[B][U][FONT="Arial Black"]Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy
[/FONT][/U][/B]

Hero & villain are two characters that never leave us alone because either we are to act like the one or to take side of one. however,the romanticism that is attached with the word "hero" never fails to charm us & to make us feel greatly attractive toward this word & theme of heroism. Nonetheless,being a hero does come with a price-tag that is not in the pay-range of ordinary souls or we may say that when their is a hero,their is or are tragedies & trials by life_that goes a step beyond to test their mettle. the word 'hero' itself symbolizes the theme of being superior from all.so when we perceive someone as hero,this is certainly because of something exceptional done by him.this something exceptional may be his courage,bravery,spirit of fight against all odds or any task that an ordinary man may feel too hefty to be undertaken by him.thus somewhere we all connect this word hero with some sort of milestone or benchmark which is a must to cross or achieve to gain the title.
being a hero or person of unique abilities & achievements is not a piece of cake. striving to conquer something hitherto invincible or staying impregnable despite volley of teething problems is a constant journey. those who choose this path are extraordinary souls in ordinary bodies. though this earned them an eternal fame or laurels. however,a hard earned & maintained fame. once a person put on the shoes of a 'hero' after hackneyed struggle another battle ensues. battle to keep one's prestigious position or success.
when we go down the history lane & start glancing over life stories of all great people we know,we come across unique stories of sufferings,struggles & success. nelson mandella & aung san suu kyi are two great names of modern political world.they are hero for their people in their own way. mandella earned this fame after a long fight for the rights of his nation.he suffered imprisonment for 27 years.aung san suu kyi arrested for around 15 years in 20 years.again a persistent stance against trials thrown in by life. thus these long years of battling for the right thing & negating all luxuries offered by self-centredness fetched them the halo of glory.
thus the romanticism the word 'hero' exhibit is not without cost. jealousies, bottlenecks,traps,ploys,conspiracies & what not that come to hinder the path of a hero.it seems life too show it's stiff side before taking a hardworking man into her comforting lap.but after giving him taste of her cozy side,she again turns demanding.life is a teacher that never ceases to take exams & those who claim to be hero,for them life too shows her super skills of erecting barriers & animating nightmares.so,show me a hero & i will write you a tragedy.



please do check

[QUOTE=Anum Bashir;456246]MAN PROBES INTO SPACE BUT NOT INTO HIMSELF

[B][COLOR="Magenta"]since The day man has been created, he is busy in exploring this universe. [/COLOR][/B] [B](Re-arrange it, like; Man is busy in exploring this universe since his birth.)[/B] he has conquered the lands, measured the depth of oceans, devised ways to fight [COLOR="Magenta"]atrocious weather conditions,[/COLOR] (What does it mean.) but despite these what he fails in is to discover his own self. [COLOR="Magenta"]H[/COLOR]e is unable to peep into his own soul. [COLOR="Magenta"]M[/COLOR]an tries to find the reasons for existence of this universe but overlooks himself as a conspicuous part of it.
[COLOR="Magenta"]D[/COLOR]iscovering or knowing [COLOR="Magenta"]yourself[/COLOR] [B](ONESELF) [/B]means to discover [COLOR="Magenta"]your[/COLOR] potentials, to uncover actual cause of [COLOR="Magenta"]your[/COLOR] existence, to understand [COLOR="Magenta"]your [/COLOR] [B](Remove YOUR)[/B] relation not only with God but with his creations as well. [COLOR="Magenta"]T[/COLOR]he man who has accurate perception of his self[COLOR="Magenta"],[/COLOR] knows his worth and thus is among satisfied souls. [COLOR="Magenta"]A[/COLOR]s we can observe this in lives of oliya Allah, their rank was elevated because they were quite aware of not only their potentials and strengths but duties too.
Allah SWT demand[COLOR="Magenta"]S[/COLOR] us to look into ourselves just as he asks us to explore this universe because no man can understand true reason for creation of this universe unless he has completely comprehended meaning of his own.

dear senior members plz check mine as well,, i know there are hundreds of mistakes in it :( but this was all i could write on this topic!! this is my very first attempt. plzzzzz guide me :(
n RAMAZAN MUBARAK to every one :))[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"][FONT="Arial Black"][B]RamaDan Mubarak To you Too!

"Journey of thousands miles is started with single Step"

There are not much mistakes. These can be covered easily.

You started well, but somehow you derailed the Topic.

You had to say and utter, MAN ONLY EXPLORES universe. You had not to favour it. Which you have done. You had to only speak, He does explore universe, but he has to seek his self. WHY, HE SHOULD SEEK HIS SELF? You had to give examples and reasons.

You can check my expansion on the very topic at First page .

And, divide your expansion in paragraphs.

1st Paragraph . Explain the meaning of proverb or quotation in simple words. And, extract out its central idea.
2nd. Illustrate the meaning with suitable examples.
3rd. Conclude the paragraph with an apposite message.

You have quite good writing style, It can only be flourished and beautified if you write and practise.

regards, [/B][/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=pearlyS;456270][B][U][FONT="Arial Black"]Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy
[/FONT][/U][/B]

Hero & villain are two characters that never leave us alone because either we are to act like the one or to take side of one. however,the romanticism that is attached with the word "hero" never fails to charm us & to make us feel greatly attractive toward this word & theme of heroism. Nonetheless,being a hero does come with a price-tag that is not in the pay-range of ordinary souls or we may say that when their is a hero,their is or are tragedies & trials by life_that goes a step beyond to test their mettle. the word 'hero' itself symbolizes the theme of being superior from all.so when we perceive someone as hero,this is certainly because of something exceptional done by him.this something exceptional may be his courage,bravery,spirit of fight against all odds or any task that an ordinary man may feel too hefty to be undertaken by him.thus somewhere we all connect this word hero with some sort of milestone or benchmark which is a must to cross or achieve to gain the title.
being a hero or person of unique abilities & achievements is not a piece of cake. striving to conquer something hitherto invincible or staying impregnable despite volley of teething problems is a constant journey. those who choose this path are extraordinary souls in ordinary bodies. though this earned them an eternal fame or laurels. however,a hard earned & maintained fame. once a person put on the shoes of a 'hero' after hackneyed struggle another battle ensues. battle to keep one's prestigious position or success.
when we go down the history lane & start glancing over life stories of all great people we know,we come across unique stories of sufferings,struggles & success. nelson mandella & aung san suu kyi are two great names of modern political world.they are hero for their people in their own way. mandella earned this fame after a long fight for the rights of his nation.he suffered imprisonment for 27 years.aung san suu kyi arrested for around 15 years in 20 years.again a persistent stance against trials thrown in by life. thus these long years of battling for the right thing & negating all luxuries offered by self-centredness fetched them the halo of glory.
thus the romanticism the word 'hero' exhibit is not without cost. jealousies, bottlenecks,traps,ploys,conspiracies & what not that come to hinder the path of a hero.it seems life too show it's stiff side before taking a hardworking man into her comforting lap.but after giving him taste of her cozy side,she again turns demanding.life is a teacher that never ceases to take exams & those who claim to be hero,for them life too shows her super skills of erecting barriers & animating nightmares.so,show me a hero & i will write you a tragedy.



please do check[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="Magenta"][B]
I have not read it, yet. It has crossed 450 words. And, world limit is 250-300 for expansion writing.

Please, shorten the number of words, first.

Regards, [/B][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=kashifali85;456251]Call No Man Happy Till He Is Dead

Our life is full of desires. Desire of love, success, accumulation of wealth, absolute power etc. Some of desires can be accomplished but some of desires remain unaccomplished man tries his best to fulfill all his desires but some of them are lucky whatever they [B]desired[/B] [B](Write base form DESIRE)[/B] they get and others do not.
Since the creation of Adam man always [B]tried[/B] [B](WRITE BASES FORM TRIES)[/B] to make himself happy for the sack of his own happiness he never ever hesitates to take the rights and lives of others. Adam was admonished but for the sack of his happiness he had to commit sin similarly his own son Qabeel also had murdered his brother for his happiness.
[B]There are also certain examples we find not in the annals of history but even today.[/B] (What does this mean?) Gautama Buddha, he had to leave every luxuries of life and went to jungles and deserts in order to find the sufferings of man he concluded that man can be happy provided that he has to leave his desires because when desires cannot be fulfilled than man fed up from his life. Simultaneously Hazrat Ali (r.a) said that the dust of grave can quench the thirst of man’s desires.
To sum up, desires are natural outcome of man through his desires he invente[B]s[/B] too much things he always make[B]S[/B] things better and best. Although man tries to fulfill all his desires and get[B]S[/B] happiness but life is too short for him that he cannot get every happiness till he is dead.

By: Kashif Ali

CSP, seniors and others r requested to comment.Thanks[/QUOTE]

[COLOR="Magenta"]Some of desires can be accomplished but some of desires remain unaccomplished man tries his best to fulfill all his desires [B]but some of them are lucky whatever they desired they get and others do not.[/B][/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]WAS there NEED to talk about LUCKY PEOPLE? It makes your sentences complex.
[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Magenta"]
Since the creation of Adam man always tries to make himself happy for the sack of his own happiness [B]he never ever hesitates to take the rights and lives of others.[/B] Adam was admonished but for the sack of his happiness he had to commit sin similarly his own son Qabeel also had murdered his brother for his happiness. [/COLOR]

[COLOR="DarkRed"]How Does this example justify the topic?[/COLOR]


[B][COLOR="DarkRed"]If MAN is Dead, Means, He becomes happy. Did you justify this?
[/COLOR][/B]
[COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"][B]
You could explain much better.

Overall, good effort.

I have read for four times, your expansion, to know what are you speaking about.

Write in such a flow and clearness, so one could understand in very first read.
[/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;456275][COLOR="Magenta"][B]
I have not read it, yet. It has crossed 450 words. And, world limit is 250-300 for expansion writing.

Please, shorten the number of words, first.

Regards, [/B][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

thanks for pointing my mistake.i shall take care of word limit next time. but do check my grasp of topic,presentation or grammar so that i be mindful of mistakes in next attempt...!

[QUOTE=pearlyS;456270][B][U][FONT="Arial Black"]Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy
[/FONT][/U][/B]

[B][COLOR="Magenta"]Hero & villain are two characters that never leave us alone because either we are to act like the one or to take side of one. however,the romanticism that is attached with the word "hero" never fails to charm us & to make us feel greatly attractive toward this word & theme of heroism. [/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="DarkRed"](First Para Should have the meaning and central Idea of Topic. You have told about Hero and Villian.
[/COLOR]

Nonetheless,being a hero does come with a price-tag that is not in the pay-range of ordinary souls or we may say that when [COLOR="Magenta"]their[/COLOR] [COLOR="DarkRed"](THERE)[/COLOR] is a hero,[COLOR="Magenta"]their[/COLOR] is or are tragedies & trials by life_that [COLOR="Magenta"]goes[/COLOR] [COLOR="DarkRed"](GO)[/COLOR]a step beyond to test their mettle. [B]T[/B]he word 'hero' itself symbolizes the theme of being superior [B][COLOR="Magenta"]from[/COLOR][/B] [COLOR="DarkRed"](to)[/COLOR] all.[B]S[/B]o when we perceive someone as hero,this is certainly because of something exceptional done by him. [B][B]T[/B]his something exceptional may be his courage,bravery,spirit of fight against all odds or any task that an ordinary man may feel too hefty to be undertaken by him.[/B] [B][COLOR="DarkRed"](TRY TO MAKE SIMPLE SENTENCES)[/COLOR][/B] [B]T[/B]hus somewhere we all connect this word hero with some sort of milestone or benchmark which is a must to cross or achieve to gain the title.
[B]B[/B]eing a hero or person of unique abilities & achievements is not a piece of cake. Striving to conquer something hitherto invincible or staying impregnable despite volley of teething problems is a constant journey. Those who choose this path are extraordinary souls in ordinary bodies. though this earned them an eternal fame or laurels. however,a hard earned & maintained fame. [B]O[/B]nce a person put on the shoes of a 'hero' after hackneyed struggle another battle ensues. [B]B[/B]attle to keep one's prestigious position or success.
when we go down the history lane & start glancing over life stories of all great people we know,we come across unique stories of sufferings,struggles & success. [B]N[/B]elson [B]M[/B]andella & [B]A[/B]ung San suu kyi are two great names of modern political world.They are [B]heroes[/B] for their people in their own way. [B]M[/B]andella earned this fame after a long fight for the rights of his nation.[B]H[/B]e suffered imprisonment for 27 years.aung san suu kyi arrested for around 15 years in 20 years.[B]A[/B]gain a persistent stance against trials thrown in by life. thus these long years of battling for the right thing & negating all luxuries offered by self-centredness fetched them the halo of glory.
thus the romanticism the word 'hero' exhibit is not without cost. jealousies, bottlenecks,traps,ploys,conspiracies & what not that come to hinder the path of a hero.it seems life too show it's stiff side before taking a hardworking man into her comforting lap.[B]B[/B]ut after giving him taste of her cozy side,she again turns demanding.life is a teacher that never ceases to take exams & those who claim to be hero,for them life too shows her super skills of erecting barriers & animating nightmares.so,show me a hero & i will write you a tragedy.



please do check[/QUOTE]
[B][COLOR="DarkRed"][SIZE="3"]

As, I have already said that You have crossed the word limit, It doesn't look like a CSS expansion.

You have good Ideas and expressions but you don't know how and where to use.


You have focused on the meaning of Hero, of and on. You had to tell about his tragedies. Tragedies had to be focused, where ever the Hero was.

You speak, so many things in a single Para. Try to speak single Idea in single Para.

You had to just expand the Idea. [B]Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.[/B] Why to define Hero and Villain?

You had Good Examples of Mandela and Other. But, you interconnected them. You had not to tell jointly about both politicians. You could explain them separately.

You try to drag the matter. Try to write precisely and to the point.

You have good vocabulary but try to write simple words and idioms. Don't try to irritate the Examiner. :)

I am not a good writer but you can check my Expansion on the very Topic.

Overall Good efforts. [/SIZE][/COLOR][/B]

@ zuhaib ahmed
thanks for such detailed response to telling me my mistakes.:roll i shall try to improve but i followed the pattern of my esteemed teacher Sir Kashif. That was like first 2 lines of essay/expansion are starters whereas 3rd line is your theme line.theme line depicts one's overall stance in essay. So i followed that.
i emphasized on "hero" word because i perceived it that topic contains 2 key words i.e hero & tragedy. so i took it like being in shoes of hero is not a plum job & tried o explain it that way...!!
i am explaining because this may give you further glimpse of the extent of my understanding of topic.thus you may further guide me for better.


Regards

[QUOTE=pearlyS;456319]@ zuhaib ahmed
thanks for such detailed response to telling me my mistakes.:roll i shall try to improve but i followed the pattern of my esteemed teacher Sir Kashif. That was like first 2 lines of essay/expansion are starters whereas 3rd line is your theme line.theme line depicts one's overall stance in essay. So i followed that.
i emphasized on "hero" word because i perceived it that topic contains 2 key words i.e hero & tragedy. so i took it like being in shoes of hero is not a plum job & tried o explain it that way...!!
i am explaining because this may give you further glimpse of the extent of my understanding of topic.thus you may further guide me for better.


Regards[/QUOTE]

Thanks. :)

Sir Kashif?

If you Read the Book. Discovering The World Of English BEST FOR CSS AND PCS. On Page number 722, it is clearly written. Here are the words:[COLOR="DarkRed"]

"Step 1: State, in simple words, the meaning contained in the given statement, by empathizing its central idea, warning suggestion, advice, revelation of some general truth or some natural phenomenon."[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Black"][SIZE="2"][B]We, have quite limited words. How can we drag the subject that much? We should hit the topic directly in first Para.

Yes, you kept on explaining HERO. That is why, you crossed the word limit.

regards, [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;456325]Thanks. :)

Sir Kashif?

If you Read the Book. Discovering The World Of English BEST FOR CSS AND PCS. On Page number 722, it is clearly written. Here are the words:[COLOR="DarkRed"]

"Step 1: State, in simple words, the meaning contained in the given statement, by empathizing its central idea, warning suggestion, advice, revelation of some general truth or some natural phenomenon."[/COLOR]

[COLOR="Black"][SIZE="2"][B]We, have quite limited words. How can we drag the subject that much? We should hit the topic directly in first Para.

Yes, you kept on explaining HERO. That is why, you crossed the word limit.

regards, [/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]


yes,sir Kashif Rehman Khan

i have got your point about word limit,need of the hour (paper time duration) & needless dragging. Thanks for showing the other side of the picture( dragging). i shall post expansion on another topic avoiding mistakes of first post. i wrote that expansion without planning & in 40-45 minutes. i will give it proper time & treatment.

Regards

[QUOTE=pearlyS;456334]yes,sir Kashif Rehman Khan

i have got your point about word limit,need of the hour (paper time duration) & needless dragging. Thanks for showing the other side of the picture( dragging). i shall post expansion on another topic avoiding mistakes of first post. i wrote that expansion without planning & in 40-45 minutes. i will give it proper time & treatment.

Regards[/QUOTE]

Thanks,

For your further assurance:

Prof: MuZaffar Bukhari had written an article on expansion writing in world times magazine, month; March-2010.

He has written:

The Exact words are.
[B]
Try to cut out all irrelevant matters, frills or figures of speech.

Language should be as simple as possible. [/B]

That is why I said you. :)

Waiting for your next attempt.

regards,