep
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German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing...
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
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__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

@I M Possible


I'm really worried about guy's dad's character.

anyways nice one


Regards,

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