ek sardar jaa raha tha aur raaste main woh kele ke chelke se phisale ker ger gaya.phir wapas doosre din jab woh jaa raha tha tu kele ka chelka zamin per parra howa tha............sardar kehne laga...haye rabba aaj phir phisalna parre gaa
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A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.
"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
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A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the point where the pathways meet. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
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TV hai?

Kon se channel aate hai?

Table hai?

Chair bhi hogi?

Apke ghar me chipakali hai?

Billi hai?

Kutta kyo nai hai?

Audio hai k cd k dvd?

Home theater kyo nai hai?

nal hai?
Pani aata hai?

Fridge hai?

Bada hai k chota?

Thanda karta hai?

ice banata hai?

Kon c company ka hai?

To dusri Co. ka kyo nai hai?

Fan hai k AC?
Coolr kyo
nai hai?

Phone
nai hai?
hai...
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A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines
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The population of this country is 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school,
which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.
This leaves 19 million to do the work.
4 million are in the Armed Forces,
which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals,
so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons.
That leaves Just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you're just sitting there reading jokes all day!
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1st thief: Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief: But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief: Hurry! this is no time for superstitions

__________________
The world is my oyster!

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red.

The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself"

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
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A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a

few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"
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Here the text...Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.

If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the

institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty

swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free

man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

aaj deedar
kal yaar
parso pyar
phir ehsaas
aur phir intazar
phir takraar
phir daraar
sari mehnat bekaar aur at last ek aur devdass at beer bar

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

Hum Chahain Aap Ko
Aap Chahain Kisi Aur Ko
Aap Jisay Chahain Khudha Karay
Wo Chahain Kisi Aur Ko

__________________
Mehaak Butt

"Panjab News" gets news that 100 sardars are killed in a train accident at Amritsar station. Only one sardar left alive.
The correspondent goes to him and asks, Sardarji how did it happen?

Sardar: oh ji pucho mat.. sab kuch sahi tha sab log platform par khade
gaadi ka wait kar rahe they. Achanak announcement hui ke shatabdee express 2 no. platform par aa rahi hai. Jaise hi sab ne suna ke gaddi PLATFORM PAR aa rahi hai, sab log apni jaan bachane ke liye patri par kood gaye. Aur tabhi gaddi patri par aa gayi.
correspondent : Thank god. Aap ne samajhdari dikhayee. Aap patri par nahin koode.
Sardar: oye nahin ji main to suicide karne ki liye patri par hi leta tha. Jaise hi announcement hui main to platform par char gaya.
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ONCE SARDARJEE FRIEND SEES BANDAGE ONHIS LEFT HAND .HE ASKED OTHER SARDARJEE HOW THAT?SARDAR OF BANDAGE TOLD THAT HIS HAND WAS IN MACHINE.OTHER SAID THANK God urs only left hand was inmachine.if there right hand was inmachine then how would u do work?ist sardarjee told that was all my wisdom.other asked what wisdome.ist one said actually my righthand was in machine but thinking same thing i took out my right hand from machine and inserted left hand in machine

__________________
ஜ иστнιπg ιš ιмթΘรรιвlε тσ α ωιℓℓιиg нєαят ஜ

English teacher: "one cute and young girl is walking on the road", change this into an exclamatory sentence.
Student: "oh god what a piece!"

__________________
main akaila he chalta gaya janeb e manzil
loog meltay rahe carvan banta chala gaya

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile. -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
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Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
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Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
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How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.0

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC
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Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
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When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

__________________
If U Feel U Have No Faults......There`s Another One

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
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Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

__________________
~It is possible to fail in many ways...while to succeed is possible only in one way.~