[QUOTE=sabahatbhutta;596637][SIZE="3"]Don't make this thread a way of admiring a post again and again without giving your own arguments.

Perhaps Bilal bhae is going through Dasiymania.
By stirring up controversies bhae is serving this nation

hahaha: so you remember the Machiavelli's stay at Cesare Borgia's camp, he had learnt some good lessons there...and i guess whatever Machiavelli said is not quite bad, and i do not want to conquer my wife with brutal acts of violence nor do i think wife can be conquered or kept happy by Machiavelli's approach, so "The Prince" is a guide to Princes not to Husbands... ....however i can endeavor to keep her happy just like Machiavelli tried to please Medici family..... .......
NOT really Lock's way i guess, i think i must follow J.S Mill in this thing, "Greatest happiness to greatest numbers", and i want my wife to give me the same respect and love as is given to "The Leviathan" of Hobbes, because i as a husband do deserve such respect....and i in return will save her fom every calamity just like The Leviathan, after all Marriage is also a social contract.....and i am appreciating her because she deserves it.....kudos to Daisy, i haven't got a better accolade to give her.....
oh come on Faid bhai, Mania is used for a thing or person you are obsessed with, so wrong usage, i ain't obsessed........bhai i had given you a nice advice that if you don't think this thread is of any use to you, just stay away just like a nonchalant sage, we are not here hearken your wise counsel sir....

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Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
But when love is one sided, holding off is no more an option.

Sadia G
I know your cruel circumstance made you cruel.... but cruelty can never be cured by cruelty. (I know your answer that "Loha Lohey ko kaat-ta hai" thus cruelty be cured by cruelty hahahahaha)

What I like in you is that you are "OPEN". You speak (write) up what is in your mind, which let others understand you better and adjust. I think Kashaf lacks this quality and she should follow you.

please give "LOVE and AFFECTION" a chance for your only enemy is cruelty(whether others' or you own).

I will always pray for your success.

A healthy discussion starts with a single point of view by one person and flourish with participation of other people with multiple views. It loses its Real essence at the very point when we start criticizing or opposing other Participants INSTEAD OF thier arguments. I request you all Please don't criticize or target at someone with whom you don't agree, But discuss matters with Logic and Reasoning.

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"And whoever puts all his trust in ALLAH, He will be enough for him" (Al-Quran 65:1)

It would be Sheer Injustice with that Female! To force woman to earn and enjoy her earnings is one of the many causes that invites Revolt, Abuse, Violence and Fierceness in the Society! Such males exclude themselves from the circle of “Kind Rulers”. They prove that they are Failures and Losers. They can’t be termed as Strong males of Society because they fail to fulfil their very main responsibility to earn and protect their families.
As stated by Our Beloved Prophet (May Peace Be Upon Him)“The woman is like a rib, if you try to straighten it, you will break it.” The rib is bent in its make and not straight, and it serves best its purpose in the state in which it is created, and so of the woman it is said that being like a rib she serves her purpose best in the state in which she has been created; to straighten her, i.e., to make her work just as the man pleases, or to try to make her possess the sterner male qualities of man, is to break her down.
Such men should not expect a happy and contented life with a broken partner…..

I am sorry I couldn’t get what Really you want to ask (possibility of exercising control drop??).. Please elaborate your question…..
To the extent of my understanding of your question I would say that Thrashing and maltreating a woman in NO WAY is allowed in Islam. Exercising control using these severe and harsh ways itself is a Starting point of Opposition by the Other Party which flourish hatred and unpleasant feelings only and where there lies no more space of Friendly and peaceful Environment to live! It would be a Forceful Ruling Only instead of one that is desirable and acceptable.

Love, Kindness, Patience, Discussion, and Compromise by both parties is the best way to solve all the issues. Men in no way are allowed to use any kind of violence or right to abuse or torture them physically and emotionally…Women must be treated with dignity otherwise men who resort to violence against them are simply below the level of humanity.


Look! it must be clear that the difference in authority in the marital relationship is not indicative of a difference of worth. So we should not Mix Authority with Basic Rights. Authority increase Responsibility of Husband, Its not like that it Reduce the Rights of Wife!
If she is not willing to spend her life with that man she is given all the authority to go for Separation. But this Solution should be the Extreme Option only! First of all both parties should negotiate matters with Discussions by involving third parties in between and give some time to each other. No sensible person would like to break his home unless there are extreme causes.

But women are Naturally more Patient as compared to Men. They have God Gifted Tolerance Power! The temperament of man differs from that of woman in one respect. Man is Naturally stern and harsh, therefore largely unyielding; it was necessary that he should be so, so that he might be able to face the hard struggles of life. The woman who is meant to bring up the children has been so created that the quality of love preponderates in her and she is devoid of the sternness of man; she is therefore inclined to one side sooner than the man. These things are in Nature and we cannot change nature.


Well Take the Example of This World! We all are sent in this world where we are free to live our life the way we wish. BUT Promise of Secure and Pleasant Life is only with Those people who obey their Lord! Obedience is not an easy task! But Its Reward is Extremely Pleasant. Those who don’t obey, Life does not cease for them, but they are not guaranteed with Inner peace of heart and Secured future, neither in this life nor in the life afterwards. Those who Can’t Obey their Lord who loves more than 70 mothers don’t deserve any guarantee of peace and happiness. Isn’t it justifiable? It IS.

Similarly, In a marital Relation a wife who obeys her kind, loving and caring husband (even against her own will sometimes) enjoys love, care and respect in return. If she doesn’t do so and claims that she is independent and not his slave then what happens? A day, a week, a month, year and years…… Passes and at the end of the day she regrets! She want that Love, Care and Protection Again! Independence in no way is substitute of Protection and Care! She then wish for that life again where her husband order her and she remember the sweet essence of those feelings which one enjoys after Obedience Only. Obedience is not Slavery, it’s a Hidden empire. Had Obedience been such a “bad act”, as assumed by many, then why Our Perfect religion has instructed us to Obey Our Lord, Our Parents, Teachers, and Elders. Billions of examples around need an observer eye only!

Since men are guardians and maintainers of their wives, they must have some authority to make decisions, for a husband cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of his wife without having some decision-making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is a legitimate necessity for obedience from the other.

I wonder that women who work obey their manager’s commands for the sake of money, yet feel irritated when Allah commands them to obey their husbands as a religious obligation.


Marital relationship is to be established on a basis of mutual understanding, compassion, and love. Moreover, this relationship is a reciprocal one. It is not one-way. Both the husband and wife must maintain together with closeness, affection, softness of heart, and mutual caring.

Give and Take is beauty and Secret of a Balanced Life. Why to feel need to curtail this?? E.g. in the Sacred Relation of Friendship, You give Love and Care to your friend with pure heart, Trust him. Naturally your friend will give you respect from core of heart and feel good to spend his time and share his feelings with you without any fears. What’s bad in that? Do Good Have Good and enjoy the Essence of Positive Actions with positive Reactions!

__________________
"And whoever puts all his trust in ALLAH, He will be enough for him" (Al-Quran 65:1)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy It would be Sheer Injustice with that Female! To force woman to earn and enjoy her earnings is one of the many causes that invites Revolt, Abuse, Violence and Fierceness in the Society! Such males exclude themselves from the circle of “Kind Rulers”. They prove that they are Failures and Losers. They can’t be termed as Strong males of Society because they fail to fulfil their very main responsibility to earn and protect their families. As stated by Our Beloved Prophet (May Peace Be Upon Him)“The woman is like a rib, if you try to straighten it, you will break it.” The rib is bent in its make and not straight, and it serves best its purpose in the state in which it is created, and so of the woman it is said that being like a rib she serves her purpose best in the state in which she has been created; to straighten her, i.e., to make her work just as the man pleases, or to try to make her possess the sterner male qualities of man, is to break her down. Such men should not expect a happy and contented life with a broken partner…..

You have reiterated in previous posts that Husbands have Edge over wives because they spend money on them. Do above quoted women enjoy same obedience in those certain cases or its irreversible authority enjoyed by men? Can those wives aspire to be obeyed by their better halves?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Love, Kindness, Patience, Discussion, and Compromise by both parties is the best way to solve all the issues. Men in no way are allowed to use any kind of violence or right to abuse or torture them physically and emotionally…Women must be treated with dignity otherwise men who resort to violence against them are simply below the level of humanity.

Certainly,he is an inhuman but what is remedy to the aggrieved wives? They are human beings too. Why are they just supposed to endure till their last breath?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Look! it must be clear that the difference in authority in the marital relationship is not indicative of a difference of worth. So we should not Mix Authority with Basic Rights. Authority increase Responsibility of Husband, Its not like that it Reduce the Rights of Wife! If she is not willing to spend her life with that man she is given all the authority to go for Separation. But this Solution should be the Extreme Option only! First of all both parties should negotiate matters with Discussions by involving third parties in between and give some time to each other. No sensible person would like to break his home unless there are extreme causes.

Even blood relatives of divorce-seeking lady suppress her in this unjust & imbalanced society. They advise her to bear all this cruelty as it is her destiny.

Unless women are taught how to earn, they would never get a respectable life in this male dominated era.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy But women are Naturally more Patient as compared to Men. They have God Gifted Tolerance Power! The temperament of man differs from that of woman in one respect. Man is Naturally stern and harsh,

Any Scientific research to prove your point?

If we agree for a moment; Why do women of west seem different? Nature must have not categorized characteristics between east & west.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy therefore largely unyielding; it was necessary that he should be so, so that he might be able to face the hard struggles of life.

There is no hard & fast rule that only men toil in this world. Some unfortunate women painstakingly work day & night to survive. This is not something the make someone superior to other gender.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Well Take the Example of This World! We all are sent in this world where we are free to live our life the way we wish. BUT Promise of Secure and Pleasant Life is only with Those people who obey their Lord! Obedience is not an easy task! But Its Reward is Extremely Pleasant. Those who don’t obey, Life does not cease for them, but they are not guaranteed with Inner peace of heart and Secured future, neither in this life nor in the life afterwards. Those who Can’t Obey their Lord who loves more than 70 mothers don’t deserve any guarantee of peace and happiness. Isn’t it justifiable? It IS.

I strongly differ. Please Let the man remain as creature. Dont find divinity in him. Two people consent to spend life with each other on certain terms & conditions hence they sign a contract. It has nothing to do with relation between Creator & creature.

The very purpose of life is to worship Allah (SWT).

The purpose of Marriage is Reproduction & Companionship. (Nothing more).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Obedience is not Slavery, it’s a Hidden empire. Had Obedience been such a “bad act”, as assumed by many, then why Our Perfect religion has instructed us to Obey Our Lord, Our Parents, Teachers, and Elders. Billions of examples around need an observer eye only!

No relation can be compared to that of husband & wife. I don't want to elucidate my statement due to decorum of forum. Don't portray men as super human beings who cant miscue; absolute power is always exploited. Kindly give a wife some space to differ if she thinks her hubby is on wrong side or he exceeds prescribed limits.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Since men are guardians and maintainers of their wives, they must have some authority to make decisions, for a husband cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of his wife without having some decision-making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is a legitimate necessity for obedience from the other.

You are just seeing one side of coin. What if his decisions are unwise, illegitimate? Who can veto it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daisy Give and Take is beauty and Secret of a Balanced Life. Why to feel need to curtail this?? E.g. in the Sacred Relation of Friendship, You give Love and Care to your friend with pure heart, Trust him. Naturally your friend will give you respect from core of heart and feel good to spend his time and share his feelings with you without any fears. What’s bad in that? Do Good Have Good and enjoy the Essence of Positive Actions with positive Reactions!

This is exactly what I want. We don't want to obey or be obeyed by our friends. let the spouses befriend each other. Life would be hell if one is boss & other is his dumbo employee.

Regards,

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When you try, you risk failure. When you don’t try, you ensure it.

I have not seen the drama but after reading plenty of posts what i draw from the content that variations in ones character should not exist and girls have no right to be stubborn. But to be honest enough, men have not really understood the glorious height of a woman. Gauging women love is not easy and it is also unfair to write that marrying a villager women is not good. All the great leaders had villager parents. Hence, it does not make any sense that a woman should be bureaucrat or etc.

Men and women are equal on all footings. No one can justify that Kashaf is bad and saima is perfect. To me, all women and men have equal status. Yes, qualities and traits may be different but on the basis of a fantasy or novel based drama one can't deduce that society is marching towards moral and ethical decadence.

To sum up the issue. I would like to post the following words of David:

“Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”


― David O. Mckay

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You are an eagle, flight is your vocation:
You have other skies stretching out before you.

Assalam-0-alaikum,
dear learned members you are going on & on, but to proceed further listen that there is no Khuda except Allah Almighty alone... and what they kind of people introduced the kind of Khuda i.e. Majazi....

there is one Allah who is our Khuda in all our states, senses and figure of speech and in our mood whatever it is even majazi

..... as far as the mutual relation of husband & wife is concerned, Alhamdulillah, we are muslims & we must know that there are beautiful adequate rules, guidelines sent down by Allah Almighty in Quran-e-pak and to his Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammmad sal Allahu alyhi waalyhi wasallam (Ahadees), for both of two, to lead successful, happy and exemplary matrimonial life.....

I think there is left no discussion but to discuss the discussion...........