Well Dear Sadia! Tell me one thing. Is it necessary that ONLY CHAUVINIST can quote verses of Holy Quran and Ahadith? I mean if in our daily life, anybody around us quote Quranic verses and ahadith to find answers of his questions or to discuss/clarify any matter then should we alert ourself without wasting a nano second that this speaker is Chauvinist? For heaven’s sake don’t say like this.

We all are Believers and have Two MOST AUTHENTIC AND ONLY ways to solve our daily life problems and these are Holy Quran and Sharriah. These sources are enough to solve each and every, major and minor problem/confusion in our lives till dooms day (only requirement is a positive and keen approach to understand) so we can’t and should not ignore them while discussing any matter. Other than these sources you are free to negate opinion of any tom, dick and harry.

Moreover dear you mentioned fiqh and ijtehad, dear these are not separate from Quranic verses and Shariah, infact Quran and ahadith are sources which are used to derive expansions, implementations and solutions to legal problems in fiqh and ijtehad. Quranic verses and ahadith donot require fiqh and ijtehad for support Rather Fiqh and Ijtehad require Quranic verses and Ahadith for Logical reasoning and Solution to a problem.

All the above mentioned circumstances demonstrate the attitude of such men who cannot be portrayed as a kind Ruler (as I already said that Muslim men are not expected to dominate, abuse or exploit, but to take care of their women) but are included in the second category of Cruel Men of Society. But have you observed what happens to them? Do they enjoy the faithful love, care and pleased obedience of their wives? Can you say that look! He is such a cruel person and beats his wife and force her to earn BUT STILL the couple is living a heaven’s life?? No my Sister! They themselves make their family life a punishment for them where they can make orders and get them obeyed forcibly but there is no happiness and no peace in their lives. They will have to answer One day for each and every such act they did, and wife will be rewarded greatly for her patience. Even though I have personally seen that such men get punishment in some or other way even in their life and one day comes when wife becomes strong enough that she can stand for herself without any more fears.

Yes dear! In life it never happens that all go well. Logically it cannot be! This world is a bad place to live that’s why we are told by our Religion not to love this world. Its an Examination Hall only. You face 90% Exams and get 10% happiness only! Ask anyone from this forum, from your family and friends! You won’t find a single person on earth who is free from all anxieties or who don’t have any more Urge, Goal, Need, or Wish in life. From a child of four years to the Richest person on earth everyone is running and anxious for his small or big needs and more and more wishes, everyone falls several times…Some get up with new hope…Others take time to get through…. Some loses their dear ones and others are forced to lose…Some are victims of one sided love with heavy heart and others are worried for jobs… Some wish to win Election and others to become rich and richer… Some are anxious about CSS and others to get promotion. Some innocent angels face violence from Men of their own home and others are looking to please their Lord and so and so…. Till Life comes to an End! Its not Paradise dear its an examination hall only. But Life is easy for those who Thank their Lord for all that HE has given to us and yes! Its EASIER EVEN when we look towards the lower one who wishes for and idealize the life of even ours when sit alone!

Dear there is not a single quote or Ahadith about such men BUT Many verses and Ahadith where Our Allah and Beloved Prophet have alarmed men to avoid such acts and punishments are evident in those cases.

The Prophet (May Peace Be Upon Him) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority will not enter Paradise."Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358...
How Unlucky and poor such people will be.... Allah Forbade...
Above posts were about an ideal lifestyle where both husband and wife are responsible as they should be, it in No way shield those men who exploit women for their own means.

I think you had a bad experience with males of your family or surroundings that’s why you have such negative views about them. But dear its not necessary that after such experience you put males of whole world in one category of Fraud, Lairs etc etc like Kashaf… Many girls who luckily have extremely loving, affectionate, and caring Father, brother or Husband will strongly disagree with your statement and won’t believe you. What I suggest for myself and to others is to Remain Positive always… And believe me your strength of positivity in life and faith in Allah will subsequently change your circumstances also. If you would keep on thinking negative about life and live with notion that ALL males are fraud then I fear you may lose the Sincere and True one also!

Dear Sister! I can Understand your feelings after reading your post and being a muslim sister i will pray for you and say that Don’t lose hope! After every Night comes a Day too! Our Allah is extremely Loving and he bless every good heart with moments of joy and happiness too in this life. If you haven’t got your cake yet then get ready…it will soon be given to you. And if you want a cake which is sweeter than honey even then Thank Allah for everything even in this difficult time you are facing and you will find such a Beautiful Reward one day that’s beyond one’s imagination!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy And when he protects his woman, love her and care for her, fulfils her needs to his best then in such an ideal lifestyle no one can call such woman a Slave rather she lives like Princess in the kingdom of his Kind Ruler.

I respect your point of view.

Lets see flip side of your comment.

1.What if he willfully fails to fulfill above responsibilities as mostly males do in this part of World? ( For example:Mostly Females do the most tedious and back-breaking tasks in the field of agriculture & males enjoys their earnings)

2. Does husband's possibility of exercising control over her drop when he starts thrashing, maltreating her?

3.Is wife entitled to revolt in these extenuating circumstances?

4. Is it justifiable that wife's life is only secure & pleasant when it is guaranteed
in
exchange
for
obedience
to
his Husband?

5.Where is mutual love & respect? Cant we curtail this 'Give & Take' in this sacred relation?


P.S: I have put these questions because I know you can give answer.

Regards,

__________________
When you try, you risk failure. When you don’t try, you ensure it.

Wise and reasonable.
I appreciate your comment for its spontaneity. The approach is quite balanced in terms of maintaining solidarity of any society.

Novices of miseries never know the pains of mis fortunate ones . Making a thesis without experience and observation leads towards optimistic road .Or we deliberately move towards positivity to show want some claps. I do not want appraisals because I do not want argue just for the sake of arguments .I experienced melancholic-romance:P It is good and neither I am here for sobbing . I want all of you to clear minds . Scenario has been changed . we often generalized women should be obedient, they would have no authority man is only leader of family . I believe , two genders can run the family and that`s why good understanding is essential .

I do not know daisy what is your age and either you have such experiences .All the things have been changed and when Holy Quran has been revealed , and practiced by Holy prophet (P.B.U.H) as well . So questions related to Fiqqa were answered by Hazrat Ayesha (R.A) , even Hazrat Umer -e-farooq and Hazrat Abu Bakar approached here . Then , the institution of Ijtehad was founded by Hazrat Iman Abu Hanfia ; that was making QIAYS /analogizes regarding issues which had not been answered by Holy Quran and in tradition as well .

Institution of ijtehad had been closed by sheikh Abdul whahab and the Ummah found last famous mujtahed ''shah wali Ullah'' . There are so much lingering questions which have not been answered keeping in mind the changing trends of society . But we beat the bush again and again , women should be obedient . I strongly disagree with you there should be no ijtehad for lingering problems that means we are doomed for ever .


Look ! If we really do not need any Ijtehad ,then Why consensus was held after the death of Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and why Ijtehad was done during the compilation of holy book . If you really think that Ijtehad is not important , then please study Islamiat , sociology and Muslim Law Paper as well as analyses essay paper of CE-2013 . They have asked what are the changing trends in families and what are remedial measures . What would be the answer if will look into Quran , then we have deduct the meanings from the verses of Quran ; this is called ijtehad and law making . Allah is greatest legislator and he defined all the paths but we have to find the hidden meaning in each verse which itself has seven layers of meanings .

we often says women should be bla bla bla... but when child-girl is born there is mourn every where and your words never gained wings currency which you related to defend males citing jannah for men . Why ? Do you remember any one family who wanted male seed but female got punishment bearing female child . We never quote Quran ... well Quran says male should earn ; these males says , ''go and earn '' and along with this they tease these women should not defy in each case and give all money to them . Well , I never saw people who quote such ahadith ..

yes ! I have seen half-rooted ahadith which is most -quoted is men can marry with four women but will never quote the case of Hazrat ALI (R.A) who wanted to marry with another women having Hazrat Fatima (R.A) too and Our beloved told us that one who will make Fatima angry is meant for making me angry and Hazrat ALI (R.A) never married during the life span of such holy female person . And we never quoted second marriage is allowed only when first wife will allow to her husband . It never happens but It happens always we says all girls should be obedient whether male fulfill their rights or not . Reward would be given in the end . TOTALLY ONE-SIDED OPINION ...

In Pakistan , tell me the % of men who are kind ruler and who never abused etc . I can quote statistic which are very alarming and I am thinking you never ponder to see around the globe . You are just living in your own abode ! And that`s why you are citing references which are respected but not suited such situations . I have put questions to you and you do not answered .Instead of it , you gave me big lecture of positivity which is appreciated and acknowledged . But equate yourself in such question and answer in a balanced way which you do not did . It seems that you only perceived the situation and never go deep because such mishaps are genuine and you still want space of man .

If such trends will continue ; seasoning misogyny and chauvinism will go hand in hand then we have complexes , the specific term which is used in psychology . And Our parliament will pass the law of legal homosexual marriages . It is the future , if the trends continue ..I have pointed such trends and dream for balanced approach ;

The world would dwell in space .
Revolving images would sketch space.
Physical distancing would mount ,
Our Visualization of space .



People would discover new relationships;
Of their paternal and maternal belongings ,
will be matter of their choice .
The new generation first go near to ''Apollo ''


The system of respect would be entertained.
But in a new a way ,like the encounters of the God of Son.
All would rear each day,to see glimpse of thy,
He would met all ,shine and light and went .


Seasoning misogyny would be faded .
Raining love would enlighten Artemis wings;
Thy wings light and give soothing smell,
Which World would never have.


''Love conquers all '', will fertile ,
Thy feminist-space of ideas ,
Which Keats never found ,
And lost in ,''La Bella Dams ...
Nor like of suicidal encounters in plays,
Of Shakes,



Marxism would be prevailed all around.
Austen would be happy in limited range.
Moon-sun Tides would never imbalance.
There would be no Oedipus and Electra,
Neil `s philosophy would be a burial deep.[/B]

http://www.cssforum.com.pk/off-topic...-my-voice.html
Now come to zindage gulzar he //


This drama is not misleading us . Umera has written three dramas based on CSPs protagonist ; Mano-salwa , Amarbail and this zindage gulzar he . I will say Mano salwa and amar bail has revealed all the loopholes in bureaucracy and how men used women . Yes , when women turned to revenge , she is disgusted , never accepted because in animal society or to kill animals you have to become animal . But such converted animals have at least conscience which lust ful male never have . Ultimately , the protagonist of mano salwa suicde . So , I never heard man0o-salwa mislead or kind . But we saw girls can take revenge not by tuning into animals but getting success. We condemned such thing and sobbed when mano-salwa protagonist suicided . Actually , we never wanted girls/women to go higher . Kashaf manage house and all in laws relation , no one admired . No one admired her for her strong character and no one admired for her extra-academic achievements .
In life. while studying in co-classes ; one class purposed her , the one who liked her from the start .And if Zaroon really trusted on Kashaf , then why doubted?? Why we people say this is childish behavior which was due to her mother mis-management of household . If kashaf would bows ,then it will good and if she was annoyed because Zaroon is immature then this drama is misleading us . It is not justified . No one is perfect ; neither zaroon nor kashaf , that`s why kashaf tolerated his behavior and managed his family wedding but Zarroon could not .. There is a big why ????????????

__________________
"Wa tu izzu man-ta shaa, wa tu zillu man-ta shaa"

This play has become most popular among girls.As for as the question of misleading to girls, then that is out of place to say.Kashaf should be eliminated from the play as she is all the time gloomy in what circumstances she is placed

__________________
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.

OH MY GOD!

Sadia!! I dont know why you took my words so negatively and even blamed me with number of titles like chauvinist and that i want claps bla bla..... Come on dear! I just shared my point of view regarding "what should be an ideal lifestyle in a marital relation that brings peace and happiness for both husband and wife." NOTHING MORE!

You explained Fiqh and Ijtehad quite well with definitions and history as well and concluded with statement that "I strongly disagree with you there should be no ijtehad". Now tell me one thing please. Where had i said that there should be no ijtehad??? Kindly re-read my coment. it was:

"Moreover dear you mentioned fiqh and ijtehad, dear these are not separate from Quranic verses and Shariah, infact Quran and ahadith are sources which are used to derive expansions, implementations and solutions to legal problems in fiqh and ijtehad. Quranic verses and ahadith donot require fiqh and ijtehad for support Rather Fiqh and Ijtehad require Quranic verses and Ahadith for Logical reasoning and Solution to a problem."

Then you pointed out Certain Issues:

1. Families where still baby-Girl is Not Acceptable
2. Men who go for Second or Third marriages
3. Ratio of men in Pakistan who are Really Kind Rulers
etc etc

These issues(not unimportant but) are other than the topic which was under discussion in this thread so niether i nor anybody else touched these issues because its again Sensitive and debatable matters. Even though if i share my views regarding them HERE, you won't believe or disagree so better that i dont comment about this. As you already mentioned that i have never given answer to your any question so again you will appear with same views.

You are free to live with your own views dear and so i and everyone else is. No one can force other, we can just share what we think. I believe in Positivity and that Islamic Teachings are not outdated in any era. They are enough till last day of the world! and i will continue to live with it. Stay blessed!

__________________
"And whoever puts all his trust in ALLAH, He will be enough for him" (Al-Quran 65:1)

Sadia dear Daisy has very perspicaciously replied to all the queries that people made, calling her chauvinist or anything like that is not a lady's way, she has very rationally and dialectically cleared everything.....If i say that i have never seen in my life so rational and intelligent a girl like Daisy, it won't be wrong.....The girls must obey their husbands and the husbands must spend their money on their wives and take care of them.....you yourself tell me that is it possible that only husband be at the beck and call of her wife, no relation can b one sided lest it can be a compromise but not a true relation...

I think you must not take such things to heart, Daisy has been so balanced in her approach.....we all are facing a lot of vicissitudes in our lives so i have sympathy with you.....

Stay blessed...

__________________
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
But when love is one sided, holding off is no more an option.

@Bilal
Please allow me to say that someway or the other either your threads or posts become controversial. I have seen it many times. Its just a thought...don't mind han

__________________
The power that signals success is the power of your mind.

or if we take it the other way, i only start controversial topics.....
but these things need to be discussed, at least must be brought to light, we must not let a bad thing proliferate or if we can't do anything about it, at least we can make the people realize.....


I just want to make the people realize.....ehsas to ho na kam az kam.....aur me bhaiyo ki baat ka burra ni manata

__________________
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
But when love is one sided, holding off is no more an option.

Don't make this thread a way of admiring a post again and again without giving your own arguments.
If you say women should obey their husband then dear you are no doubt a chauvinist. No offence meant.
If you want an educated, beautiful and a CSP girl she will not obey but respect and love you. Its your choice you want respect and love or obedience?
Dear machavellian approach can not give you a successful marital life.
Follow Locke even if you want to be a ruler.

__________________
Everyone Dies But Not Everyone Lives!